Too old to drive

[W2R]

I've never been in an accident while behind the wheel. I've never had anybody tell me, "watch out!" or "didn't you see that car?", "look out for that pedestrian!" etc. Never. That's because I'm a very careful and responsible driver. Also I've never been stopped by a cop for erratic driving. But, apparently I'm secretly too old to drive.

My optometrist and ophthalmologist both say my vision is easily good enough to drive.

However the Office of Motor Vehicles thinks differently. Early in June, I went in to renew my driver's license. But, I flunked their vision test so they gave me a form to be signed by my optometrist or ophthalmologist quantifying and attesting to exactly what my visual capabilities are.

To stay on the safe side, I had an exam with both and got some glasses that I probably won't need (over $300 total). The optometrist signed the OMV form saying my vision is good enough with glasses to drive. The ophthalmologist said there is nothing physically wrong with my eyes.

So, basically my vision is fine.

At first this really burned me up (seriously bad case of Irish temper ) but really I planned to stop driving anyway in maybe 5 years or so since I'm 75 by now. So I'm only losing a few years of driving. Trying hard not to be insulted and furious. Like I told the lady at the OMV, I know she's just doing her job (I didn't tell her the part about how I think this stinks). On the way home, I read all the street signs to Frank before he could even read them.

I'm going to give my 2009 Venza to Frank. It's only got 38K miles on it.

Did I mention he's not only the sweetest guy ever to live on God's green earth, but also my guardian angel? He told me very sincerely that he'll drive me wherever I need to go for the rest of my life, and that he isn't going anywhere.

I'd imagine that will grow old for him, and as poet Robert Burns said: “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley.” , so I also downloaded the Uber app.

Like many of the older forum members here, I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's when having a car and a license was EVERYTHING to teenagers. Oh well, as the song goes, "she'll have fun, fun, fun until Daddy takes the T-bird away". Or in my case, "she had fun, fun, fun until the govt took her license away".

 

[Ian S]

So we're you trying to pass the test without glasses?

 

[Aerides]

I flunked their vision test

This could be many things, unrelated to age. For example, since she was 22, my sister is legally blind in one eye so her license requires her to have a contact in it when driving.

Many folks with poor vision are similarly required to wear glasses to drive.

As far as your test though, since your eye doc says you're fine, but you flunked in the DMV, perhaps there were other conditions that day that impacted the test? On my last one, bored waiting for the 45 minutes or so before my appointment, I was scrolling on my phone for most of it. My eyes take a while to correct for distance when I do that for a while. I had to fudge my way through the last line on one eye with some good guessing and hoping. The bright interior lighting of those offices (or dark, whatever) might also be a factor.

And for your actual comfort, if you feel fine driving, perhaps reconsider? The issues I see around here with folks "too old" to drive aren't erratic driving, but overly cautious. Overly slow, you can see they are terrified when you pass them. Those are the folks who should seriously hand over the keys.

 

[aja8888]

My DW (@75 years old) failed the road driving test three times here in Texas AFTER she passed the visual test. They gave her the new license anyway!. But I never let her drive again.

Me, I'm still good to go at 79 3/4 and I just completed a 4,000+ mile East Coast round trip in my little SUV alone.

Sorry to hear the decision, W2R. That's like giving up the TV remote for a guy!

 

[ERD50]

I'm confused. You said:

they gave me a form to be signed by my optometrist or ophthalmologist quantifying and attesting to exactly what my visual capabilities are.

The optometrist signed the OMV form saying my vision is good enough with glasses to drive. The ophthalmologist said there is nothing physically wrong with my eyes.

So what's the problem? Are refusing to wear the glasses while driving?

-ERD50

 

[W2R]

So we're you trying to pass the test without glasses?

Yes, the first time (on June 13th); no, I was wearing glasses today.

 

[Sunset]

I drive with glasses.

Since you were prescribed glasses, obviously you do need them. Leave them in the car if you don't want to wear them in regular life.

I've seen young folks every now and then squinting and wrinkling up their face really hard to read something in the distance that I can easily read with my glasses. In many cases I attribute it to them not wanting to wear glasses.
I was like that for a while, until I got over it.

A few weeks ago a 94 yr fellow told me he has to go do his driver test each year... It's a gov't gift we all face if we live long enough.

 

[W2R]

As far as your test though, since your eye doc says you're fine, but you flunked in the DMV, perhaps there were other conditions that day that impacted the test? On my last one, bored waiting for the 45 minutes or so before my appointment, I was scrolling on my phone for most of it. My eyes take a while to correct for distance when I do that for a while. I had to fudge my way through the last line on one eye with some good guessing and hoping. The bright interior lighting of those offices (or dark, whatever) might also be a factor.

Yes, exactly. The first time they had me read a glossy chart on a wall, at an angle (not straight on), with sunshine pouring over it. Today, the same thing and then they finally got out a machine - - but if I moved even 1/4 inch left or right, the machine would only show me a totally black field with no letters.

Oh well. Arguing with them wouldn't do me any good so I give up.

 

[Car-Guy]

I know I've posted this before but I had to wear glasses while driving since my mid 20's. Then I needed bifocals from ~40 to maybe 65 (I don't recall exactly anymore). Then when I renewed my DL @ 65 I passed easily without glasses. I had heard of such things but never thought it would happen to me... But it did. Now over 70 and I still see just fine while driving, even at night.

I guess we are a little like you guys (W2R/Frank) since I drive my DW everywhere she wants/needs to go. She still has her DL but she hasn't driven more than 100 miles in the past 10 years. (Altogether)

 

[6miths]

Have to admit that I wouldn't go so quietly into that good night if the experts (who are known to be ultra-conservative due to liability issues) said my eyes were fine and there was no indication of cognitive issues. Personally, I would have gone to a different DMV office as it seems like they failed you because of technical issues. A poorly placed wall chart and then a machine that sounds like it wasn't properly set up for binocular vision. I absolutely feel your pain. Scottish tempers aren't far behind Irish! IMHO, driving is an important part of independence and should be maintained as long as safely possible. Sorry for you loss.

 

[W2R]

I'm confused. You said:





So what's the problem? Are refusing to wear the glasses while driving?

-ERD50

No, not at all. I was wearing them although during the re-test I was very nervous.

 

[W2R]

Now over 70 and I still see just fine while driving, even at night.

Yeah, me too after my cataract surgery back in 2015. But, I won't be driving any more.

 

[W2R]

I absolutely feel your pain. Scottish tempers aren't far behind Irish! IMHO, driving is an important part of independence and should be maintained as long as safely possible. Sorry for you loss.

Thanks. My ancestry is both Scottish and Irish, and actually mostly Scottish so I guess I'm getting it from both sides.

 

[MichaelB]

Giving up your car is a big step. Ride sharing (Uber et.al.) though, gives you options no one had just a few years ago, and IMO makes it much easier to be car-free. My older brother “gave up” his car a few years ago and has used Uber since then, and it works fine for him. Well, at least in my opinion it does.

A car contributes strongly to a strong sense of independence and personal responsibility, and this might become an issue. Taking an Uber once in a while, even when your sweetie offers to drive, might be a good idea, just to reinforce the sense that you can go out when and where you please.

 

[W2R]

The issues I see around here with folks "too old" to drive aren't erratic driving, but overly cautious. Overly slow, you can see they are terrified when you pass them. Those are the folks who should seriously hand over the keys.

Oh, well I know the kind of people you are referring to and they are so irresponsible to be driving overly slow and all freaked out like that!! That's not me, either (I would definitely call that erratic and unusual, but maybe I am using an overly broad meaning for those words). Anyway, anybody who has actually seen me drive in person would confirm that I don't drive like that. I actually drive at about the speed limit (shocking, I know!). I haven't been stopped for driving too slowly OR too fast, or doing anything else erratic or unusual or weird.

But then, I don't need to defend my driving here on the forum. I could tell you that I drive drunk as a skunk with a brick on the accelerator and weeving back and forth bouncing off parked cars if I wanted to lie to you, and with no consequences since I won't be driving any more.

 

[W2R]

Giving up your car is a big step. Ride sharing (Uber et.al.) though, gives you options no one had just a few years ago, and IMO makes it much easier to be car-free. My older brother “gave up” his car a few years ago and has used Uber since then, and it works fine for him. Well, at least in my opinion it does.

A car contributes strongly to a strong sense of independence and personal responsibility, and this might become an issue. Taking an Uber once in a while, even when your sweetie offers to drive, might be a good idea, just to reinforce the sense that you can go out when and where you please.

That's probably a good idea, thanks. I did go so far as to download the app a few days ago although I have not used it yet. You're right, a lot of the issue is tied in with self-concept. I have always valued independence, self reliance, initiative, responsibility, and not being a burden on anybody ever.

I am trying not to say to myself, "what are you, some kind of weak-minded helpless ninny that can't do anything at all on her own?" There's no percentage in harboring that kind of negativity.

 

[skyking1]

One extremely foggy night. My mom was driving home from my sisters and ended up on the wrong side of the country road and was stopped by a sheriff.
Then she made the huge tactical error of telling one of my sisters. They collectively started a campaign to get her to quit driving.
In the case of my oldest sister, this is doubly humorous because she is a terrible driver.
When we asked my middle sister who taught Kathy to drive she laughed out loud and said why no one did!
Mother thumbed her nose at them and then had cataract surgery too.
One day Kathy, the spaced out driver, Approached the stop sign at the end of her road, too fast down the hill in the ice.
She tried and failed to stop then slid across that road and into the neighbor's yard, narrowly missing the power pole and the gas meter.
At dinner soon thereafter, everyone commented on how my mom's eyes looked after the cataract surgery. She replied yes and I can see much better now. You know octagonal things on the side of the road? Those are stop signs, she said looking right at Kathy and smiling sweetly.

 

[MissMolly]

I guess you need to move to Kentucky. We have no drivers license renewal rules for elderly at all. Once you pass your tests at age 16, you're good to go for life

 

[Dreamer]

Have to admit that I wouldn't go so quietly into that good night if the experts (who are known to be ultra-conservative due to liability issues) said my eyes were fine and there was no indication of cognitive issues. Personally, I would have gone to a different DMV office as it seems like they failed you because of technical issues. A poorly placed wall chart and then a machine that sounds like it wasn't properly set up for binocular vision. I absolutely feel your pain. Scottish tempers aren't far behind Irish! IMHO, driving is an important part of independence and should be maintained as long as safely possible. Sorry for you loss.

+100

If my ophthalmologist stated that my eyes were fine for driving, I would definitely not give up my driver's license. I am 70 and can not imagine not being able to drive in 5 more years. I value my independence too much. I would go back as many times as it took, to pass the test or go to a different DMV.

 

[Jerry1]

+100

If my ophthalmologist stated that my eyes were fine for driving, I would definitely not give up my driver's license. I am 70 and can not imagine not being able to drive in 5 more years. I value my independence too much. I would go back as many times as it took, to pass the test or go to a different DMV.

I know W2R didn’t come here to be convinced to try again, but I have to agree with you Dreamer. Competent medical professionals have said W2R can see well enough to drive. That would be enough for me to not take no for an answer at the DMV.

However, W2R and Frank got a great arrangement and I’m sure everything will work out fine.

 

[ivinsfan]

I kind of agree with the posters who say go to a different office with different machines or charts. It seems strange that 2 docs said you were fine to drive and you couldn't pass the exam. I bet it was really stressful for you which didn't help...


The machine can be tricky if you got bifocals. It's totally your decision but you surely are more invested in a good outcome then the DMV testers and workers.
Tongue in cheek I will point out this is a very good reason to have a younger partner so good planning on your part.


Think about it for a week or so and then decide...

 

[Ian S]

+100

If my ophthalmologist stated that my eyes were fine for driving, I would definitely not give up my driver's license. I am 70 and can not imagine not being able to drive in 5 more years. I value my independence too much. I would go back as many times as it took, to pass the test or go to a different DMV.

I agree. I turn 72 in August and dont plan to give up driving any time soon. My mother, who had far less driving experience than I, drove until she was in her late 80's and the reason she stopped was due to her mobility limitations after a series of falls. I actually monitored her driving once when she was 88 and she was still driving well. By that time, she was not driving on interstates but only within her city limits.

 

[latexman]

I would try again. It’s three (3) strikes and you’re out.

 

[REWahoo]

I am trying not to say to myself, "what are you, some kind of weak-minded helpless ninny that can't do anything at all on her own?" There's no percentage in harboring that kind of negativity.

^ This.

Giving up driving does not mean giving up your independence. MichaelB's suggestion to get familiar with and comfortable using Uber and/or Lyft is spot on. This will allow you be as independent as you want to be.

DW's maternal grandmother was a great example of this. She never learned to drive, lost her husband when in her 60's and lived independently into her 90's. This was long before Uber and Lyft, she lived in CA and used taxis and busses to get around. She traveled by bus all over the US visiting relatives - even came to visit us in FL when she was in her late 80's.

 

[street]

In these small towns around here the old drive golf carts all round to do their things they need to do. I believe most have a valid license, but the carts are so easy for them to cruise around.
We have friends in neighboring state to us and they do the same thing.