Requiring Spouse to Work?

[DeborahB]

It seems like something you and your SO have to work out. I think I'd resent working at a hard job I disliked and watching my SO do something he enjoyed. Actually, since I'm retired, and my SO is working for himself... I think sometimes he expects me to do all this additional stuff since I'm not working - but I worked hard so I could retire and NOT do extra housework or whatever. If I want to read a novel all day, I'm okay with that.

When you have two people with different goals it is always hard. When you have two people who want different levels of home maintenance (us) it's pretty stressful too. So I guess you need to be sure that you and your SO are on the same page in terms of long-term goals to retire early (or whatever) and he understands what affect his income - or lack of it - will mean....

Just my two cents. It's hard. Luckily you're young enough that you have some time to reach your goals. Meanwhile... work on the discussion.

The poster who said to talk about your SO's goals is right, also - maybe his goals are different than you think.

Good luck!

 

[youbet]

My point is that expecting both parents to work a set schedule once the kids are in school may not go as planned.

That is what grand parents are for!

Signed,

Grandpa

 

[haha]

That is what grand parents are for!

Signed,

Grandpa

That is how I see it too. No matter how many trips to Europe or Asia you take, once you are retired, finding meaningful social roles is not automatic. Helping with grandchildren has worked for 10s of thousands of years, so this is a time tested winner.

Ha

 

[tessaduncan]

When I was pregnant with my first, Mom made it clear she "had raised her kids and I would have to raise my own". She loved her grandkids and treated them well but she was "Grandma", not a sitter although she & Dad did 'sit' a handful of times per year. And they were both retired, healthy (at first) non-travelers. (In-laws were too far away to be much help)

 

[REWahoo]

When I was pregnant with my first, Mom made it clear she "had raised her kids and I would have to raise my own". She loved her grandkids and treated them well but she was "Grandma", not a sitter...

Your mom was very wise to establish ground rules up front. Avoids all sorts of unnecessary family drama.