Do you allocate $$ for troubled relatives in your firecalc?

[Rambler]

I don’t have a particular plan for helping relatives in need, but we have enough resources to help prevent homelessness and hunger of my siblings. My DW has one sister, and she is probably the one we’d have to worry about. That said, we’ve already decided that any help we ever give to any relative will be only to avert homelessness and hunger, after all they could do for themselves, AND, provided they had not frittered away their own resources. For example, DW has no intention to provide any help to her sister, who lives in Japan, and who does fritter her money away gambling. I have a sister that I’ve helped in the past, when she was getting back on her feet from a debilitating bout with breast cancer. I’ve also helped my brother on one occasion, when he didn’t have enough resources to come to a family reunion for our again parents’ 60th anniversary celebration. Each of those was just a few hundred dollars. We did help DW’s dad with his business expenses about 20 years ago...supposed to be a loan, but we knew it was probably going to be money down a black hole...he’d repay some then ask for more in a couple days. I think we ended up down about $10k. But, that was 20 years ago, and at that time, $10k was a seriously painful loss, and was before my career took a serious upward trajectory. That’s about the time DW decided she’d never help her sister again (who was the bookkeeper for FIL’s business, and somehow had everything she wanted while his business was failing).

All of the above said, I’m the executor of my folks will, and I’m comfortable enough that whatever they leave me would be small in my scheme of things, but could be significant for my two of my three siblings. My folks do plan a large charitable donation, after which we kids would receive an equal share. I was considering donating my portion to their favorite charity as well, but some of the previous posts have me thinking that perhaps that donation should be gifted to my siblings instead. My folks at one point insisted that as executor, I distribute the other siblings’ portions to banks that hold their debts. Dad, being a bit “careful” with his money, refuses to have a lawyer set up those wishes legally, so I told him that as executor, I would have no power to force them to list up their debts for me, given the way he’s written his will. So we agreed that he would leave a letter for each of them, encouraging them to use their proceeds to reduce or eliminate debt, instead of a trip to Disneyland or Hawaii. So, I think what I might do, is to re-gift, if you will, my proceeds to my siblings and my children, with the condition that my gift to them is to reduce their debt and that my gift would go directly to the bank holding their debt. As long as my gifts are below the reporting threshold annually, I don’t see any problems with this idea. Then again, maybe its best to just keep those proceeds in a separate account in case some sort of neediness arises in the future. We’ll see when the time comes.

 

[Hermit]

My son has had mental issues that first appeared in a recognizable way about the time I retired. They were manageable until recently but now appear to be beyond his ability to manage. He may very well live with me for the rest of my life. His issues along with cost overages on building my house have about doubled my annual expenses from what was planned at retirement in 2013. I am in the process of making sure he will have living necessities for his lifetime. My takeaway is that there are things that may come along that are impossible to plan for. I am very grateful that, through happenstance, not planning, I retired with a whole lot more in the way of funds than I need to maintain my standard of living which has allowed me to help a family member in need.

 

[Chuckanut]

My son has had mental issues that first appeared in a recognizable way about the time I retired. They were manageable until recently but now appear to be beyond his ability to manage. He may very well live with me for the rest of my life.

Have you checked out the ABLE accounts as a way to put tax preferred money aside for your child?

https://www.ablenrc.org/what-is-able/what-are-able-acounts/

ABLE Accounts, which are tax-advantaged savings accounts for individuals with disabilities and their families, were created as a result of the passage of the Stephen Beck Jr. Achieving a Better Life Experience Act of 2014 or better known as the ABLE Act. The beneficiary of the account is the account owner, and income earned by the accounts will not be taxed. Contributions to the account, which can be made by any person (the account beneficiary, family, friends Special Needs Trust or Pooled Trust), must be made using post-taxed dollars and will not be tax deductible for purposes of federal taxes; however, some states may allow for state income tax deductions for contributions made to an ABLE account.

 

[unclemick]

Yes we did and have and do.

Everyone has issues in life and there is no clear cut answers to many of life's challenges.

Do the best you can is best you can do....

gamboolman....

Ditto.

Since High School have been a bit of a soft touch. Always kept within compass and tried to never get over my skies. All 'loans' were assumed to be truly gifts so as never to be disappointed when not payed back.

Heh heh heh - Still working on my Curmudgeon persona.