ER with young kids

[soupcxan]

Are you turning down the thousands of dollars in tax breaks you get when you receive tax-free health insurance benefits paid by your employer? I recall you were earning a six figure salary, so I presume you consider yourself well off enough to not need to suck thousands of dollars of subsidies from the public coffers.

Or maybe you're like the rest of us and accept whatever breaks you can get and pay taxes when you have to, and take all reasonable steps to minimize those taxes and maximize those benefits. It's simply smart, and I encourage my children to be smart.

The intent of the employer healthcare deduction was to encourage employers to offer healthcare which is how I use it. I'm pretty sure the intent of the home mortgage interest and charitable giving itemized deductions was to encourage home ownership and donations, which I also utilize as intended.

I seriously doubt the intent of the state children's health insurance program (SCHIP) was to subsidize healthcare for kids of millionaires.

 

[Maenad]

I think a good work ethic can be taught through things other than a paying job. The work ethic I learned from my parents included doing chores around the house and yard, tackling home improvement projects, etc. as well.

A lot of it is attitude. Are you rolling up your sleeves and pitching in? Do you take on big hard jobs, like helping your friends and family move? Can you show them the satisfaction of a job well done? All of these things contribute.

And I agree with others. My dad worked first shift at a warehouse (until he was laid off at age 55 and turned it into ER) and he was home every day shortly after 3. Having my dad there, rather than traveling all the time like the dads of some of my friends, was awesome, and we're closer now for it. I can only imagine how much extra support my folks would have been able to give us if they'd been retired younger.

I need to go call my parents and thank them. *sniff*

 

[NYEXPAT]

I was retired at 34, several years before my youngest was born. We had a very large house on a very large piece of wooded property. We had an office with 5-6 employees on the lower level. I spent the first 8 years of my daughters life, clearing trees, building rock walls, leveling and terracing the property as well as the property of our 80 y/o neighbors. I am sure she grew up thinking Daddy was a landscaper. Fast forward 20 years and she was at the top of her class in H.S., Univ. of Michigan, University of Denver, obtained her P.H.D. and has launched her career.

I now have a 12 y/o who is bilingual and at the top of his class every year and talks incessantly about going to Harvard and owning a Ferrari.

At 63, I also have a 23 month y/o son. Who counts to 10 and knows the entire alphabet in English. Which will not help him much as we live in a Spanish speaking country. We are a bilingual family and even though his preference is for English he is using Spanish words that he picks up from his nanny.

The ability to have time with your children/ educate them / teach them life lessons is priceless!

 

[TallTim]

...The ability to have time with your children/ educate them / teach them life lessons is priceless!

+1 to this. I RE'd with two teens in the house and got an extra 2 yrs with one of them at home and 1 year with the other. Even in near-term hindsight (coming up on 18 mos RE), it is 100% worthwhile to spend time in this way if one can afford it.

Also, our kids are old enough to well understand what's going on (and that we're not applying for financial aid while sending them to private colleges), so that conduct speaks louder and clearer to them than most anything DW or I could tell them.

DS seems to have understood better than most, as he's asked for some resources to learn options trading and whether we would stake him a small amount to for a trial run.

My advice to the OP (and anyone in similar situation) is to leave when you can afford to go and that the worry about kids' perceptions about your not going to a regular job like their friends' parents is overblown

 

[mistershankly]

I was retired at 34, several years before my youngest was born. We had a very large house on a very large piece of wooded property. We had an office with 5-6 employees on the lower level. I spent the first 8 years of my daughters life, clearing trees, building rock walls, leveling and terracing the property as well as the property of our 80 y/o neighbors. I am sure she grew up thinking Daddy was a landscaper. Fast forward 20 years and she was at the top of her class in H.S., Univ. of Michigan, University of Denver, obtained her P.H.D. and has launched her career.

I now have a 12 y/o who is bilingual and at the top of his class every year and talks incessantly about going to Harvard and owning a Ferrari.

At 63, I also have a 23 month y/o son. Who counts to 10 and knows the entire alphabet in English. Which will not help him much as we live in a Spanish speaking country. We are a bilingual family and even though his preference is for English he is using Spanish words that he picks up from his nanny.

The ability to have time with your children/ educate them / teach them life lessons is priceless!

Thank you for sharing this. We (44 & 45yr olds) have a 3yr old and the thought of relocating outside the US to FIRE is becoming more attractive. What was the catalyst to relocate outside the US? Have you faced any challenges raising children outside the US with family in the US (assuming you are in touch with family here)? Any details of your journey would be greatly appreciated.

 

[NYEXPAT]

Thank you for sharing this. We (44 & 45yr olds) have a 3yr old and the thought of relocating outside the US to FIRE is becoming more attractive. What was the catalyst to relocate outside the US? Have you faced any challenges raising children outside the US with family in the US (assuming you are in touch with family here)? Any details of your journey would be greatly appreciated.

The catalyst for moving to Peru was 9/11. I was living nearby and it changed my life forever. I actually boarded my flight on 9/11/03 in remembrance.

My Daughter from my first wife was 15 at the time I left and we both cried alot, but she understood and fully supported my desire for happiness. She was closer to her mothers side of the family and other than my 99 y/o father, really has no contact.

When I came to Peru, I was 50 y/o and married a Peruana who was 22 at the time. 14 years later, we have two Sons 23 months and 11. My wife has a large family so unlike your children, mine are surrounded by family constantly.

Both my Sons have a very close relationship with my Father and talk about him all the time. We have a landline in the house and at least 5-10 times a day the little one will come into my office, holding the phone and saying in babytalk that his grandfather wants to talk to me. It is quite unusual as most young children are afraid of old people (Ancients) yet the first time they met the little guy would not leave his side.

While every country is different, it is very important to find the right school for your children (private was our only option) but costs can vary widely. Also in SA culture, what school you go to (talking grade school here) may very well determine his ability to advance in his future career.

Where we are the same, is that I need to move my family up to the USA for a period of at least five years and we are agonizing over where will be the best opportunities job wise for my wife and school wise for my children and weather wise for me. My wife and I will return to Peru with the youngest son, but the older one will probably stay behind for a few years for University and career.

I am sorry I could not be more helpful and the oldest one is bugging me to take him surfing this morning.

 

[respond2u]

... I'm pretty sure the intent of the home mortgage interest and charitable giving itemized deductions was to encourage home ownership and donations, which I also utilize as intended.
...

Would you make a bet with me ? : )

I found a nice article of the history of the deduction in Who Needs the Mortgage-Interest Deduction? - The New York Times

"When Congress made interest deductible, it was probably thinking of business interest. Just as today, the aim was to tax a business's profits after expenses had been netted out, and interest was an expense like any other. In a nation of small proprietors, basically all interest looked like business interest."

He prefaced that by pointing out that most people bought homes with cash back in those days anyway. The first history I read of this (years ago) explained that, back in those days, a considerable number of small shop owners lived above their stores so extricating the business use from personal use was just too complicated (remember: no electronic calculators or computers back in 191x).

As for Medicaid/CHIP: if we hadn't wanted people like Fuego to be eligible, we would have prevented it like we did with SNAP (food stamps) via means testing. [BTW, same thing applies to ACA subsidies. I was surprised there was no means testing.]

BTW, I disbelieve the statement that the mortgage deduction supports homeOWNership. Instead, I believe it supports homeOWErship. Most of the people you call a homeowner are actually mortgage payment owners.

 

[NYEXPAT]

Just curious, as medicaid/CHIP is at the state level, are there better states than others to live if you have young children. Also, was CHIP around before ACA and if ACA were to be repealed. does that affect CHIP or not.