Happiness

[Retired Expat]

Got to thinking if this might be the happiest I have ever been in my life? Or is it just contentment?

What really is it that makes us happy at different stages in our lifetime?

What are your happiness triggers? Love, success, quiet contentment? And how have they changed in retirement?

I shall regress. This morning had my coffee in bed and studied my 45 minutes of Spanish online. Got up, worked in the kitchen a bit making fresh apple sauce, (all that peeling) went off to meet DW for a cafe con leche and a chat, came home to the lake house to marvel at the ever changing view (today puffy little clouds reflecting in the water and in the sky.

Made the bed, emptied the dishwasher and cleaned out the inside of the car and vacuumed it. (We have dogs so yuck!)

So nothing great right? Still am joyfully happy! In October will be in Paris and will be happy too.

So what is the nature of your happiness? Only took me 60 years to figure out mine. Or that it changes and we need to change with it. Know too many people fixed on one idea of happiness and pursue it doggedly all their lives only to never really find it, or they find just enough occasionally to keep them going.

Hoping you all find your happiness today!

 

[citrine]

I love this post!
I think having the gift of time and the freedom to do whatever you want on a daily basis is the core of happiness. DH and I have coffee every morning on the patio with the 2 dogs...just watch the beautiful clouds go by, then feed all the animals, and get ready to start the day. I might have an appointment, he might work on a project....we make lunch together and then read or surf the net. I cannot get over how happy this routine makes me! We could travel or hang out with friends, or just tan in the the courtyard....that amazing freedom to do whatever!

 

[Retired Expat]

Thanks Citrine, just what I was getting at. For you it is the gift of Time. For others it may be the extra cash now that kids are gone, commute and business expenses are gone. I. For others the absence os stress. So many roads to happiness and options for it in retirement.

 

[Dtail]

Didn't play Pickleball today due to all day rain, but was just thinking about how it was still a nice day. Did a couple of errands and that's it.
Still felt a sense of contentment.
Nice to be retired.

 

[tmm99]

Definitely nice to be retired. I can't escape from my own personality (a bit of a worrywart), but I have those bursts of happy moments at the oddest moments. The freedom to be able to do just whatever, wherever, whenever, is really nice.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

There are so many things I could post about my happiness, but Retired Expat covered it pretty well.

This morning, it was magnificent outside. Low 60s and no humidity. I was able to sit outside and enjoy my coffee while watching a couple of fawns frolic around the deer feeder. It has been fun to watch them grow and their spots are slowly fading and they have been entertaining me on a daily basis for almost a month. Because of my early retirement, I didn't have to contend with traffic, co-workers, a schedule, or well....anything....true freedom and I truly blessed.

 

[W2R]

For the first half century of my life, I was always striving for accomplishment and success. Guess I was "driven".

Then I got divorced, which was a Big Deal to me because in my family, you don't get divorced. Or so I thought! Despite all my hard work and so-called accomplishments in school and career, I felt like a complete and utter failure because I could not do something as simple as keep a marriage together. Well, it's not really simple but at the time I thought it must be.

Anyway, divorce was the worst experience ever. I never wanted to make that mistake again, so for two or three years I spent a great deal of time meditating and trying to figure out what I really, REALLY want in life. That was the biggest puzzle I have ever attempted to solve, and I was lucky in that I pretty much figured it out. Since then, I have found that if I focus on my top priorities (what I really want the most) then happiness just sort of falls in place for me. Not to say that meditation would work for everyone but it sure did for me.

One of several top priorities to emerge turned out to be free time to enjoy life. Who knew? From the time I was a pre-schooler, I did not have any play time or free time; chores, school work, job.... those of you who had a very strict upbringing know the drill.

Now that I am retired, I have arranged my life so that I have a lot of free time to do whatever I want and that makes me happy. Wish I had figured this out 60 years earlier, but oh well! Better late than never.

Frank says "Happiness is a do-it-yourself project" and I whole-heartedly agree. Nobody will do it for us, and because we are each different, we have to figure this out for ourselves.

 

[hopefullyoneday]

For me at this stage in my life which is 5 yrs from retirement Happiness is working as much overtime as i can. I know it sounds strange but i have a goal to meet as far as my pension. I am also contributing double in my 457 as a 3 year catch up rule i am eligible to take advantage of. I have virtually unlimited overtime to take advantage of which should get me where i need to be. After this will come retirement and a different happiness to look forward to.

 

[donheff]

At 16 years into ER, I'm basically feeling the same way as the OP. And that's despite being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease last October. A good deal of it is probably due to making good financial choices leading to a comfortable ER. But, research shows a general trend of increasing content as we age, so that may be another part of it. In any event, I hope it continues as we wind down.

 

[street]

Like you said, in life we have different times of happiness. I never really thought about that but priority and time in our life has different passions and love of life.

I have been very happy with retirement and the freedom of doing and going on the drop of the hat is priceless.

I for one would of never guessed that I would be so happy in retirement, because my work was so important to me. I worked very hard and endlessly to get to where I was in my career and to give that up, wasn't easy.

 

[frayne]

Happiness is a warm gun, momma, bang, bang, shoot, shoot.

John Lennon.

 

[Jerry1]

Frank says "Happiness is a do-it-yourself project" and I whole-heartedly agree. Nobody will do it for us, and because we are each different, we have to figure this out for ourselves.

I think Frank is right. Even more refined, it’s your state of mind. Some are happy even when things are going bad and others are miserable when sitting on the top of the world. You have to want to be happy and accept being happy. I also agree that free time and just “being” are great factors in happiness, at least in mine. Retirement didn’t change my happiness much, but I really appreciate being able to have stepped away from the responsibilities of work to enjoy my time in other ways.

 

[athena53]

At 16 years into ER, I'm basically feeling the same way as the OP. And that's despite being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease last October. A good deal of it is probably due to making good financial choices leading to a comfortable ER. But, research shows a general trend of increasing content as we age, so that may be another part of it. In any event, I hope it continues as we wind down.

I feel similarly despite being slowed down a bit by a "stuff happens" leaky heart valve diagnosis. I'm 68 and I'll never do a triathlon again and bicycling uphill or taking hikes with a steep altitude gain are uncomfortable (I breathe too hard) so I avoid them. Doc has pretty much said "Live your life" but pay attention to these signals.

But... I don't have to set an alarm. I can do as much or as little volunteer work as I want. I had a good second marriage but have been widowed 5 years and actually enjoy living alone, with occasional companionship from a friend I met on Match.com. I've traveled to some wonderful places and I'm not done yet (just have to cut out hikes with names like "Boulder bash".)

And- my grandchildren. The icing on the cake. They live 3 hours away, which isn't a bad distance, and they are the joy of my life. (So are DS and DDIL, of course).

And yes, money is a big factor. I always lived in fear of ending up old and poor. It won't happen. Last year the car died- paid cash for a new one. This year it's 2 dental implants and last week my computer died and it wasn't cost-effective to repair. I am grateful that I can just hand over my credit card (2% cash back, pay in full every month) and do what needs to be done. A comfortable old age isn't cheap.

 

[pjigar]

Frank says "Happiness is a do-it-yourself project" and I whole-heartedly agree. Nobody will do it for us, and because we are each different, we have to figure this out for ourselves.

I am one of those DIY project happy camper which is why we moved to an acreage. More room for all my junk and the projects.

Jokes aside, I think happiness is much more complex compound and the ingredients are different for different people. For me: it's free time, friends, Family, Projects, Gardening, Nature and a couple of drinks in the evening (in no particular order).

 

[FIREd]

I find contentment in fairly mundane, easily accessible things like good food, a cup of hot tea, nature, a good movie, music, creative activities, learning new skills, etc... I feel content most days, except when I am rushed. So I live slowly and mindfully, which FIRE enables me to do.

True happiness requires a bit more - a sense of community mainly (whether through friends, family, romantic relationships, neighbors, etc...).

 

[Scrapr]

I was so happy last night I started to cry. After losing Mrs Scrapr 2+ years ago I started dating. Hit it off pretty quickly. Last night we were at an outdoor concert (Keb'Mo) in a small venue. About 30 yds from the stage. Beautiful night, pretty woman next to me, good food & wine. Enjoying being back in Bend, Or. Keb'Mo starts in on Life is Beautiful. It just hit me how very lucky I am & I started crying


https://youtu.be/OI_GNu8jaSA

 

[Markola]

Scrapr, as far as I’m concerned, you win. [emoji16]

It’s interesting to think of happiness in evolutionary terms. For most of our one hundred thousand years, our species existed in a state of extreme peril. The goal was not “happiness” but, instead, “not dying” from accidents, bacteria, violence, bad water, bad berries, predators, you name it. Cortisol-induced fear kept us alert and alive while serotonin and dopamine were painkillers and helped us have some occasional sense of well-being. Those ancestors who survived and reproduced were probably not the “happiest” but the most fearful and careful. Society started to emerge only 4,000 years ago, so if many of us still walk around in our much safer world nevertheless with a sense of existential dread or other states we moderns consider “ailments” for no identifiable reason, it’s really no wonder: That was perhaps our successful ancestors’ most valuable and natural state over the eons.

If some of us today enjoy more serotonin and dopamine daily, due to genetics or perhaps as a by product of aging, good on ‘em and their good fortune. I just doubt that everyone can achieve that state through effort. Instead of “achieving happiness”, which seems more about the genetic lottery to me, it makes sense to me to make decisions that foster well-being and security, which are different things and that are more in my sphere of control.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I was so happy last night I started to cry. After losing Mrs Scrapr 2+ years ago I started dating. Hit it off pretty quickly. Last night we were at an outdoor concert (Keb'Mo) in a small venue. About 30 yds from the stage. Beautiful night, pretty woman next to me, good food & wine. Enjoying being back in Bend, Or. Keb'Mo starts in on Life is Beautiful. It just hit me how very lucky I am & I started crying


https://youtu.be/OI_GNu8jaSA

Your post has made my pretty awesome day, even awesomer. I am very happy that you have found happiness...it's something you certainly deserve to have.

Edit: Fantastic song, too...thank you for sharing!!!

 

[pacergal]

I was so happy last night I started to cry. After losing Mrs Scrapr 2+ years ago I started dating. Hit it off pretty quickly. Last night we were at an outdoor concert (Keb'Mo) in a small venue. About 30 yds from the stage. Beautiful night, pretty woman next to me, good food & wine. Enjoying being back in Bend, Or. Keb'Mo starts in on Life is Beautiful. It just hit me how very lucky I am & I started crying


https://youtu.be/OI_GNu8jaSA

Lovely post and beautiful song.
Definitely a happy moment today!

 

[tmm99]

I was so happy last night I started to cry. After losing Mrs Scrapr 2+ years ago I started dating. Hit it off pretty quickly. Last night we were at an outdoor concert (Keb'Mo) in a small venue. About 30 yds from the stage. Beautiful night, pretty woman next to me, good food & wine. Enjoying being back in Bend, Or. Keb'Mo starts in on Life is Beautiful. It just hit me how very lucky I am & I started crying


https://youtu.be/OI_GNu8jaSA

How wonderful!! Thank you for sharing your story.

I feel lucky in love and in life as well, and that's a blessing.

 

[Dreamer]

I was so happy last night I started to cry. After losing Mrs Scrapr 2+ years ago I started dating. Hit it off pretty quickly. Last night we were at an outdoor concert (Keb'Mo) in a small venue. About 30 yds from the stage. Beautiful night, pretty woman next to me, good food & wine. Enjoying being back in Bend, Or. Keb'Mo starts in on Life is Beautiful. It just hit me how very lucky I am & I started crying


https://youtu.be/OI_GNu8jaSA

Wishing you much happiness.

I had never heard of the artist or the song. Beautiful. Thanks you for sharing your story and this song.

 

[teetee]

When my 97 yr old grandfather that I am staying with and providing care for during the weekends is happy then I am happy.

I rarely get happiness from my work so I will take whatever I can get.