Just for the Women

[FlaGator]

Are there any guys reading this??

I am, and with great interest.......

Late DW was very early perimenopausal before chemo spiked it, so I have little understanding of the challenges, treatments, etc.

Fiance is late 50's and on HRT, but that's all I know, just haven't gotten into that specific health discussion yet (she lives many, many miles away).

I really appreciate the sharing of experiences and intimate details. I want to be a supportive partner for the Beautiful Princess and being better informed will make it easier for me to do so, if/when she has these symptoms.

My thanks to all the participants for their candor.

 

[tmm99]

I started getting PACs (Premature Atrial Contractions) in perimenopause. They triggered tachycardia episodes where my heart rate would jump to around 220 bpm for typically 30-40 seconds. Turned out I had an "accessory pathway" in my heart, which caused a feedback loop that made it race. Apparently, I'd had that pathway my whole life, but it didn't get triggered until mid-life. Oh, what frailties are revealed when youthful waters do recede!

They discovered my PVC problem a long time ago (in my 20’s). It is what it is. It keeps it at bay with magnesium but too much caffeine (just more than one cup of green tea!) can start it up again!

 

[Amethyst]

Plenty were already here, I'm sure. I mean, we did have an ED - I mean, a Viagra thread a while back, so the taboos are slowly but surely getting worn away.

OMG you just invited them in!!!

 

[ugeauxgirl]

We’re here to learn. Medical advice is always appreciated.

I have to admit I learned quite a few things from that guys only thread a while back...

 

[Katsmeow]

I am one of the lucky ones who never had a hot flash or night sweats, for some reason. Thank heavens for that. I have known enough rational, objective, logical scientists who had these symptoms, so I know they are very real and not "all in the head" as some guys might think. My sympathies to those suffering with them.

Me either. I mention this just to say that there is a real range of experiences. I started going through this in my early 40s and was done by my mid-40s. I never had any symptoms of anything. I was overweight during all that. Years later, when I was well past this, I lost over 60 pounds so it is possible to lose weight after menopause.

I know without any doubt that many people do have terrible symptoms and I don't question that at all. But, I often felt like real outlier in that when I went through menopause nothing happened except I didn't menstruate any more. Doctors are always asking me for date of menopause and it was such a non-event that I can't really remember exactly when it was....

 

[Vacation4us]

Menopause took the pleasure out of sex but knowing how important this part of our relationship was to my husband I managed until I couldn't any longer. Astroglide literally is a marriage saver. Throw out the gel.

Since I am not inclined to talk about the deed it was problematic getting this point across. I finally laid it on the line. Happy wife, happy life. We are in a much better place now. Lights on, my face is no longer contorted in agony.

 

[Vacation4us]

PS I am ok with the men reading and knowing it's not just in her "our" head.

 

[Amethyst]

Being able to wear white jeans and shorts without fear has been a gift, too. I used to have to throw them away when an accident occurred, as it invariably would eventually.

Me either. I mention this just to say that there is a real range of experiences. I started going through this in my early 40s and was done by my mid-40s. I never had any symptoms of anything. I was overweight during all that. Years later, when I was well past this, I lost over 60 pounds so it is possible to lose weight after menopause.

I know without any doubt that many people do have terrible symptoms and I don't question that at all. But, I often felt like real outlier in that when I went through menopause nothing happened except I didn't menstruate any more. Doctors are always asking me for date of menopause and it was such a non-event that I can't really remember exactly when it was....

 

[Joylush]

Bioidentical hormones worked wonders for me. And the best lube ever is coconut oil.

 

[sturbridge]

For those of you who reported increased anxiety- did it get better over time?

I don't normally struggle much with anxiety EXCEPT if I wake up in the 2-3am hour. Then my brain reviews everything I've ever done wrong in my life, all the things I could have done differently, and anxiety about the future. I sure am hoping this goes away in time.

 

[audreyh1]

For those of you who reported increased anxiety- did it get better over time?
I don't normally struggle much with anxiety EXCEPT if I wake up in the 2-3am hour. Then my brain reviews everything I've ever done wrong in my life, all the things I could have done differently, and anxiety about the future. I sure am hoping this goes away in time.

I found that progesterone (bioidentical) absolutely took care of this common perimenopause/menopause symptom, and I'm still on it.

It also helps with suddenly waking in the middle of the night.

 

[gwraigty]

For those of you who reported increased anxiety- did it get better over time?

I don't normally struggle much with anxiety EXCEPT if I wake up in the 2-3am hour. Then my brain reviews everything I've ever done wrong in my life, all the things I could have done differently, and anxiety about the future. I sure am hoping this goes away in time.

I didn't experience increased anxiety. I found myself feeling sad more, in ways that I knew weren't really "me". Yes, it did pass. The physical symptoms came on before the emotional symptoms. The emotional symptoms passed before the physical symptoms. I could feel light at the end of the tunnel before I reached the end. I even felt that I was going to be a stronger, better version of the person I had been before.

 

[4legsgood]

Since I've always had insomnia, stress, night sweats, if I had any menopausal symptoms they blended in with my norm. Menopause was good news. I've always hated periods, as painful, messy, inconvenient, expensive potentially unhealthful products in my body, and occasional embarrassing situations. For all the downside that we experience, there really is an upside at the end - no more periods! Kinda wish I'd done the no period pill in my younger days, but wasn't considered norm then. I'd recommend that to my daughter for sure, if she ever asked for my opinion .

 

[aja8888]

Are there any guys reading this??

A lot more interesting that the Tesla thread......

(While I have not ever gone through menopause myself, I have felt some of the spinoff results of it )

 

[Amethyst]

Yeah, we have come a long way from pretending, to men, that menstruation and menopause don't actually exist.

I was fortunate to marry a man who really likes women, and doesn't find anything about us to be embarrassing or unmentionable, but I was expected to pretend (around my dad) that I was going to be a period-less virgin forever.

 

[SpinDoctorTX]

I have been going through menopause for 12 years now. Starting at 47 and now 59. I can go weeks without anything happening then all of a sudden for several months I have several hot flashes several times a day. I have not taken anything for them. Seems like everything has side affects and I take 3 prescription meds a day already.

I have recently lost 40 pounds, watch what I eat and none of this has made any differences to my "Hot flashes." I volunteer with a friend who is 72 and she still has lots of hot flashes. You can literally see them on her face when she has them. She turns beat red in her face and starts sweating.

I am just glad that my hot flashes are not that bad. I have learned to live with them and hope they slow down in the next couple of years.

I can relate to all of that- started at 49 and almost 59 now. Ugh. The description of your friend's experience is mine exactly! I call my flashes melt-downs, as when they occur, it literally does feel like I'm melting into a pool of sweat. I hope they will someday go away completely, but at least they have dissipated somewhat during the past few years.

 

[SpinDoctorTX]

All this talk of hot flashes, but no one has mentioned meno-fog! Do others have this issue? This is what makes me crazy. Where did my ability to form words go? Or recall that the object in front of me is an apple?

Oh, yes- I do have that issue! It is super annoying.

 

[iloveyoga]

What helped me....yoga, very thin clothing, my own bedroom with a ceiling fan, cold drinks, and I would lay an ice pack on myself when needed.

 

[W2R]

For those of you who reported increased anxiety- did it get better over time?

I don't normally struggle much with anxiety EXCEPT if I wake up in the 2-3am hour. Then my brain reviews everything I've ever done wrong in my life, all the things I could have done differently, and anxiety about the future. I sure am hoping this goes away in time.

I have kind of a similar problem, but it only happens when I am trying to go to sleep (it doesn't awaken me). In my case, it is just due to being high strung and having a hard time winding down. I am sure that it was not caused by menopause because I have had this issue for my whole life, not just after menopause.

What helps me is to get out of bed, go do something else that will get my mind on other (presumably more pleasant) thoughts, and then after an hour or two of doing that I can go to bed with no problems. I don't know if that would work for you but it might be worth trying, anyway, if you have not already done so.

 

[athena53]

This is going to be too much information but what worked for me besides lots of lube is a lot more sex .It seems to awaken what little hormone is still there .

I've found that, too- same with extended foreplay. It must bring more blood and hormones to the area.

And I'm OK with men knowing all of this; the good ones will want to know what works and what's absolutely painful!

 

[Aerides]

same with extended foreplay....
And I'm OK with men knowing all of this

So we should explain then, by extended foreplay you mean:

A) cooked dinner and/or cleared dishes
B) watched a movie with you and cuddled for a bit
C) brushed/flossed/mouth-washed before bed
D) and then the parts they are already thinking

 

[simple girl]

So we should explain then, by extended foreplay you mean:

A) cooked dinner and/or cleared dishes
B) watched a movie with you and cuddled for a bit
C) brushed/flossed/mouth-washed before bed
D) and then the parts they are already thinking

 

[Silver]

C) brushed/flossed/mouth-washed mouth before bed


INDEED! An often underappreciated aspect of foreplay. Perhaps by both sexes.....
Good hygiene is always the basis of good sex.

 

[Moemg]

I've found that, too- same with extended foreplay. It must bring more blood and hormones to the area.

And I'm OK with men knowing all of this; the good ones will want to know what works and what's absolutely painful!

How long is extended foreplay ? I have a short attention span .

 

[Amethyst]

Perhaps some of the engineers have timed it, and have graphs to share?

How long is extended foreplay ? I have a short attention span .