Vicious people: How do you handle it?

[W2R]

What is the best way to handle vicious attacks on your person that are undeserved and just plain cruel/mean? Is the best way to treat these just to ignore them and leave the person alone or is it better to say something back to the person that shuts them up for good? And--if you do say something back to them--what do you say that hits the nail on the head but doesn't put you into a counter-attack mode?

I can NEVER think of the right thing to say until an hour later. Other than that, the way I handle it depends on who the person is to me.

1. (former) Co-worker: Say nothing, perhaps look a little incredulous, and go home and walk about muttering, and/or try to think of what I can learn from the situation. Then vent to any friend or message board that seems to be willing to listen to my outrage. Obviously this is not a healthy response and I am so glad to be retired and not have to put up with workplace viciousness.

2. Friend: I don't put up with this, period. The friend is history and will probably be the recipient of some choice words on his or her way out of my life. Of course that wouldn't be the case with Frank but he would never, ever treat me that way, either.

3. Relative: Only once, a dear relative said some very vicious things to me while under the influence of prescription medications and I think having mental health issues. I poured my heart out to him through tears telling him how much he means to me and how much I have always thought of him. Although he apologized profusely later, I have never since felt quite "safe" with respect to that sort of behavior when around him and I am embarrassed to admit that although I still love him dearly, I have avoided him. I probably need to stop doing that.