We pay about 21% on income that is a bit lower than the OP. I think that is pretty reasonable. Someone's gotta pay for the schools and roads, and it isn't going to happen on the backs of the folks raising 4 kids on 35k/year. Whenever I'm aghast at our tax bill (and it happens) I take a breath and remind myself how incredibly fortunate we are.
I'm probably going to be able to retire by age 45. So I remind myself: You're a lucky chick. You've got it great. Pay it forward and stop yer bellyachin'
But if you retire by age 45, who is going to pay for the schools and roads you mention? Won't your early retirement place a greater burden on those folks raising 4 kids on $35K/yr? Since it is not a zero sum game, even if someone takes over your current job and its salary, it still means one more highly paid person out of the workforce. Tax revenues decline.
The reason I bring this up is because a person in the comments section from the linked article in the "ER's we know" thread writes:
"
Too early retired = too rich = selfish => lack of money circulation = poorness for others and destruction of the economical system. Period."
Apparently, this person believes that early retirees do not pay their fair share of human capital. They are selfish bums. And he has a point, at least at some level. Perhaps ER should be banned in the name of societal good. So I am intrigued at attitudes towards taxes in ER forums. There is no right or wrong answer, but personally, I am leaning towards being a selfish bum.
Back to the OP's question. My situation is similar except that I am single. And I agree. People like us are very fortunate. We take many things for granted. Still, I consider every possible way to legally reduce my tax burden ... 401k max with age 50 catchup, HSA, DAF, tax loss harvesting, mortgage refinance considerations, municipal bonds, backdoor Roth (IRA and 401k), etc.
There often is not a lot one can do - except reduce income (or ER). I agree with others who suggest cutting the work load from full-time to part-time or having one parent stay at home after children are born. It is useful to consider the tradeoffs between salary, taxes, work, and the benefits of having additional time not spent in the workforce. Reducing the work hours can be particularly advantageous when considering marginal tax rates. There can be a significant bang for the buck.