holiday spending

[laurence]

Waitstaff? Bartenders? Whoa, we cook it all ourselves, hit smart and final/costco for the booze, and set it out buffet style! It would be fun to have it done up like that, but I expect we'd have to spend a lot more than we are comfortable with! The pictures alone are worth it, but I'd get in trouble if I posted any here...

 

[peteyperson]

Eagle 43 said: 

I don't wanna be a killjoy here by mentioning something like this, but holidays can really eat up the cash. This is a place where Billy and I rely a lot on our own personal creativity. By the time we buy all the doo-dads, all the matching colors, and all the foo-fahs, these types of events can easily add up to 3 figures. 

Has anyone here ever figured out how much a certan holiday has cost them? (I don't mean just presents...) but all the trimmings? 

I do apologize if anyone thinks I'm out of line here...       yet this is a perfect example of where to put money aside for later. Instead of spending, say, $300, why not just spend $250 and bank the rest? No one will suffer from the savings of those $50 bucks..  8) (will they?)

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

Hey Ak.,

I find with regard to presents that it is good to remember that people rarely recall what you bought them last year, let alone the year before. Ask them and see! They have to really think about it! Also, I think going large on the cost of the present doesn't make a different to the recollection either. The $40 vs the $20, etc. It may be that going too cheap is remembered as being "tight," but other than that I don't see spending up as a great idea for either party.

The other really big thing is the shopping for the present. Most people - especially women I'm sad to say - want to have fun shopping for Xmas presents. This leads people (not just women) to buy things that they would like for themselves, and forgot the purpose. The purpose should be to buy what the other person would love, regardless of whether YOU like it! I've had girlfriends refuse to buy me a movie or a CD or something because they deemed it "boring," even though it was what *I* would have loved and appreciated at the time. They instead bought me an article of clothing *they* liked but I was not exactly crazy about. Clothing is always a problem item to buy from someone if they are not with you at the time!

So those are the biggies. I try to always remember that.

Petey

 

[Ginger]

Went on line yesterday to shop for the grandchildren. While they were here last week, I tried to really find out what they wanted and would be fun. For holiday cards, we send out about 65 cards and I start the beginning of November and write out a few each evening. I like keeping in touch with family and friends at the holidays and love receiving cards and pictures...

 

[Outtahere]

This leads people (not just women) to buy things that they would like for themselves, and forgot the purpose. The purpose should be to buy what the other person would love, regardless of whether YOU like it!

That drives me crazy!! I wanted a bread machine for years, dh knew this but until we stayed with friends and he saw it was something HE would enjoy too he NEVER would have bought me one. Holiday/birthday gift buying is stressful for me because I try to find just the right gift for that person. GCs have lessened that stress and that's what I give unless I find just the right item.

 

[Billy]

Laurence:

Waitstaff?  Bartenders? Whoa, we cook it all ourselves, hit smart and final/costco for the booze, and set it out buffet style!  It would be fun to have it done up like that, but I expect we'd have to spend a lot more than we are comfortable with!  The pictures alone are worth it, but I'd get in trouble if I posted any here...

 

Laurence, I have to admit, we were having way too much fun and things were getting outta hand..  8)  Since we owned a restaurant at the time, we did do a lot of the cooking ourselves... but we decided to change our focus and retire early. We had to make mindset changes.. I bet your photos are *priceless~!*
Petey and Outtahere:

I've had girlfriends refuse to buy me a movie or a CD or something because they deemed it "boring," even though it was what *I* would have loved and appreciated at the time. They instead bought me an article of clothing *they* liked but I was not exactly crazy about.
.....That drives me crazy!!  I wanted a bread machine for years.....

I don't know why this concept is hard to understand.. a gift is for the other person!    I love wish lists... bingo! a fabulous gift with no thinking about it.

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

 

[Michael Moore]

Wish lists seem like "want" lists, and you may as well just give a person the cash and let them get what they want and otherwise stay out of the process.

If I've got to buy someone a gift, I'd rather it be something that showed that I put some thought into what they might like. That doesn't mean it has to be hugely expensive - I've picked up things off of eBay/in used book stores for $15-20 that were very much appreciated as they fit into the hobbies/interests of the person receiving the gift.

cheers,
Michael

 

[justin]

Wish lists seem like "want" lists, and you may as well just give a person the cash and let them get what they want and otherwise stay out of the process.

I disgree with you on this. Assuming a sufficiently large wish list, the person receiving gifts won't get everything they wished for, so the stuff they do get will be a surprise. I know I would not appreciate a gift I wanted any less than a well thought out gift.

 

[TromboneAl]

Concerning Wish Lists...

I hate wasted gifts.  For example, yesterday someone gave me a brand new 2006 Movie guide as a belated birthday gift.  Includes reviews and info on movies.  For me, it's totally wasted, since I use www.RottenTomatoes.com.  Nice thought, but a waste of money.

To help avoid this, I got everyone in my family to fill out the "Gift Information Sheet" below.  The result: It didn't really make any difference.

Gift Information Sheet


Name
Date
Hat Size
Shirt or Blouse Size
Dress Size
Pants Size
Waist
Glove Size
Ears Pierced?
Shoe Size
General Gift Preferences



Color Preferences:
Please Avoid...

 

[REWahoo]

To help avoid this, I got everyone in my family to fill out the "Gift Information Sheet" below.

Good grief, Al. No wonder your daughter couldn't wait to leave home.

Out of curiosity, would you mind showing us the beaver's sheet?

 

[deserat]

Great subject and one that comes up on many other frugal sites as well - I'm guilty of the Xmas card frenzy - because I've lived away from family and friends for so long, I enjoy sending a card with a small message and recap of the year and then I always write something personal. I also enjoy hearing from them. As for the rest of the holiday, pretty much nothing...or just small gifts of home baked cookies or jam or something like that. While I was in Europe, I purchased some generic gift items that I can use in a pinch - tea towels, ceramic mugs, scarves, etc - always practical.

As for the other holidays - don't celebrate those as well - for decorating the house, have old Xmas stuff that I inherited with just a few new things I've picked up over the years - frankly it is such a pain to get the boxes down and re-decorate and then un-decorate, I'm not enthused. Most years, I've been away and haven't bothered to do any decorating except the stocking hanging up.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday - I'm usually at someone else's house and will bring something to eat for the table. I buy gourds and winter squashes at the market and use those in bowls to decorate (and eventually eat) for decoration during fall.

I don't do Halloween - candy or anything - and I don't decorate for any other holidays....so, long story short, the main expenditure is the Xmas cards

Bridget

 

[HFWR]

I decorate minimally for the winter holidays (hey, I'm agnostic), and send a few cards to family and old/close friends. Don't decorate for any other "holiday"...

I like to choose gifts that indicate I gave it some thought, but what do you buy for folks who "have everything"?

Walmart gift cards!!

 

[SteveR]

We were going to do the bare minimum this year for decorations.  Now her parents are coming to stay for a week and suddenly the house has to be fully decked out.    That required 2 full days of lights, tree, and many many other things scattered all over the house. 

Gifts are going to be less than last year and we have already made that know.  The grandkids will still be spoiled but that is what they are for. 

We try to get lists by nobody seems able or willing to do this so they get whatever we pick out.  It is hard to know what someone already has and that is why I like lists.  DW is not a problem.....she drops hints that even I can understand.   

 

[Nords]

That required 2 full days of lights, tree, and many many other things scattered all over the house. 

Am I the only one who's developed a completely different image in my brain than perhaps SteveR was communicating?

 

[shiny]

Akaisha ~ you were worried about bringing up this topic with us?!? I tried to bring it up with my sister and felt like the Grinch.

Ever since I've had nieces and nephews I've gotten them Christmas presents, but we are having a population explosion in our families (T AL would be appalled) and since I don't have any children it is a big PITA to figure out what is cool for kids in every age group. This year I'm doing gift cards, but I'm seriously considering phasing out these gifts. We do I-bonds for birthdays, I'd really like to leave it there.

 

[Michael Moore]

Hi Justin,

A wish list just sounds like "gimme" to me. I had plenty of gimme lists as a kid, usually at least one of everything I saw advertised on the tube. It didn't keep me from getting socks though.

A gift should be an expression of appreciation, and most of the (insert favorite gifting holiday/event here> gift activity I see in society just doesn't really appear to me to meet that criterion. There's the mutual guilt giving (I can't stand Fred, and he hates me, but if I don't give him something I'll not hear the end of it from the others at the party, and I suppose I'll have to tell him how much I appreciate whatever piece of crap he's able to pick out of a dumpster AGAIN) and the generall one-upmanship giving (Susie is giving Mom a a set of snake knives, so I've GOT to show that I'm Mom's favorite by getting the zizzing and dripping tropical fish) and so on.

What should be a pleasurable activity (doing something nice for someone because you like them) seems to be a source of stress and anguish for a lot of people.

If I need/want something, I'd rather just go ahead and buy it myself and start using it right away. Handing someone a "gift card" doesn't seem much different than "here Joe, have a sawbuck".

If someone NEEDS something, and you want to help them out, then they probably NEED it now and why wait to help them until some specific holiday event? That sounds more like charity than a personal gift anyway.

A gift should have an element of the "personal touch", and my preference would be that there also be at least a hint of frivolity involved in the process. Giving a gift to someone ought to be fun for all parties in the transaction, not some ritual duty carried out because it is expected.

cheers,
Michael

 

[Billy]

Shiny:

Akaisha ~ you were worried about bringing up this topic with us?!?  I tried to bring it up with my sister and felt like the Grinch.

Oh I know.. don't you hate that?     Actually, I love buying gifts. The part I don't like is having to do it during a certain calendar frame. Of course, it's usually the other person's calendar frame! For us, we are usually not there at that time, or wrapped up in another country's calendar (Chinese New Year, Thai New Year, or Loi Krathong, or King's Coronation Day...) to realize that somehow I have disappointed someone 9,000 miles away because something was expected and didn't happen...    
It just got to be too much. Shoot. I don't even know what day it is! That was never important to me...   I know, I'm weird.

Now I just buy presents and bring them back to folks when I see them. Could be July or October or February.

I find a lot of personal freedom in 'not fitting in...'     Doesn't mean I don't care...

The Other Michael

There's the mutual guilt giving (I can't stand Fred, and he hates me,) ....and the generall one-upmanship giving ....Giving a gift to someone ought to be fun for all parties in the transaction, not some ritual duty carried out because it is expected.

Egg-zack-ly.  I have all the fun of gift giving without any of the imposed guilt/rules, YAY!  These mental confinements were part of the 'heavy baggage' I dropped in our Early Retirement. (Now if I could just get rid of those extra 8 pounds...)

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

 

[justin]

We were going to do the bare minimum this year for decorations. Now her parents are coming to stay for a week and suddenly the house has to be fully decked out. That required 2 full days of lights, tree, and many many other things scattered all over the house.

So now I know how long it takes to decorate a 6100 SF Mcmansion!


Other Michael,

If I need/want something, I'd rather just go ahead and buy it myself and start using it right away. Handing someone a "gift card" doesn't seem much different than "here Joe, have a sawbuck".

I feel the same way, but I'd rather receive a gift card than a 2nd or 3rd toaster or a sweatshirt (I don't wear sweatshirts) that is 2 sizes too big or too small. I may end up returning the gift I don't want, and get a gift card for the balance refund. In the end, I have to spend an extra 30 minutes to go to a store that I never shop at, return the unwanted item, and then be forced to spend the money at that store. In reality, I'll stick the unwanted item somewhere and eventually throw it away or give it to someone else (not as a gift, just to get rid of it).

I guess I dislike "waste". I know the unwanted gifts I mentioned don't reflect a great deal of thought on behalf of the gift giver, but that is the reality of most gifts from those other than your immediate family (in my experience at least).

A gift card does require thought. Where does the gift recipient shop? What do they usually buy? What kind of person are they? Do they have anything they want to buy at a particular store or kind of store?

Example: I received a $50 gift card as a wedding gift last year. It was for a Williams Sonoma/Pottery Barn type of store. We never shop at places like that (for obvious reasons). We used it, but a gift card to Target or walmart would have been more to our liking.

Example: Bro in law wants a table saw ($200-300). We want to give him a big gift, but not that big. How about a $50 or $100 GC to home depot or Lowe’s hardware? Appropriate. A $100 GC to linens-n-things? He’d look at it and go “what the hell”? Where’s my real gift? When we give him the GC to the hardware store, we can tell him it is for his table saw.

 

[Outtahere]

Justin

That's the way I look at GCs, there is thought involved and the actual going to that place to purchase the GC which takes effort. I appreciate them more than I do the gift I'll have to return or never wear/use. The older my family gets the more they enjoy the Gift Cards, grandfather gets one to Petco and loves it, parents get resturants they enjoy dining at, teenage children get mall giftcards. Everyone goes home happy and 9 out of 10 times the next time I see any of those people they make it a point to tell me how they spent their GC.

 

[justin]

Justin

That's the way I look at GCs, there is thought involved and the actual going to that place to purchase the GC which takes effort. I appreciate them more than I do the gift I'll have to return or never wear/use. The older my family gets the more they enjoy the Gift Cards, grandfather gets one to Petco and loves it, parents get resturants they enjoy dining at, teenage children get mall giftcards. Everyone goes home happy and 9 out of 10 times the next time I see any of those people they make it a point to tell me how they spent their GC.

Exactly. If someone gave me a GC to, say, Ruth's Chris Steak house, I'd appreciate it. Never been due to the expense. I'd like to try it once, and the GC would force me to try it. But I'd like that.

 

[TromboneAl]

-

 

[sgeeeee]

Gold digging beaver.

 

[TromboneAl]

-

 

[Sheryl]

We get a lot of GC's to restaurants, and really appreciate that. We wouldn't ever go out to so many nice places with our own money.

 

[SteveR]

We get a lot of GC's to restaurants, and really appreciate that.  We wouldn't ever go out to so many nice places with our own money.   

I like to get GCs too. We got several as wedding presents and it was great. We got stuff no one else would ever have known we needed (wanted) and got to eat out at some places we would never have taken a chance on with our own $$.

We are going to give more GCs this Christmas than ever before. Besides, it saves on wrapping paper.

 

[Sarah in SC]

We asked all our family on both sides to give us GC for Home Depot a few years ago for Christmas and used them all along with some sort of special offer from HD to buy a refrigerator. We paid $5.15 total for the fridge (retail $685). I'm still pleased at the idea! A 71 yr old woman I work with says I am the most frugal person she has ever met. I took it as a compliment.
No tree, no decorations, I buy books on Amazon for everyone in our family and put a fair amount of thought into the selection. I hate shopping, period.
Sarah