Q: Worst part of your j*b?

brewer12345 said:
It would be easier to just think about the money if I weren't already well above the portfolio balance goal I set for myself to hit and check out 4/1/14.
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Sounds like you are ready to FIRE. Why not pack it in now?

To state the obvious: there is no reason to gut it out for another 10 months if you hate the job and don't need the money. Especially if you're overworked and paid 30% below market.
 
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We hear pretty much daily the drumbeat of needing to control costs, reduce expenses, etc. Travel on fairly critical jobs is being restricted. Yet I turned on my blackberry this morning to find that they are flying an HR creature from the head office to my branch location to do the following mandatory training:

Peacock in the Land of Penguins will be presented by XXXX on Tuesday, XXXXin the XXXX Room. This class presents a two-fold approach to enhancing critical thinking skills and working with diverse teams. Participants will review several types of creative and critical thinking concepts. Through practical application, they will see how these concepts can enhance their work. The class also will focus on discussing ways each employee’s diverse background can add value. Using an assessment, participants will determine which type of "bird" they are and how their skills can positively impact the organization
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I think I am losing my mind.
 
I had a similar experience yesterday. The company that acquired us didn't really acquire all of us. Some of the minority shareholders are holding out for more than the rest got. So we're operating under a quasi-owned status. About a month ago, we were all instructed to start the new company's new employee training, an online course with 450 interactive slides and several quizzes along the way. (I've been spending about 4-5 minutes per slide. One of them even had an 8 minute video on it. These aren't slides you read in 20 seconds and move onto the next page. Some of them have "doors" that you open to popup more detailed info, etc.) After six or seven sessions, I'm roughly a third of the way through the course.

Yesterday, we all got a blast email informing us that we've been unsubscribed from the course (by our own request, so the email claimed!), and that if we changed our mind we could do the course using the public (rather than company-internal) version, but we wouldn't receive any credit for taking the course nor would receive the certificate of completion at the end.

I'm just waiting for them to ding me on a future performance appraisal for not having a certificate showing I did the course.
 
OMG. I was hoping you were making that up, but it appears to be a real program. From one description of the book, "Includes an expanded ''Tips and Tools for Teaching Penguins to Fly'' section with additional practical exercises, self-quizzes, resources, tips, and survival strategies for peacocks and penguins alike." It goes on from there.

I suppose this book goes on the shelf next to "Who Moved my Cheese?" and all the other HR fads.
 
Peacock in the Land of Penguins will be presented by XXXX on Tuesday, XXXXin the XXXX Room. This class presents a two-fold approach to enhancing critical thinking skills and working with diverse teams. Participants will review several types of creative and critical thinking concepts. Through practical application, they will see how these concepts can enhance their work. The class also will focus on discussing ways each employee’s diverse background can add value. Using an assessment, participants will determine which type of "bird" they are and how their skills can positively impact the organization
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All you're missing is this guy...

1131875.jpg
 
This thread somewhat reminds me of that old joke about the question asked in a big corporation:whether sleeping with your boss/supervosor's wife was a pleasure or just plain work......
 
brewer12345 said:
We hear pretty much daily the drumbeat of needing to control costs, reduce expenses, etc. Travel on fairly critical jobs is being restricted. Yet I turned on my blackberry this morning to find that they are flying an HR creature from the head office to my branch location to do the following mandatory training:



I think I am losing my mind.
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OMG, you need to get out of there! That is insane!
 
Onward said:
Bwaaaaahaahaaaaaa!
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I'd like to think of myself as an elephant seal among penguins, but the truth is probably closer to a buzzard. Like them, I relish picking over the bones for value and like buzzards my first reaction to threats is to crap on teh would be attacker if I cannot fly away.
 
Wow that's special. I thought I had seen every kinda stupid at Megacorp, but they never got that "sick".

The sad part is some poor schmuck actually thinks this is useful. If you could find out who they are, maybe we could sell them some beachfront property here in MO.

MRG
 
Sarah in SC said:
Peacocks and Penguins? For crying out loud! Just tell them you are a pigeon and leave it at that!
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Plop, plop, plop, right into the BS bucket. Birds, not bulls, but still . . . .

As a former college instructor turned HR creature for a short while, I had to make people sit through all kinds of mandatory compliance training. That's what this is, I imagine: legally required diversity training to keep the company in compliance with someone or other.
 
After being retired for a few years, I sort of forgotten most worst parts but will always remember the worst useless direct boss! That to me is the worst part of my entire career. Give an ignorant person a bit of power and that's how one gets a monster.
 
Brewer, you need to patiently attend the workshop. About a minute into it, raise your hand, interrupt the speaker, and ask in a loud but polite manner "What if you are neither a penguin nor a peacock but a dodo? Pretty sure there are some around here".
 
As pathetic as it is, I will be on the road that day attending a meeting that is bad enough that would rather be in the chickenshit seminar.
 
We had one of those all day training and half the people decided to call in sick.
 
Well it doesn't sound like from the description that they have those god-awful role-plays.
 
We have a saying for that: "It's hard to soar with the eagles if you are surrounded by turkeys."

brewer12345 said:
We hear pretty much daily the drumbeat of needing to control costs, reduce expenses, etc. Travel on fairly critical jobs is being restricted. Yet I turned on my blackberry this morning to find that they are flying an HR creature from the head office to my branch location to do the following mandatory training:



I think I am losing my mind.
Click to expand...
 
Does the exercise involve eating peyote and reading Castenada?
 
brewer12345 said:
Peacock in the Land of Penguins will be presented by XXXX on Tuesday, XXXXin the XXXX Room. This class presents a two-fold approach to enhancing critical thinking skills and working with diverse teams. Participants will review several types of creative and critical thinking concepts. Through practical application, they will see how these concepts can enhance their work. The class also will focus on discussing ways each employee’s diverse background can add value. Using an assessment, participants will determine which type of "bird" they are and how their skills can positively impact the organization
Click to expand...

The presenter must be a seagull. Flies over, makes a lot of noise, shits on everything, then flies off.
 
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