Take away: 'Children are like a box of chocolate; you never know what you are going to get.'
I've never had children, happy I didn't and the world is probably better off also.
Having watched the children of others grow up; I would say the take away is a bit off. I've noticed that there are some very strong correlations between the personalities of the parents and the child.
So I'm wondering if some parents of wayward children have seen some of their own or their spouse's wayward behavior in their children?
Well, in my case, I think DS has two issues. The first is/was dropping out of school, quitting a decent job, not doing much of anything for 2 years (but he didn't live with us, so we didnt have much to say about it.) I believe most of that was a result of the anxiety and depression he was dealing with. He is now back in school and working regularly, etc. But the second issue (and the one we talk about the most here) is not having a clue or concern about money and paying bills.
In that respect, DS is
nothing like DH or I. Neither of us were ever like that. I cannot think of anyone in DH's family who was like that either. But - I have a sister who has gone through 2 bankruptcies and still overspends. I pray DS's concept of money changes as he continues to get on his feet - yet I worry that he will be just like my sister. We will always provide warmth and food, if necessary - but we have made it clear he will not get money from us.
My brother, my sister, and I were raised the same. DH and I LBOM and look forward to ER. My brother is a regular guy, works hard, buys more toys than I would, but pays all his bills, raised two kids, has some money put away for retirement etc. And then there is my sister..... Three kids and we pretty much cover the spectrum.
My son and daughter were raised the same way. DD is 1.5 years out of college, but asks my advice for where to put her extra money, has maxed out her ROTH 2 years, puts a bunch in her 401K, and won't buy anything unless it is on sale.
Your "take away" is
incredibly accurate. Raise 2 kids the same way - you may get the same outcome, you may get different outcomes. Raise 2 kids differently - you may get the same outcome, you may get different outcomes. Sometimes nature takes over, sometimes nuture. Or at least that is my theory. And nature may go to a place in your lineage you may not even be aware of.....