steelyman
Moderator Emeritus
There's a good thing about calling it a gift: you can say it like Don Corleone on the day of his daughter's wedding.
....When I get together with that side of the family, my dad and my uncle still make me fight to pay for anything. I will always be the broke college student in their eyes
...is the sense to some that being retired means we have more free time and that fairness somehow dictates that it should be available for their use.
No such thing as a loan to family, it is a gift that occasionally gets paid back.
But don't ever expect to see any payback in full. Those requiring help often don't have the capacity and character to fulfill their promises.
I'd rather just give'em the money and have no expectations. If they do pay me back, those are the relatives I'll take care of later in life. Otherwise, I'm of no further assistance.
..............
Lesson learned for both my sister and me, never loan to family, just gift it if you feel it is justified and you can afford it.
Years ago, when I was still in college, my sister paid for me to attend a wedding. The cost was not great, but she didn't have much to spare. She never asked for repayment, just what one does for family. Fast forward 20 years, she was in need, and I gave her $10k. She still puts it on her balance sheet as a debt, but I am not planning to be repaid. When she needs things, I try to help her out (sometimes cash, sometimes advice). It is how my parents raised us, take care of family and they will take care of you. She will pay me back some day (when my parents are both dead, I suspect), and I probably will tell her to give it to my sons since they will likely need it more than me.
Was wondering if anyone had an increase of family members, both near or far, approach you after you've early retired looking for a loan cash gift?
I'm 58 and will be ER'ing later this year and I think it's likely this may happen here at least once. If you walk out early and not take SS, some will think your flush with unlimited funds.
Just wondering. Thanks.
My DD is about to learn her handouts are over and the only thing she can hope for is a handup with conditions. Despite repeated warnings she failed to get her schooling done in 4 years, and once it was apparent last year she would not graduate in 4, she did not heed my advise to apply a year early for federal loans. Now she has found out they will only loan her half what she needs ( oh and I had to jump her to beat the deadline this year by only a week). She now needs private loans to secure rest of money. Ex and I mutually decided, no cosigning until you get a summer job and secure one for the school year. We told her bank institutions consider you a credit risk thus needing a cosigner. We consider you one also based on your aversion to work menial normal college jobs.
This could get interesting!
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In a give and take scenario I certainly agree. My siblings have never asked for a loan but if they did, I would certainly trust them and hope vice versa as well. As far as my daughter goes.... No more fish, its time you got the pole handed to you instead...... Go catch some yourself now.
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No such thing as a loan to family, it is a gift that occasionally gets paid back.
Polonius had it right way back when. Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.