This post hurts my heart. My mom passed 3 years ago. She had dementia for over 20 years. First started slowly blaming my dad for affairs with imaginary women etc. We ended up separating them. Fast forward 10 years, I caught her on a good day and asked her if she would like to put me on her accounts. She said yes! I had some paperwork drawn up (will, POA, Durable medical POA and all the important papers we would need in the future.) Found her lucid on another good day and she signed all the paperwork and we had it all notarized.
Thank you God we did it before she was gone too far with the dementia. 3 years before she passed she started calling and saying she wanted her money so she could give $1,000 to Jimmy Swaggart, wanted to buy a new car, wanted to run away, which I wouldn't have minded except she was living paycheck to paycheck (SS and my Dad'd retirement) since I was handling the bills for two households since we had to separate them a few years earlier. They had no extra money to blow. In the old days my mom was great with money.
She would get angry and defensive. She accused me specifically of stealing. She checked her bank account everyday by going to the ATM. She hid cash everywhere. It had gotten really bad and she was diagnosed with lung and adrenial cancer. Hospice was brought in. The social worker didn't believe us about the dementia until she did. You see my mom was quite convincing with others who didn't know her. One day when the social worker was there she saw my mom get worked up because she thought we (my sisters and I) were stealing etc from her. Long story short we were so thankful the Lord took her home before we had to put her someplace.
If you notice your parent or loved one is "different" or is starting to forget, try to get them on a good day to have paperwork signed so someone who cares about them can take over for them.
Today, my dad is very thankful we did all we did when we did it, otherwise he would be very poor. Had we not stepped in when we did we would all be paying some every month for his care.
Just my 2 cents.