Sunset
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I'm sure some will take Venmo , as many I see around here have cell phones.
My ex keeps a bunch of $5 McDonald’s gift cards in his car and wallet so if someone asks him for money he gives them one.
Interesting thread. Did anyone ever find themselves on a different page vs significant other? One wants to give...other doesn't?
In earlier times in our marriage we were like this. DW has a heart of gold. I am the one with a heart of stone. In addition, the dynamics in her family put unfair pressure on her to help relatives as they assumed we were well off, and the attitude was "you are just lucky, we deserve what you have" . So she was always ready to help, no questions asked. Experience became the best teacher, and fortunately what we "lost" was not substantial. She came to the realization to never "loan" more than one would not resent if it were never paid back.
But we learned from each other, as I, having more "street smarts" experience and being wary of ever giving anything, was softened to some degree by DW.
Differences in giving we had then were also solved by our individual no questions asked" budget allocations. DW probably used half of hers to loan/gift to others. I might disagree, but it is hers to control.
I wouldn't give to official charities because too much of that money is wasted on administration costs.
When people ask me for money in the street, I assume they ask because they need money and I almost always give them some. I never ask what they plan to do with it, as, in my view, a gift has no conditions. Yes, I have been roundly chastised by friends for doing that.
Once, about 25 years ago, some guy approached me in the parking lot as I was leaving work for the day. It was cold and snowing like crazy. He asked if I could spare a dollar and, even though I didn't ask, told me "Look, I'll be straight with you; I'm going to buy booze." I replied "Well, you're not going to get much for a dollar" and gave him a ten. It was worth it just to see his shocked expression.
I wouldn't let someone come up to me in a parking lot and stand there and open my bag. (It would be different if they were in an open area and I walked up to them.) When I worked in the City, I wore a long black trench coat which had internal and external pockets. I carried a nylon bag which I held under my arm tight to my side. The point was to look neat, but not like money. I kept singles in my outer pockets for hand outs - but I would try not to show "cash" just slip it to the person quickly as I walked by. Sort of a hit-and-run. Probably my max street donation was $20 to a homeless woman who was not asking for it.
Yeah, as a female I get freaked out by people approaching me in parking lots to ask for money or trying to sell stuff. Go away!!!
Yeah, as a female I get freaked out by people approaching me in parking lots to ask for money or trying to sell stuff. Go away!!!
I worked in social services for 35 years and I do not like it when people approach me in a parking lot or other seemingly inappropriate places and invade my space.
Boundaries are important to keep.
I don't even give away cash to charities anymore. Too many reports of abuse/skimming by many (not all). It's just hard to know which are good ones and which are not. I still give frequently to the local food bank. Ex, actual canned goods and non perishables. I guess they could be re-selling what I give them but for now, I'll still give.
Interesting thread. Did anyone ever find themselves on a different page vs significant other? One wants to give...other doesn't?