Have you prepaid your funeral plans?

[mickeyd]

Of course not.


My parents did this and it worked out ok for them I guess, but this seems like another way for a commission/fee to be generated off of my savings/investments. My loved ones will be left with more than enough cash when my time comes to plant me in a local US military long term underground facility.

 

[gwraigty]

Depends on the family. I have never visited any relative’s grave. We have no children and even if we did, I’d prefer that they cherish memories and photos of us alive rather than keep an urn with our ashes in it.

I've barely visited relatives' graves. Shortly after my mother was interred, my grandmother talked me into buying the most expensive flower urn for my mother's grave site. It was never used. Wasted money.

I have many cherished memories of family members long gone. Putting remains in a hole in the ground and marking the area with a stone brings me no additional comfort. I feel no need to visit their grave sites.

 

[street]

I haven't did any planning yet, but I do need to. It is something I can always seem to let slide. LOL

One question if I was cremated could I still have a marker/stone at the cemetery? My wife mostly will be buried there along side her parents.

 

[Cobra9777]

DFIL died last year. Total funeral director expense was under $2K. That included transportation, cremation, death certificates, and a nice urn. We had an informal memorial service at our house a couple weeks later, which allowed time for family to fly in.

Same exact process when my parents died. DW and I have specified the same in our wills. I have nothing against traditional funerals and burials. It's just not a tradition in our family. With cremation, the cost is very low, and arrangements are ultra-simple. So I really don't see the point of prepayment.

 

[Walt34]

It sounds like a smart thing to do, but I'm curious if anyone here has prepaid their funeral plans like this?

We have not done this for ourselves but did for FIL when he went into a nursing home. His life expectancy was measured in months and this was a legitimate way to shield that expense from Medicaid.

 

[IMATERP]

My parents have their plans set “in stone.” Stepfather has worked in the funeral industry for the past 60 years. Dad wishes to be buried and Mom wants to be cremated. After funeral service bodies will be shipped north to their gravesites.

My wife and I have two plots next to my parents and we are in a similar situation. I would like to be buried and wife wants to be cremated. Since we both desire a simple memorial/graveside service, our plans are contingent on who passes first. If wifey dies first, her ashes will be buried with me. On the other hand, if I pass first - wife will occupy vacant plot.

Anyway, once my parents pass, I’ll make direct arrangements with the cemetery regarding transporting remains to the cemetery. Yes, everything will have been prepaid.

 

[Monterey298sc]

DFIL died last year. Total funeral director expense was under $2K. That included transportation, cremation, death certificates, and a nice urn. We had an informal memorial service at our house a couple weeks later, which allowed time for family to fly in.

Same exact process when my parents died. DW and I have specified the same in our wills. I have nothing against traditional funerals and burials. It's just not a tradition in our family. With cremation, the cost is very low, and arrangements are ultra-simple. So I really don't see the point of prepayment.

I would pre-pay. Cost is low now, however with cremation becoming over 50%. The cost will
and has to increase to pay overhead of funeral homes expenses. Just letting you know in advance.

 

[Cobra9777]

I would pre-pay. Cost is low now, however with cremation becoming over 50%. The cost will
and has to increase to pay overhead of funeral homes expenses. Just letting you know in advance.

Perhaps funeral homes will need to reduce their overhead expenses in response to the new mix of services that people want. Or perhaps we'll need fewer funeral homes.

I've seen direct cremation services in the $500-600 range. So even if that increased tenfold by the time I die, no one's going broke over my final expenses.

 

[braumeister]

if I was cremated could I still have a marker/stone at the cemetery? My wife mostly will be buried there along side her parents.

Certainly!

 

[Monterey298sc]

Perhaps funeral homes will need to reduce their overhead expenses in response to the new mix of services that people want. Or perhaps we'll need fewer funeral homes.

I've seen direct cremation services in the $500-600 range. So even if that increased tenfold by the time I die, no one's going broke over my final expenses.

Ok, just want to help. You will see .

 

[braumeister]

Ok, just want to help. You will see .

I think you're right, and you are definitely being helpful. Thanks for that.

In the region where I live (and it's definitely flyover country), the cost of a simple, direct cremation with absolutely no extras of any kind, from a reputable place, approaches $2K now. Add a couple hundred for a reasonably nice urn, another few hundred for a two inch obituary in the local newspaper, another few hundred for burying the ashes in a cemetery (although that can go up to a few thousand in some cases), another few hundred for a marker, and you can easily see how the whole thing can be quite painful for those who are unprepared for it.

Just my two cents.

 

[Amethyst]

I'm positive you can have most any memorial you can pay for.

I'm not sure about your second sentence. Are you saying your wife will be partly buried somewhere else? Or are you referring to her ashes? People can and do divide up loved one's ashes, to be scattered in various well-loved places.

One question if I was cremated could I still have a marker/stone at the cemetery? My wife mostly will be buried there along side her parents.

 

[Amethyst]

It is strange, isn't it? I mean, if the idea is to forestall decomposition, why not mummify the corpse, a la ancient Egypt? And (along the Egyptian theme) if people are afraid of the casket being opened, then they need to stop burying the deceased's jewelry and valuable household effects along with the deceased.

I do realize that some widely-held religious beliefs involve the corpse needing to be intact, in order to be resurrected at the last judgment. Apparently there is a heavenly board that adjudicates exemptions for amputees, etc.

I, I didn't see the point of waterproof vaults and caskets with seals? Are people afraid their corpse is going to get wet?

)

 

[street]

Certainly!

Thanks. I would like to have my name on the marker with my wife at the cemetery.

I want my ashes spread at the ranch that is where my heart is at and my love has been there over the years.

 

[Souschef]

I had prepaid for my late wife's cremation. Since we had no family and few friends, There were no services, etc. Her parents had a plot back in Pittsburgh, and I called the cemetery to ask how much to inter her ashes with her parents. .
Well, by the time they got through, it was well over $2K, and that did not include me flying back there, hotel, car, etc
My folks have a large family plot in New Jersey, but I plan to be cremated and scattered at sea in the place I scattered my late wife's ashes.

 

[MarieIG]

No at this point we don't have any plans.

We had a full service for DM; and when DF passed, I did the same for him. That was north of 14k. I didn't have that much credit on my credit card, but the funeral home took a check. Dad had a family plot in Brooklyn where both my parents were buried alongside my grandparents.

Dad wanted me to be buried in the family plot, but I don't know where DH and I are going to end up. Also, my parents wakes, especially DF's were very crowded. I doubt that is going to be an issue for us.

 

[Katsmeow]

It sounds like a smart thing to do, but I'm curious if anyone here has prepaid their funeral plans like this?

With the Medicaid issue I would definitely do what you can do for a prepaid funeral (I don't know what qualifies).

From a simplification angle I was so, so glad that my parents had back many, many years ago bought a prepaid funeral plan. It was easy for my mom when my dad died and it was easy for me when my mom died. There were a few things she had prepaid for that we didn't use (funeral home escort, for example. My mom's house was down the street from the funeral home so this was not needed). We got a refund (in 1970s dollars, alas) for those things. Still I was really glad she had done it as it limited the decisions that had to be made and I knew what I was doing was what my mom had wanted since she had chosen it.

From an economic standpoint I was also glad. Yes, she left sufficient funds to pay for it. But, even though her checking account was POD I couldn't access that until after the funeral when the death certificate came in. I could have advanced the money for the service (well, put it on my credit card) and I would have. That said -- not everyone can afford to do that.

All of that said -- DH and I haven't done anything like that ourselves. We both want a direct cremation. While we don't want a service, we have each talked that having a family party at some point to celebrate the life of the deceased might be nice. While we are both here we probably won't prepay anything. After the first one of us is gone the survivor might arrange for something just to make it easy for our kids.

The sad thing today with people doing cremation with NO permanent memorial. A place for generations to memorialize. Without a headstone it like people did not exist. Sadly when our company cremated someone 50 yrs ago and now the great grandkids want to know where there family is buried, we tell them took them home. Family is upset they can’t go see where they are buried.

For many a good permanent memorial is the one on Find A Grave.

 

[Bir48die]

My parents ashes are floating somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I hope mine are too when it's time. Outside of the cost to cremate I'm not worried about it. My wife's ashes are under a tree that was planted for her at my church. Only the kids and I know. Perfect spot to visit every week.

 

[Nemo2]

My wife's ashes are under a tree that was planted for her at my church. .

Some of my late wife's ashes are here, Blank, some in the Colorado River, and some her mom put in the 'Family Plot'.

 

[pb4uski]

.... I ran the ash distribution option by the kids, they are adamantly opposed claiming they want a place to go. Little do they know that about 3 years after our passing their lives will be too full for visitation.

For my Dad we did both. He died in March and we had a small memorial service that was just Mom, us kids and his friends and golf buddies in Florida where he was living at the time. He was cremated and "flew" home with me from Florida in sealed plastic bag in a cardboard box that was about 7"x7"x7" as I recall. Then we had a larger memorial service in July in Vermont where he grew up and lived most of his adult life with all the family and friends.

Most of the ashes are in a urn that is buried at the family gravesite. Interestingly, the cemetery considers an urn as only using 1/2 of a plot... a casket uses a whole plot. We did reserve some ashes that were scattered on the lake where their lakeside home is located.

I do occasionally stop by the family plot... my dad, grandfather and infant daughter are buried there and DW and I will be buried there along with an aunt and uncle. A close friend and neighbor's plot is right next to ours and DW's parents' plot is about 50' away.

 

[KM]

I was in a similar situation....POA for my mother when she went into assisted living. She had about 7 years of $$ left. My plan was to wait until she had about 1-1.5 years left and then pre-pay. That’s because in our state, you can pre-pay the funeral at any point and it doesn’t count towards Medicaid. In fact, they encourage it when you apply. As it turned out, my mother passed away about 4 months before I had planned to go down and pre-pay.

It’s my understanding (and it seems logical, although I’m sure someone more in the business can provide better insight)....that prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment. I’m sure the price is based on age and expected longevity....it is, after all, an insurance policy. Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?

 

[Teacher Terry]

My husband is a veteran so he gets a free spot and mine will be 400. We chose cremation but you can be buried there too. They also give you a nice plaque. Cremation can be done here for 500. We will each have a celebration of life. Traditional Funerals are ridiculously expensive and not worth it.

 

[mountainsoft]

prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment... Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?

Hmm... I haven't been able to find any mention of prepaying costing more. I would think the opposite as inflation increases prices over time.

In any case, you don't really know if you have 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years unless you're having some kind of health issue with an estimated life span.

Prepaying would really simplify things when mom finally dies. All plans are made and all bills are paid. Sounds nice when there will be so many other things to worry about.

 

[Monterey298sc]

I was in a similar situation....POA for my mother when she went into assisted living. She had about 7 years of $$ left. My plan was to wait until she had about 1-1.5 years left and then pre-pay. That’s because in our state, you can pre-pay the funeral at any point and it doesn’t count towards Medicaid. In fact, they encourage it when you apply. As it turned out, my mother passed away about 4 months before I had planned to go down and pre-pay.

It’s my understanding (and it seems logical, although I’m sure someone more in the business can provide better insight)....that prepaid funerals are more expensive than funerals paid at the moment. I’m sure the price is based on age and expected longevity....it is, after all, an insurance policy. Hence pre-paying a funeral you expect to happen within a year or do makes sense. Just not sure I’d pay one 5-10 years out?

You are incorrect. How it works example. You pre-pay 20 years ago and we placed money in insurance company used only by FH. The insurance pays about 2% growth on policy that funeral home is allowed to keep the growth, that is only way we can freeze price for family. Family NEVER pays a dime more for funeral home costs. We CAN NOT FREEZE out of funeral home cost such as cemetery, newspaper obit, minister fee, death Certificates, ect. Because we never know how much they will increase over time, however if you pay current cost for them, just pay the increase at the time of death. Very simple .

 

[Scuba]

We addressed it differently. Neither of us wants or expects a funeral with casket, viewing, body burial, gravestone, etc., although funds for a modest memorial service are accounted for in our Wills.



We are registered organ donors, and also registered with the State Board that oversees cadaver donations to medical schools, etc.



So, any parts that can be used, will go to those who can use them. Anything unusable will be cremated, not at our estate's expense.

Ditto. The only expense we will have is if our family/friends choose to have a memorial service to scatter our ashes, which will be funded if so from our estate.