Unrealistic Expectations

[armor99]

I'm not sure where to put this, so Mods move it if it's in the wrong area

As the pandemic stretches on, I have noticed a lot of people with unrealistic expectations. A few examples are the fact that people expect a vaccine to be 100% effective, no side effects, no illness, and no pain. People are expecting colleges to be completely free, everybody accepted, no cost factor, and a ticket to a million dollar house on graduation. People are saying you can't build financial security as easily as past generations. Whether that's the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, get it?

I don't know about you but I didn't start from an easy spot. If I could climb out of homelessness, work 1.5 jobs while desperately trying to not lose my home in the 1990s, have 2 kids own their own home in my HCOL area -- why can't others? My generation complained that 'we' had it harder than our parents and I'm sure our parents generation complained the same

Yes, they may have to forego shopping at Niemann's, buying a Tesla, megahome, gardener ..... but it's all about priorities.

Could not agree with you more. I have seen people almost get run over in the street, because they did what the “sign said” rather than actually look to see if a car was coming.

Most people are extremely risk adverse to just about everything. As everyone here in the forums knows... if you are too risk adverse, you really can “save yourself into poverty”.

Everything in life has risk and chasing the “0” is a fools errand. During this pandemic it has been interring to see people’s reactions to things. If I told someone they had a 98% chance of making it to work tomorrow, most people would think... “sounds good!”

If I asked the same people, if you send your child to school today they have a 2% chance of not making it home, almost all of them would think “hmmm maybe I will wait a while here” Effectively said the exact same thing in two different ways. Stop feeding the wrong wolf and things will improve!

 

[Popeye]

I've posted many research links between this and a related thread on a similar topic. I've never seen anyone posting a link supporting the ongoing sentiments here that poverty and lack of success are mainly due to laziness and other moral failings. Many of the replies have been along the lines of all the researchers are biased, the places their results are published are all biased and I disagree with their analysis so I don't think they are right, even though I don't have any actual research to support my own opinions.

Well, okay then. Not much more I can add to what I've already posted.

You don’t need separate research to see that the conclusions made from the initial research study are not really supported by said study. I’m not going to blindly accept their conclusions because they have a pretty graph, an advanced degree, or a big name university in their bio. They make a claim then they need to prove it to me. I don’t need to prove them wrong with a study proving an opposite position.

I don’t see much being attributed to moral failings. Your results can be driven by your choices without any moral issues coming into play. As an example I remember a discussion with a direct report in my Megacorp days. She wanted bigger pay / advancement/ etc. so I mentioned some possible management positions which she could have easily handled. But she didn’t want to take that on. It wasn’t a moral failing by any stretch of the imagination. She saw what managers went through and didn’t want any part of it. It was her choice and perfectly acceptable but did close off certain avenues of advancement. But don’t worry, she moved on to project management and did quite well! Funny thing is that was the final straw for me when they wanted to move Me into project management. Lol.

 

[PatrickA5]

I could have written this post about unrealistic expectations about one of my relatives. She complains because she has to "file" for unemployment every week - never mind she's making more from unemployment than working. She says she shouldn't have to work. She complained for 2 weeks about the color of the NEW car her dad bought her. She always is looking for someone to come over to her house to do things for her. But, don't come over before she gets up at 3:00pm. She's "entitled" to everything, but not willing to put out any effort to actually earn it.

I should mention she's 63.

 

[athena53]

DS is doing well at age 35 but I can see a boatload of differences between the world when I started out of college and when he did. Many involve things that people are clamoring to get "free" (yeah, we know, it really means "no cost to me and send the bill to someone else" or affordable.

1. The cost of housing has skyrocketed well beyond the rate of inflation, putting it out of reach for many. Try finding new construction that's similar to 1950s (3 BR, 1.5 baths, one story) that isn't a town house. It's all McMansions.

2. Same with cars. No equivalent to a VW Beetle. They're all "loaded" with some stuff we want and a lot we don't but we have no choice. At least they last longer now.

3. More people had medical coverage from work and it was far better- no $6,000 deductibles or narrow networks. Sometimes the employer paid for it all.

4. College education has gotten crazy-expensive. My parents put 5 of us through decent state universities, living away from home, with no loans. Yes, they were frugal and made it a priority but what would that cost now?

5. College degrees are required for a ton of jobs were they're not really necessary if you have a good work ethic and are willing to learn. Many don't pay enough to live decently and still pay off student loans. Defined benefit pensions are nearly gone in the private sector. Employers have no problem with mass layoffs (another euphemism- implies you might get called back when hey just want you to go away).

6. Consumers have made it clear that they want the cheapest possible for everything. That means outsourced manufacturing and stripping away customer service to the bare minimum of people, typically low-paid or offshored.

Yes, there are the ones who want it all now and spend every dime they make and there are more temptations for that than ever. And I suppose there are more people with a poor work ethic- a friend works for a Medicare call center hot line and he gets bonuses every once in awhile just for showing up and not having unexplained absences. We laugh at that.

I still think it's harder to make your way in the world financially than it used to be.

 

[38Chevy454]

As someone who's had to work from the age of 12 (paper route, then computers shortly thereafter starting around age 15) to achieve what I EARNED through hard work and sacrifice, few things frost me as much as hearing people talk about "luck" playing such a big part in someone being successful - or not.

"Luck" does not determine destiny. Hard work and sacrifice do. I grew up in inner city Detroit, in a 50/50 or so neighborhood. True story - there was an event I wanted to go to once and it cost a whole dollar. Mom told me she was very sorry, but we (literally) did not have a dollar for me to go to the event - and that was absolutely true. So, how "lucky" were we? I'd contend..not very. Yet, I somehow managed to go to college (9 years to get my 4 year degree since I worked every day to pay every single dollar of my own way), graduate with honors and retire early at 55. Hmmmm...

Hard work was, and remains, how one gets ahead in life. The popular refrain to allege "luck" is a cop-out, IMHO, from those who think there are some magic bonus points that one receives by being born in a certain neighborhood, being a certain race, etc. Nope. Everyone can succeed (barring something significant like a physical or emotional disability) if they CHOOSE to succeed and make the sacrifices needed to do so..unfortunately, that is so out of vogue nowadays and so many just expect to be "given" things instead of having to work hard for them..

Good for you 24601. Although I grew up in better circumstances, I also worked full time since 15 during breaks and part time during school. Had a J-O-B scholarship and between working and some college co-op working on the 5 year plan, I graduated with engineering degree. The rest of my life was applying that degree with hard work to end up with success. No moral superiority, facts of the situation. I have worked for everything that I have, except for modest inheritance from parent's estate.

There are others who want to put blame on something else, rather than look inward. I don't accept excuses as showstoppers. You need to figure out a way around that something else to make progress. I will agree sometimes that something else is not able to be overcome and it is a limiting factor, like bad medical illness.

I consistently get solicitations from my university wanting donations. I don't give any, as they never did anything for helping me. Would have had a full ride scholarship had I been minority female with all the same grades and scores, but nothing as reverse discrimination white male. Sure some may call that petty and selfish reaction. Tough sh!t, you didn't go through what I did and sacrifices made to reach my point in life. They don't know what I do contribute to charity, and not their business. For same reasons, I am conservative in my views and prefer to be in charge of my finances and life, not the gov't.

 

[Gumby]

Thanks to all for a stimulating discussion.