How do you answer the “what do you do?” question when most people your age are still

[stepford]

This came up a lot at my recent 40th HS reunion.



My usual answer: "I'm a bum"


Might as well own it.

 

[Singletrack]

I retired from running a middle market company at the end of 2013, and have done some pretty extensive consulting over the last several years (corporate finance, leadership, etc.). I'm winding down quickly, and these retirement questions are beginning to flare up.

I do what some others suggested by saying that "I run a couple of small investment companies - family office type situations." That usually appeases them, but if they inquire further, I say that the family offices are very private and under the radar. Most people understand. Truth be told, these "investment companies" are our own investment LLCs that we created for asset protection.

 

[Dtail]

I still like the questions about being too young to retire. I size up the person in question and make up the response on the spot trying to be the least harmful response.

 

[brucethebroker]

DW suggested "tell them you are a private money manager". (our private money).

 

[friar1610]

I retired for good at 58 after having retired from the Navy at 51. Whether answering questions during several months off after the Navy or after retiring for good, I've always said "retired Navy". That seemed to satisfy everyone because it's generally expected that military folks retire "young". Given my current age (73) I think my general appearance is sufficient explanation for anyone.

 

[davebarnes]

Executive producer of porn films. Oh, sorry—adult entertainment videos.
Drug dealer.
Arms merchant.
Still working for the KGB as a sleeper agent.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

DH has always gotten a kick out of saying he was retired. I used to say I work at home as it prevented jealous responses. I did do some part-time work at home initially so it was true. But now I just say I'm retired as well because I find if people are jealous that really is their issue, not mine. We live in a high cost of living area so we are still kind of anomalies being retired at our ages. Even though we meet the minimum age limits to be in the local senior clubs in practice most of the other members are a fair bit older and we do get teased about being the youngsters.

 

[HadEnuff]

I don't find that question nearly as troublesome as when DW comes home from visiting her aging relatives and asks the other question:

"So, Honey, what DID you do today?"

"eh...uh....well...wait??...what?..."

 

[jollystomper]

Best 2 answers I have heard to the question "What do you do?"



1) "Anything I want"


2) "Make me an offer"

 

[38Chevy454]

I say the truth, "I am retired". Never have really gotten anyone that pressed the finance questions. Most common second question is what did I retire from, and I say the truth again "I was an engineer". If they get more in depth as to what kind of engineer, I either use the stand-by "Nuclear Rocket Scientist" and they laugh and it stops the detailed questions. Or I will say "Welding Engineer" which is someting I can talk detail about if really needed. But the truth is closer to NRS answer.

 

[ocean view]

I never give a truthful answer to anyone coming to work on my house. For example I was chatting with the paint contractor who was preparing an estimate for our job. When he asked, I gave a generic “work from home” answer. My concern is that they’ll think they can jack up their bid since I must be rich enough to retire early.

 

[MissMolly]

I honestly don't understand why anyone is reluctant to just say "I'm retired". I get the feeling that some people feel ashamed of that fact. Why? I wanted (and still want) to shout it from the rooftops. It is a milestone in life that, generally speaking, most people aspire to achieve, but not everyone is able to achieve. So why try to cover it up with fake titles? Be proud of your accomplishment. And if you are able to do it in your 50's or 40's or whatever, even more reason to pat yourself on the back. It shows you worked hard and made some good choices in your life. If others don't "get" that then phooey on them. Who cares? Did you ask for/need their approval while you were working and saving? No? Then why would you need it now? It's your life.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I honestly don't understand why anyone is reluctant to just say "I'm retired". I get the feeling that some people feel ashamed of that fact. Why? I wanted (and still want) to shout it from the rooftops. It is a milestone in life that, generally speaking, most people aspire to achieve, but not everyone is able to achieve. So why try to cover it up with fake titles? Be proud of your accomplishment. And if you are able to do it in your 50's or 40's or whatever, even more reason to pat yourself on the back. It shows you worked hard and made some good choices in your life. If others don't "get" that then phooey on them. Who cares? Did you ask for/need their approval while you were working and saving? No? Then why would you need it now? It's your life.

I will answer your question with a post I made in response to a similar question (another thread)...basically, I don't want to toot my own horn.

I am coming up on almost 4 years of being retired and have had different thoughts on my "identity" to others. For the most part, when you meet new people, the odds of them asking you "what do you do?" is about 100%. When you are in your 40s and not wo*king, if you tell folks "retired", it will almost certainly raise an eyebrow. Personally, do I care what people think about me? Well, no...but it can be a very uncomfortable feeling...well, at least for me. Then, add in the fact that my DW has chosen to continue to w*rk...well you don't have to be very smart to know that the reactions tend to be EVEN WORSE. Hell, you see it here on this very forum from members that I respect. In many of those peoples eyes..if you don't w*rk, and your spouse does, that just means you are actually a stay at home spouse, or even worse, just a slacker.

When I was still in Atlanta (we have recently moved) most of the folks that I associated with knew of my retirement status, so the "what do you do" question didn't really come up that much. However, now that we are moved and busy figuring out what we are doing home buying/building wise, I have had to meet a LOT of new people and when the question of "what do you do" comes up, I really cringe. Sure, it shouldn't bother me, but I don't want to lie but I don't want the awkwardness of the truth, either. I know I am rambling, but I just wanted to make the point that identity can be a tough thing when society puts a VERY HIGH value on your vocation.

 

[Bamaman]

I was very young for my age when I retired at 58 ten years ago. I would usually just say I retired after 36 years of hard work (in an office mostly.)

Come to find out, there are very few of the people I grew up with that even worked to 62 years of age. At 68, I only know of one guy working that's my age.

 

[mamadogmamacat]

Have not gotten a response I consider negative or contemptuous at all ever. Been retired for almost three yrs Got out at 55. i usually answer first with a twinkle in my eye: "as little as possible". Then if there is confusion, I explain i retired early. Sometimes there will be questions about from what, although most people in my Church and volunteer social circles already know what I did while working. Rarely any question about finances. If there is one, it is more informational than skeptical. So, I usually refer them to this forum.

 

[Montecfo]

I don't find that question nearly as troublesome as when DW comes home from visiting her aging relatives and asks the other question:

"So, Honey, what DID you do today?"

"eh...uh....well...wait??...what?..."

My wife is still working full-time so I try to always have a couple of things I have done at the ready. Often they are things that help her out so never get the sideways glance.

 

[HadEnuff]

My wife is still working full-time so I try to always have a couple of things I have done at the ready. Often they are things that help her out so never get the sideways glance.

Excellent strategy, and one I employed when DW was still working and I was not, and in fact, I still try to get at least one thing done every day. Well, I did that up until I ruptured my achilles tendon in August. However, now, while not fully healed or fully functional, there are things I can do, and I am having to remind myself that there is no reason I can't do at least 1 or 2 things every day...

It turns out that being a total slacker comes easily to me.

 

[donheff]

I retied at 56 and used to get "You are too young to retire" all the time. I never felt any negativity in the comment, more of a compliment. Now I don't get any ER feedback but I do get the "no way you are 70" response. A different version on the same theme.

I also never had much of a problem with the financial question. It was usually some variant on "how in the world can you afford it?" My response was "we LBYM'ed and saved like hell." Occasionally I would get more detailed questions on how to determine the number. portfolio allocations, and the like. I would explain how I evaluated expenses, built a diversified portfolio of index funds, SWR studies, etc. I always talked in terms of my understanding of generic best practices and never made specific recommendations since I didn't want to own someone else's problems.

 

[ER Eddie]

I honestly don't understand why anyone is reluctant to just say "I'm retired". I get the feeling that some people feel ashamed of that fact. Why? I wanted (and still want) to shout it from the rooftops. It is a milestone in life that, generally speaking, most people aspire to achieve, but not everyone is able to achieve. So why try to cover it up with fake titles? Be proud of your accomplishment. And if you are able to do it in your 50's or 40's or whatever, even more reason to pat yourself on the back. It shows you worked hard and made some good choices in your life. If others don't "get" that then phooey on them. Who cares? Did you ask for/need their approval while you were working and saving? No? Then why would you need it now? It's your life.

I think it's partly because there are still negative connotations to the word "retirement." For some people, that means you're no longer a productive member of society. You're done, washed up, out to pasture. Just yesterday I heard someone say that one of the three leading causes of death is retirement. These attitudes are still out there.

So I expect that one reason people are shy about just saying they're "retired" is that their anxious that the other person will make some of those interpretations.

But I agree with you. If that's what they think, that's their issue.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I sold my small business at age 50, after building it for 31 years. (I'm now 53) I moved 350 miles away because many people in my old hometown would be resentful that I made enough money "off of them" to ER.


I keep a low profile in my new hometown and volunteer a great deal, if the topic comes up I tell people I sold my business and have a 10 year commitment to consult, and can do it from here. Most say "good for you".


My good friends who have known me tell me that I crammed 40 years of work into 30, and that's why I can ER, they're happy for me. They also know I've sacrificed standard of living for many years to ER.


The only people who look down on me for my ER would be DW's family. I know this because they've told me to my face. I haven't talked to them in 2 years, and they don't talk to DW anymore either. We get along better this way.

 

[jollystomper]

I honestly don't understand why anyone is reluctant to just say "I'm retired". I get the feeling that some people feel ashamed of that fact. Why? I wanted (and still want) to shout it from the rooftops. It is a milestone in life that, generally speaking, most people aspire to achieve, but not everyone is able to achieve.

The problem can be that some who are unable to achieve it resent the fact that you have. Their worldview is "how did you get lucky and I did not?" Particularly if, from their perception, your lifestyle remains the same, or looks like it has gotten better.

I think it's partly because there are still negative connotations to the word "retirement." For some people, that means you're no longer a productive member of society. You're done, washed up, out to pasture.

In addition, some feel that not only are you not productive, but you are now a drag on society, consuming but not giving anything back. Getting discounts, holding on to things that they believe you no longer need, getting an "entitlement" (SS) that they feel you do not need, etc.

 

[pb4uski]

It took me about 6 months to become comfortable telling people that I was retired (I retired at 56). I think some of becoming more comfortable was that once I retired I began hanging our more with other people who were retired, skiing or playing golf or whatever.

I still get a bit uncomfortable saying that I'm retired in front of other people my age or older who are still working.

Interestingly, I have yet to have someone directly ask me how I was able to retire at such a young age (relatively anyway)... and that is becoming less likely now that I am 63 and more of an age where people often retire.

 

[Dtail]

It took me about 6 months to become comfortable telling people that I was retired (I retired at 56). I think some of becoming more comfortable was that once I retired I began hanging our more with other people who were retired, skiing or playing golf or whatever.

I still get a bit uncomfortable saying that I'm retired in front of other people my age or older who are still working.

Interestingly, I have yet to have someone directly ask me how I was able to retire at such a young age (relatively anyway)... and that is becoming less likely now that I am 63 and more of an age where people often retire.

Bolded - +1 especially for example with the people who assist in bagging at Publix who ask me how am I doing today.

 

[Scuba]

I have no problem saying I retired at 56. Early, but not nearly as early as many others. No one has asked me directly how we did it, but a couple of people made comments about being lucky or their being envious. I just say we worked hard, lived below our means, and invested well. I also say that we were fortunate to have good jobs. No one has ever pried for details. When asked what we do with our time, my first answer is “whatever we want!” Then I tell them that what they may have heard about retirement is true - you’ll wonder how you ever found time to work! Between exercise, travel, volunteer work and projects around the house, there is plenty to keep us busy.

I think most people are very happy for us. Some may be envious, but that’s not our concern.

 

[Beldar]

What do you do?

Whatever I want, it's always Saturday.


Seriously, that's what I try to say. It usually gets a laugh and enviable acknowledgement, not that I really care. But it's an honest answer.

_B