Okay - Who Has a Marriage Bio???

[Souschef]

I wonder if marriage is easier when the couple is young and "growing together" or older and presumably more self-aware.

My vote is for older. Both DW and I lost our spouses 14 years ago. We both know what loss is, and have learned to overlook minor irritations.
Our relationship can be described by an instance when we were first married 11 years ago.
She had just finished cooking a great dinner, and I suggested she go sit on the porch while I cleaned up. She looked up and said,"There is a God"

 

[Ronstar]

. DW is fastidious in housekeeping.

I was told yesterday to not leave fingerprints on the kitchen cabinet door knobs. I am somewhat of a slob that sometimes gets on a cleaning\organizing kick whenever I need to find something. DW is not really a neat freak, but she has some quirks of neatness - the cabinet door knob deal, clothes have to be hung on hangers perfectly and in the same direction, towels have to be hung so that tags do not show, etc.

As for job descriptions, she is the cook (except outside grilling/smoking), the cleaner, the maker of appointments, the mail getter/reviewer, and the liaison for social outings.

I am the home repair\maintenance man, landscaper, finance guy, auto mechanic on simple tasks, griller, furniture maker as needed, and driver.

 

[W2R]

I was told yesterday to not leave fingerprints on the kitchen cabinet door knobs. I am somewhat of a slob that sometimes gets on a cleaning\organizing kick whenever I need to find something. DW is not really a neat freak, but she has some quirks of neatness - the cabinet door knob deal, clothes have to be hung on hangers perfectly and in the same direction, towels have to be hung so that tags do not show, etc.

IMO those are not quirks of neatness; that is just how things are supposed to be done! OK, maybe one could still survive with clothes facing random directions on the hangers but it just doesn't seem right, somehow...

 

[FireBug]

My marriage bio is all of two words.

"Yes, dear."

Mine, Thank god she took me.

 

[ElizabethT]

So, let me get this straight. You guys are griping about your better halves on a public forum? And then inviting the rest of us to join you?

No way, man. I have nothing to complain about. Right dear?

I was with you until your last sentence. Guys gotta gripe I guess?

 

[CRLLS]

DW is the CEO of the inside of the house. I am allowed to manage the garage space/mess. I think I do a fairly good job of tending to the mechanical equipment of the house. The yardwork is split. She does the flower gardens. I get the car maintenance, lawn maintenance. That is if I can get her off the lawn tractor. She likes doing that.

I'd give myself a solid C+ or B- when it comes to me doing things inside the house when asked. Probably a C- or D+ on self initiated tasks. She is less than adequate at changing oil in the yard equipment, patching tires, auto restoration and generally anything that has to do with stuff done in the garage.

We've been married now 46 yrs and each have our own idiosyncrasies. We've found our way to peaceful co-existence. If asked if she will remarry if/when I leave this world 1st, she will say that she is too old to train another husband.

 

[Fireup2020]

I returned to our home in February after being stationed in another state for the past 3.5 years with regular visits from him...we are in the midst of getting used to living TOGETHER again <3 ...all our housekeeping "quirks" are getting a makeover!! Fortunately these things are all first world problems at best! I immediately reorganized the kitchen to MY way...and we both keep asking each other where things are these days

 

[mountainsoft]

My wife and I have been married 32 years. For the last 25 she has earned most of our income and I have been the stereotypical house husband. I run my own home based business, but I have never earned much money doing it.

I do most of the cooking, cleaning, finances, retirement planning, vacation planning, yard work, auto repairs, home maintenance, and various DIY projects. She usually does the laundry, but I often pick up those responsibilities if she doesn't have time to get to it.

She tends to be a clutter-bug and a procrastinator. I tend to be an organizer and a neat freak. She gets unhappy if I try to clean up her messes, so it has taken me many years to learn not to touch her piles. Still, there I are times I can't help myself and have to organize her disorganized collection of papers or whatnot, even though I wouldn't dare throw out stuff that's clearly garbage. Been there, done that, won't do that again.

 

[kgtest]

My job description is all the fun stuff that only needs doing once in a while and DW's job description is all the drudgery tasks that need done every day. Or so I'm told.

Lol +1, isn't this status quo?


DW is CEO (majority shareholder and therefore voting rights that outnumber me), I am CFO
DW is Chef, I am Sous Chef
DW is more operations, whereas I am heave in the maintenance dept

DW is Mom, I am dad

 

[Teacher Terry]

This is my 3rd marriage and we have been together 20 years. My 2nd husband was good at sharing household tasks, never had to be reminded to do things but was a controlling verbally abusive ass. Currently my husband is sweet, kind, funny and I love his company. I am neat and he is messy including his car. I let him be messy in his office, garage and shed. I do everything inside and he does home maintain, remodeling, yard work. I also do finances and vacation planning. I also take care of the dogs but I am the one who wanted them. He will care for them if I am gone or sick.

 

[Bestwifeever]

All I ask is that DH deal with vermin alive or dead, garbage, and putting up with me—he thinks the third thing is the most difficult.

 

[Huston55]

All I ask is that DH deal with vermin alive or dead, garbage, and putting up with me—he thinks the third thing is the most difficult.

Your avatar name is well deserved!

 

[Dtail]

I handle all the finances, vacation planning, most of the laundry, half the cooking and cleaning.
I suppose I will handle most of the house DIY projects where I can (am not particularly handy).
I guess she really is the Queen of Tampa. haha

 

[travelover]

DW allows me to load the dishwasher, but I'm not allowed to unload it. Apparently I put stuff away never to be found again.

 

[Dtail]

DW allows me to load the dishwasher, but I'm not allowed to unload it. Apparently I put stuff away never to be found again.

That can be a technique for reducing your workload. You might be crafty enough to pull that off. (I say that with respect for your comedic talents).

 

[Walt34]

That can be a technique for reducing your workload.

I learned that at a very early age. Around age eight or so my mother insisted that I would, just like my sisters, learn to wash, dry, and put away dinnerware. After I dropped and broke three or four plates I was once again relegated to chores that were either outside or involved virtually indestructible objects, like taking out the trash.

Dumb like a fox, I was.

 

[Koolau]

Interesting. I recall years of sitting at the break table at w*rk with both men and women. Guys virtually never complained about their wives and girls did little but complain about their husbands. I don't mean to suggest this is universal, just my experience (just sayin'.) I always figured it was an ego thing with guys. Admitting that their wife wasn't perfect perhaps reflected on the guy. Who knows. BUT with the relative anonymity of this forum, there is ONE thing that bugs me about DW. When ever I do a task (with her or not) which each of us is "capable" of doing, she does my work over. It could be hanging up clothes after laundry, it could be the dishes, it could be putting away groceries, etc. etc.

Now, I can accept that there might be one "right" way to do something. I can even accept that there is a "her" way of doing something. What bothers me is that there is NO "right" or "her" way that I could possibly learn because next time, the "right" or "her" way will be different. Just venting (ever so slightly) so YMMV.

 

[sengsational]

I skimmed a few of the posts here, but I wont' participate, and it's not because I'm afraid DW would see the post either, hehe!


I just believe in ignoring things that might tend to bother me. Maybe "ignoring" is not right. Let's just say not focusing on them. It's human nature and instinct to focus on problems to "fix", but that doesn't make for the most pleasant life. With a little bit of thought, you can find dozens of things that are positive. Stop after that. No "but..."

"Do you want to be less angry? Be less aware." Anger often starts from noticing too many subtleties of the way others interact with us. In many cases, we'd do better not to notice the slights and microaggressions that can drive us nuts if we let them. One can will oneself to ignore such things—a practice many long-married couples will instantly recognize!

From an interview with James Romm

 

[Red Badger]

I skimmed a few of the posts here, but I wont' participate, and it's not because I'm afraid DW would see the post either, hehe!


I just believe in ignoring things that might tend to bother me. Maybe "ignoring" is not right. Let's just say not focusing on them. It's human nature and instinct to focus on problems to "fix", but that doesn't make for the most pleasant life. With a little bit of thought, you can find dozens of things that are positive. Stop after that. No "but..."

OP here. My post was really in the spirit of sharing my life and space with my best friend and someone I dearly love. And, as I alluded to, I am more than guilty of leaving a trail of flotsam around the house and grounds that she contends with; mostly in silence - - - mostly.

Like any long term relationship, ours tends to be smooth and well-oiled with mutual respect, trust, and tolerance. I definitely "married up" and thank God for that blessing every day. There are times when a little grit gets in the gears of our relationship. It tends to pass swiftly without any real damage. I think that most of the comments on this thread were of like nature (light hearted, harmless, truthful).

Neither of us tends to be overly serious about the others quirks, habits, or nuances. One of us ain't getting out alive. The other gets to rake all the chips off of the table. Best to leaves lots of blue ones behind, regardless of the cards being held...

 

[robnplunder]

So, I was putzing in the garage as DW pulled into the driveway. I waved for her to stop instead of pulling into the garage. She readily complied. I walked over and explained that I was tidying up after having the water neater replaced yesterday.

So she cuts off he car and I return to the tasks at hand... Then, I hear a "ker-plunk." I pay no mind, and DW is off to the door and inside.

I glance to the driveway and there's an empty water bottle about 5 feet from her chariot. The implied task here is for me to retrieve it and place it in the recycle bin (the one she walked within a few feet of as she went in the house).

Interesting side-bar. DW is fastidious in housekeeping. Her chariot? Untidy and cluttered (less one water bottle for the moment). Garden tools and supplies also park where last used. I can put them away, mow around them, or perhaps paint them where they lie. But lie they shall.

I am not upset, it was just an epiphany. I'm sure DW could author a compendium (in about 5 nanoseconds) of my deflected tasks that she performs on my behalf.

Anyhoo, any takers on a bio (or job description) for your situation? Litter control and outdoor tidiness would be annotated on my domestic documents. Not sure how my annual reviews would stack up...

We are the opposite. For the life of me, I can't help leave things around where I can't find them the next time I need them. DW gets annoyed and nags about it more than I can bear. But bear I do b/c she has the longevity gene and I don't. She will change my diaphers when dementia overtake my life ... so I hope.

 

[davismills]

When I got married, my father said that the sooner you give up the better your life will be. For 27 years, this has proven to be excellent advice.

 

[sengsational]

RB, I like the gear analogy. Light hearted ribbing is probably healthier than burying something as it reminds the partners that nobody's perfect. Humor is essential. I also like the "nobody's going to get out alive", hehe!

 

[catii]

I'm lucky! Wife & I are both engineers, & we simply do those tasks/chores that we prefer. She enjoys, for example, checking our cars' water/oil/tire pressure, while I enjoy seeing how much carpet I can vacuum before our Dyson vacuum runs out of charge. No discussion - we just do it, & have been for over 40 great years!

 

[LBrowning]

I can't say this is universally true; just my observation. My OCD goes haywire if I don't neatly coil cables, wires, hoses, etc. and neatly put them away. If DW even touches one, it immediately snarls and tangles itself and she doesn't mind at all. I truly believe she could jump from a plane with an extension cord and it would catch on something on the way down.

 

[klscaz]

I glance to the driveway and there's an empty water bottle about 5 feet from her chariot. The implied task here is for me to retrieve it and place it in the recycle bin (the one she walked within a few feet of as she went in the house).

I'm sure it just fell out of the messy car. I doubt that she dropped it on purpose for you to pick up.