Strategies for living (and focusing less on money)

[JustCurious]

Jay, I have some of the same feelings. I try to strike a balance between LBYM and living for the moment, and sometimes I think I go to far with LBYM. It's a constant struggle to get the right balance between working towards financial security and living for the moment.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

Jay, you are who you are. Unless you're talking about having fallen off the edge or reached some manic extreme, try not to worry about it.

You're a little more focused on a specific life style than I would be comfortable with. I enjoy quiet time at home, cooking/grilling for DW and myself, listening to music, reading, etc., as you do. But DW and I have rediscovered how much we enjoy live music, plays and group activities like canoe/kayak trips.

So, for us, it's about balancing quiet time alone with time spent enjoying live entertainment or group activities. We enjoy both and a focus on only one wouldn't work for us. But, as you are who you are; we are who we are.

No manic extremes here, just a little touch of "it feels like life is passing me by". Being someone who LBYM, money is always in the forefront of my mind. Otherwise, I might succumb to the peer pressure of those around me. Thus, it's difficult not to blame LBYM for getting in the way of enjoying life.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

Jay, I have some of the same feelings. I try to strike a balance between LBYM and living for the moment, and sometimes I think I go to far with LBYM. It's a constant struggle to get the right balance between working towards financial security and living for the moment.

Thanks for the kind words. As my previous post indicates, I'm struggling with balancing LBYM with "living". The question is really one of the degree to which I should be LBYM. Maybe it's time to stop seeing how much I can save (versus how much I could spend), and simply set an annual/monthly savings target.

 

[runchman]

I would much rather stay home, cook for myself, read a good book, watch a movie from Netflix or surf the 'Net.

It could just be too that you happen to most enjoy activities that don't cost much (or any) money.

Nothing wrong with that !!

Maybe you need to make your peace with that, and realize that the 'gadgets' that others are blowing their money on isn't what gives happiness. A good book, quiet night at home... what more does one need?

 

[FinanceDude]

Thanks for the kind words. As my previous post indicates, I'm struggling with balancing LBYM with "living". The question is really one of the degree to which I should be LBYM. Maybe it's time to stop seeing how much I can save (versus how much I could spend), and simply set an annual/monthly savings target.

Spend 50% of your take-home on "FIRE plans", and spend the other 50% after tax on FUN...........problem solved............

 

[Nords]

Does your library have p0rn in large quantities? Mine doesn't.
(To say nothing of donkey shows, youtube vids of everything under the sun, white supremacist and communist party manifestos, etc.)

What exactly do you spend all day analyzing the finances of? And why would you ever want to ER?!?

This reminds me of the fuss over DVD formats & digital rights management. I heard on local radio last week that the movie industry (theater screens) sold $3 billion worth of tickets last year-- its biggest year ever. Millions are being spent arguing over how to handle the subsequent distribution of DVDs and broadband downloads.

Meanwhile the adult video industry had a somewhat lackluster year with an estimated $21 billion in revenues-- at least the revenues that the taxing authorities were told about.

I think that the theaters should stop screwing around with their money and leave that business to the real professionals... and it ain't gonna be Wal-Mart or Disney helping to set the industry standards.

 

[youbet]

"it feels like life is passing me by".

It's passing us all by Jay.

It could very well be, as others have suggested, that your tastes and desires naturally follow a path of low/no cost LBYM activities. But maybe, and because you're having the feelings that you're having, there are some activities/interests you'd enjoy but are denying because they don't 100% comply with the LBYM lifestyle.

You know how to do the math. Would a hundred bux a month additional spending materially interfere with you FIRE plans?

Succumb to a little peer pressure. If you don't enjoy whatever it is you try, don't worry about it. Just another life experience.

My Mom, a share cropper's daughter from Mulberry, Arkansas, told me more than once to "have a little fun now, you'll be dead a long time."

Yep, life is passing us all by Jay!

 

[humandraydel]

I look at everything from the perspective of what it costs, and always ask myself the question "do I really need" whatever it is. Invariably, the answer is "no", and so I go on my less-than-merry way.

I agree with others - you should set aside some amount to blow on whatever you want. Once it's in the budget it makes it much more enjoyable to spend on whatever you want knowing that you can afford it.

Now, that being said, I agree with you on the fact that dinner at a restaurant quite often feels like I'm not getting my money's worth. In the end I've decided that I'd rather spend that money some other way - but the key is that I DO spend the money. I just make sure it's on things that I will really enjoy.

 

[Spanky]

Now, that being said, I agree with you on the fact that dinner at a restaurant quite often feels like I'm not getting my money's worth.

How about going a Chinese buffet place? For $7, you'll get a meal of over 50 dishes, drinks and dessert are also included.

In the end I've decided that I'd rather spend that money some other way - but the key is that I DO spend the money. I just make sure it's on things that I will really enjoy.

How about a Lexus LS600hl?

 

[deserat]

Oooh - I understand about analyzing what things spend and definitely about restaurants - we just went to one after our hike yesterday and decided it was horrible and not worth it - however, we wouldn't have known unless we'd tried it -lesson learned. It's funny because my husband asks to go out to dinner every now and then and I thumbs down due to the fact I like my cooking and don't want to spend money on something I won't enjoy - or even take the risk, sometimes.

That being said, we do try to have fun and spend some money = all work and no play makes us dull....

Deserat

 

[haha]

My Mom, a share cropper's daughter from Mulberry, Arkansas, told me more than once to "have a little fun now, you'll be dead a long time."

My Dad was the same. He'd say, "Try to have some fun every day."

I was the same with my kids. Ever night I'd ask them- what was the yuckiest thing that happened today? And what was the most fun? Then we’d try to figure out if we could work together to increase the fun and decrease the yuck.

God knows there will always be toil and trouble, pain and suffering. By seeking fun we can stand the rest without needing to be dead drunk all the time. Though even that can help from time to time.

Ha

 

[kaudrey]

Yes, I am an introvert, even though I can be quite charming and engaging in social settings. Nevertheless, I find discussions about people's cars, houses, exotic vacations, who they know (important/famous) and how important they think their jobs/careers are, to be a tremendous waste of my time.

-----

Hmmm...well, I would say you should find friends with common interests. My friends and I don't talk about things like this...however, as an introvert, maybe that's not what you want to do? Still, might be worth it to find groups that share your interests.

Also, I think setting a target savings amount is a great idea. That's what I have done (as have many others here, I can see). Then I spend the rest on fun stuff.

 

[TromboneAl]

Now, that being said, I agree with you on the fact that dinner at a restaurant quite often feels like I'm not getting my money's worth. In the end I've decided that I'd rather spend that money some other way - but the key is that I DO spend the money. I just make sure it's on things that I will really enjoy.

One way to handle this dilemma is on a case-by-case basis. Would I rather spend this $50 on dinner and a movie, or be able to retire 3 days sooner.

How about going a Chinese buffet place? For $7, you'll get a meal of over 50 dishes, drinks and dessert are also included.

This is where the frugality issue collides with the calorie issue.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

Hmmm...well, I would say you should find friends with common interests. My friends and I don't talk about things like this...however, as an introvert, maybe that's not what you want to do? Still, might be worth it to find groups that share your interests.

Also, I think setting a target savings amount is a great idea. That's what I have done (as have many others here, I can see). Then I spend the rest on fun stuff.

Good advice. I need to get out a bit more, as it seems more and more that I'm simply in a rut and am using LBYM as a focal point for my life.

 

[bow-tie]

At risk of sounding incredibly boring, I recently spent 50 bones on two nice trees through the power company for our acreage. I thought it was 50 bucks well spent, far better than most dinners out on the town...

I guess it all depends on what floats your boat. I find myself always looking for ways to not spend money, but I have to admit I got a lot of mileage out the those trees, and I'll drop another 50 bucks the next time around.

 

[janeeyre]

I guess I go to restaurants for socializing or for a purpose other than food--- (my book group, meeting up with old coworkers, after the gym, etc). Now, that you guys have mentioned it, I definitely don't go there for the food.

So, how do you meet up with friends? Where do you go?

 

[Khan]

So, how do you meet up with friends? Where do you go?

I don't.

 

[janeeyre]

I don't.

Are you saying you don't go to restaurants or you don't meet up with friends, etc.?

 

[Khan]

Are you saying you don't go to restaurants or you don't meet up with friends, etc.?

Don't do either more than once a year or so.

I did go to a retirement lunch back in December '06; and my own retirement lunch in February '05.

 

[janeeyre]

Women seem to meet their friends for lunch or dinner a lot more often than men do. I still meet with frie nds from elementary school every other month and we can sit, talk, and laugh for hours. My husband never does that kind of stuff.

 

[haha]

Women seem to meet their friends for lunch or dinner a lot more often than men do. I still meet with frie nds from elementary school every other month and we can sit, talk, and laugh for hours. My husband never does that kind of stuff.

We men could better our lives if we could copy your habits in this regard, as well as some others!

I like to go out in a group for a meal or a drink, but it is usually mixed sex. You are right that men don't do it that much unless there is some business to be done.

Young guys hang out together more, play pool, watch games etc.

Ha

 

[W2R]

Women seem to meet their friends for lunch or dinner a lot more often than men do. I still meet with friends from elementary school every other month and we can sit, talk, and laugh for hours. My husband never does that kind of stuff.

Neither do I. I work hard during the week and really don't have time to do more than eat lunch at my desk. On the weekends, I have some time but I prefer to eat out with Frank. I don't spend time with anyone right now that I knew ten years ago, much less in elementary school.

I think about them from time to time - - does that count?

 

[mathjak107]

How about going a Chinese buffet place? For $7, you'll get a meal of over 50 dishes, drinks and dessert are also included.

How about a Lexus LS600hl?

hmmmm the one near me has a sign "LET US WOK YOUR DOG"

 

[Sandy]

hmmmm the one near me has a sign "LET US WOK YOUR DOG"

Excuse me sir, can you please describe the the special the of the day?

Oh my! Culture clash - someone needs to tell them this is NOT a good marketing slogan!

But funny.

 

[kcowan]

When I was working, lunches were almost always for business. Now retired, I meet with various old friends at lunch. This is more for sanity than any networking reason although opportunities do arise even though not the primary purpose. Usually these meeting tend to be 1:1 except for reunions (every 2 months and once a year weekend away).