What to do if you do not want a funeral

i just tuned in to provide that answer!
 
Thanks for the replies everyone!

I didn't really think of the funeral being for the living but you do have a point there.

I have went to funerals that were just grueling like 4 days and I thought I will never put any one through this!

I want every last penny that I have to go to my parents so they can enjoy it!

Jim
 
summer2007 said:
I want every last penny that I have to go to my parents so they can enjoy it!

Jim
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Arent you getting a bit ahead of the game here?

A simple service at the funeral home with your ashes front and center would probably give your friends and relatives a chance to grieve and remember your life,as said before the ceremony is for the living Its not just about you. and although no one really enjoys a funeral its comforting for family and friends to get together at that point in time to share their emotions at their loss.
 
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I remember one little old lady at a church I used to attend occasionally. She was a spry, happy old soul up until just a few hours before her death. She was in the emergency room having suffered a heart attack, and her DH and her Pastor were there. Naturally they were both very grieved to sit by her bedside waiting for the inevitable, but she wasn't a bit sad about it. She'd lived a very full and happy life, was friends with everyone she had ever met, had ALWAYS only seen the good in everyone, and was continually bright and cheerful. She made her DH and Pastor swear that instead of a mournful funeral, they would instead throw a gala birthday party for her 89th BD that was coming up.

So it ended up that the visitation and funeral were both held in the church sanctuary on her BD. And, according to her final wishes, they threw a big BD celebration in the church's fellowship hall with cake and ice cream, and games for the kids (she especially adored kids, and spent almost her entire life being a Sunday school teacher). Everyone was able to mourn her loss, and also to celebrate her life. It was a very nice way for family and friends to remember her.

She was always a bit of a quick wit also. So during her final hours she wrote a simple note and signed it, and asked that it be placed by her casket. As I was standing in line to pay my last respects, I kept hearing faint snickers and giggles from folks near the front.....and wondered what was so funny. When I got up there, I found out. The note she had handwritten and signed read:

"Although I won't be able to be there in person, you are invited to attend my 89th Birthday Party in the Fellowship Hall. God bless you all. Love, Nina"

She was quite a lady! :D
 
jambo101 said:
A simple service at the funeral home with your ashes front and center would probably give your friends and relatives a chance to grieve and remember your life,as said before the ceremony is for the living Its not just about you. and although no one really enjoys a funeral its comforting for family and friends to get together at that point in time to share their emotions at their loss.
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Fine, then let them make their own plans and pay their own way-- I have better uses for what little's left of the estate.

Nothing turns me off faster from a funeral than seeing/hearing the family members guilted by the funeral staff into excessive spending. And military funerals can be filled with a bunch of highly pissed-off people who just want to go out and kill someone who's desperately earned it... let alone if it happens during wartime.
 
About 30 years ago I attended the (typical Midwest protestant taxidermist corpse heaps of flowers ) funeral of an in-law.

Two years ago I attended the (evangelical come-to-jesus he's probably burning in hell) funeral of a friend.

I did not attend the funerals of various relatives (who were cremated and scattered with minimal ceremony).

I'm donated to a local medical college, they cremate on site; maybe I'll leave some funds for someone to scatter the ashes off the coast of Maine. Volunteers?:D
 
DH and I are going the cremation route. We have a plot and all they'll need it a post hole digger to plant the biodegradable boxes we will be in. No fancy service. Just a group of friends and family at the Meetinghouse where we married to remember us as we were. There will be one simple head stone with each of our names and DOB and DOD. That is the official plan.

There is a company in (where else) California that will put some your ashes in fireworks and send you out in a blaze of glory. DH likes things that go boom so I think that will be a nice touch.
 
Nords said:
Fine, then let them make their own plans and pay their own way-- I have better uses for what little's left of the estate.
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Maybe instead of just throwing your body in a dumpster when you are done with it,maybe you can at least donate it to science or donate your organs to a needy recipient.
 
jambo101 said:
Maybe instead of just throwing your body in a dumpster when you are done with it,maybe you can at least donate it to science or donate your organs to a needy recipient.
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"What I said way back in post #11"

Just sent the paperwork in. Our eyes go to the Lions, our organs go to the Makana foundation, and whatever's left over goes to the UH medical school. But if too much is harvested at the organ donors (or if the body is too badly damaged) then the medical school doesn't want the leftovers. So we're keeping the dumpster option open.

A couple months ago when our teen was getting her learner's permit she was asked if she wanted to be an organ donor. We hadn't seen that one coming so she got a 60-second brief on what can happen after they sweep your remains up off the highway. She was pretty grossed out by the whole idea but agreed to volunteer for it because we had.

So when we finished our body-donation paperwork we went through the whole thing again with her. Now she can hold her own against well-meaning executors and funeral staff and won't be guilted into wasting her money...
 
Cremation - wooden boat, flaming arrows and mead(after shooting the arrows).

All of which is dependant on my designated shooters to round up a wooden boat, outlive me and Mead being still commercially availible.

As to my friends/relatives - they have been known to have parties without me present(but alive) let alone being dead and needing an excuse for a wake.

And we ain't Irish!

heh heh heh - :cool:

P.S. I'm an organ donor on my driver's license - but at 65 they're a tad old.
 
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Maybe I dreamed this, but I thought I heard just recently that the bodies donated to science were stacked up somewhere - so many of them they can't all be used. Could that possibly be true? If so, I'd just as soon they dispose of mine some other way rather than leave my cold, dead corpse stacked up in a corner with a bunch of other cold, dead corpses.
 
bubba said:
Maybe I dreamed this, but I thought I heard just recently that the bodies donated to science were stacked up somewhere - so many of them they can't all be used. Could that possibly be true? If so, I'd just as soon they dispose of mine some other way rather than leave my cold, dead corpse stacked up in a corner with a bunch of other cold, dead corpses.
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IIRC certain medical schools, such as Harvard, have an oversupply; go for a less famous one.
 
bubba said:
If so, I'd just as soon they dispose of mine some other way rather than leave my cold, dead corpse stacked up in a corner with a bunch of other cold, dead corpses.
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Yeah, but maybe the corpse next to you will be that of some really hot, sexy babe! :D
 
bubba said:
If so, I'd just as soon they dispose of mine some other way rather than leave my cold, dead corpse stacked up in a corner with a bunch of other cold, dead corpses.
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"Please continue to hold. Your corpse is very important to us, and will be handled in the order in which it was received..."
 
unclemick said:
Cremation - wooden boat, flaming arrows and mead(after shooting the arrows).

All of which is dependant on my designated shooters to round up a wooden boat, outlive me and Mead being still commercially available./quote]

I called this one (sort of) back in #14. Since I've found a kindred spirit, maybe we can work together. I can shoot a bow (sort of), I once made a nearly palatable (and very strong) mead, and I plan to live at least 48 more years. Although at age 100 I may not be able to shoot the bow anymore. But I'll still be able to rig a decent remote detonator ;)

And my DW isn't very accomodating with this idea, so if I go first, maybe you could lend a hand?

Harley
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