Sorry you're upset but this says you knew what your spouse's personality type was before you married her and had 2 kids with her
Do you hope to change her somehow, or are you venting a little bit? I'm sure your spouse would say she busts her ass for your family too.
I do not think the people here are "obsessed" with retirement, it's a goal and a hope. If you haven't relaxed for one day in the last 7 years, saying you hope to relax in 20 years when you retire isn't going to help you much.
I'm not sure where you live but could you suffer with some SAD, last year your post about your wife and kids, (which is basically a rehash of this) came in December, do your feel better when the days are longer.
Your spouse and the mother of your kids is the way she is and if you don't like it you do have options..you seem angry and resentful of her which can't help either one of you.
You're an ATC and you sleep 4 hours a night..that scares me and should scares other flyers too.