Some of you may remember...

[Getyoung]

So sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences to you.

 

[Franklin]

so deeply sorry for your loss. It seems impossible to even fathom loosing a spouse of so many years. Good memories will keep you strong. I pray God will walk you thru the process.

 

[Toast]

I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you peace as you mourn your dear wife.

 

[iloveyoga]

I am very sorry for the loss of your dear wife.

 

[ejman]

aja8888 so very sorry for your loss. Big virtual hug your way.

 

[MC Rider]

Very sad to hear. Be well and take care of yourself.

 

[RobbieB]

Very sorry too, just sucks.

Hit me like a hammer, just sat and cried a lot and the only comfort I got was from my dog who missed her too and heard me weeping and came and sat with me.

Yeah, sucks.

 

[Chuckanut]

My heart aches for you. I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like.

 

[lauradrops]

So very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace moving forward.

 

[aja8888]

Thanks for all the good thoughts, suggestions and private messages. It's been a help today getting feedback and some good ideas. You are a great group of people and so helpful and kind in your responses.

 

[Lucie]

My condolences to Aja and Tadpole, and all those who have lost a loved one this past year.

As someone mentioned, don’t worry about being productive or make decisions right now. Focus on the basics of eating, sleeping and self care, no matter how difficult this may be. Hopefully you have a good support system, which is essential.

 

[old medic]

Our deepest condolences to you for your loss. Look locally or even online for a support group.

 

[wearefinishedworking]

Oh my yes, I did follow your story about your dear wife and I am so sorry to hear this. My sympathies to you.

 

[Telly]

So sad, aja. I really wish you the best. I don't have any useful advice to give.

 

[Kabowest]

I read more than I post, but have read your past posts in regards to your dear wife. So sorry to hear the news.

 

[street]

I'm very sorry to hear this. My deepest sympathy and condolences to You and your Family. I wish you strength in your journey going forward.

 

[Phroig]

I’m very sorry for your loss, Aja8888.

 

[Sojourner]

Really sorry for your loss, aja. My condolences.

“Those we have held in our arms for a short while, we hold in our hearts forever.” - Anonymous

 

[ivinsfan]

So sorry for your loss and it's so new and overwhelming. I have noticed many times what a devoted caretaker you were to your wife. Always caring for her, no whining, no complaining just compassion. Care taking is hard work that leaves little or no time for the care giver. In my several stints of care taking split between several decades I know care taking gives and takes away at the same time. It gives us compassion and active serving for others and yet it can be overwhelming ,stressful, and soul sucking .


I remember when my DH has his surgery event, upon release they made the comment for every day you spent in the hospital count that as a one week you will need to get back to feeling more physically and emotionally normal. The same might well be said for extended intense care taking.



So AJA... set yourself a slow and steady pace with no pressure no expectations. Just let yourself rest, heal and remember the good times when you can. Will everyday be a step forward, no it won't but at some point you will have more good days then bad. I have had several difficult losses this year and like your DW they involved extended illness and hardship. As a person of faith I have repeated this verse to myself many times, to comfort me that my loved ones are now at peace and without pain.



Luke 23:43 ESV

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”...




May today be a good day for you.

 

[aja8888]

So sorry for your loss and it's so new and overwhelming. I have noticed many times what a devoted caretaker you were to your wife. Always caring for her, no whining, no complaining just compassion. Care taking is hard work that leaves little or no time for the care giver. In my several stints of care taking split between several decades I know care taking gives and takes away at the same time. It gives us compassion and active serving for others and yet it can be overwhelming ,stressful, and soul sucking .


I remember when my DH has his surgery event, upon release they made the comment for every day you spent in the hospital count that as a one week you will need to get back to feeling more physically and emotionally normal. The same might well be said for extended intense care taking.



So AJA... set yourself a slow and steady pace with no pressure no expectations. Just let yourself rest, heal and remember the good times when you can. Will everyday be a step forward, no it won't but at some point you will have more good days then bad. I have had several difficult losses this year and like your DW they involved extended illness and hardship. As a person of faith I have repeated this verse to myself many times, to comfort me that my loved ones are now at peace and without pain.



Luke 23:43 ESV

And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.”...




May today be a good day for you.

Thank you...

 

[Christine]

Aja8888 - I'm so sorry for you. It must be such a great loss!

 

[FIYes]

Aja, your love and care for your wife have come through in your posts. My condolences to you.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

You have my condolences. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[target2019]

Thanks for all the kind thoughts, condolences and timely advice. Some of your messages brought tears to my eyes again. I never thought a grown old guy could cry so much, but I surprised myself. Our children appear to have been handling this crisis better than me and that’s been a help to me.

Lean on your children and friends as much as you need.

In time you'll find the big place in memory where she dwells.

Peace.

 

[Dtail]

Aja
So sorry for your loss. It was clear that you loved your wife deeply.
My DGF is my best friend and can't imagine life without her.
Lean on your ROMEO group and you have your ER family here to help you through.