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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 02-25-2006, 11:35 PM   #21
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

What is your day job?

You may have the opportunity to take a lot more time off and still keep the job, thus keeping up appearances with FIL and kids.

You both will have an opportunity to stuff your Roths, which will take some of this windfall out of your hands and may make points with Pop.

I understand how this is a delicate family situation. You may have to move slowly if you decide to change what you are doing. Perhaps you should plan not to spend it all for a while, showing some frugality--or spend none for a while and show a lot of frugality. Good discipline and may also make points with Pop.

Remember the advice not to make life-changing decisions quickly. Consider sitting tight for a year to think it through and get used to the idea.

I have outlived most of the people I don't like and I am working on the rest.
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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 02-28-2006, 12:57 PM   #22
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

Originally Posted by poyet
Her money / income is not yours.
I'll just disagree. I think the money's ownership depends on how the couple handles their money. This can only be determined by the two of them.

My wife and I share our finances. I manage paying bills, we each buy whatever we want. If there's a problem, we bring it up. If we're going to buy something expensive, we discuss it first. So if either of us had funds, we would drop them into the same pool.

So my suggestion would be to decide how to handle the funds. Are they going to be "hers", in which case you need to keep working, or will they be "ours", in which case you decide what you want to do. I assume since you're married, she'll want you to be happy, so hopefully you can work things out so that you're both pleased with the situation.
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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-01-2006, 12:33 AM   #23
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

I am personally shocked by these numbers

Take your time, don't make major changes until the numbers no longer shock you. Since you have a new baby you may be able to take 12 weeks off for Family Medical Leave, I don't know if just haveing a baby is enough but your company may be required to hold your job for 12 weeks. This will give you some time to be home full time and see if you are bored stiff or love changing diapers and reading stories.
I think you should give it a full year to sink in and to think what to do with all that extra time.
When neither of you need to work and the kids are preschool age you are foot loose you could sail around the world or go live on a sheep ranch in Australia for a year or you could move to Montana and raise cattle or sheep. The world is wide open to you, scary isn't it?
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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-01-2006, 07:18 AM   #24
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

I am in a somewhat similar situation although the circumstances of how the money came about are different.

I am currently 41 and retired two years ago (WOW I can't believe it's been two years already).* My wife and I came into similar numbers as yourself when she was disabled as a result of a malpractice surgery.* I had many of the same questions more than two years ago:* What would my kids think that Dad doesn't work?* Would others think I was lazy for leaving work at an early age?* Would I become bored?* Would this feel like when I was a kid during summer vacation and had what seemed to be all the freedom in the world?* Should I still work to instill a strong work ethic in my kids?* Could we afford to do it?* Would we be able to afford health insurance?

Well after two years I can say I haven't regretted the decision to leave work one bit.* We tell our kids (currently 7 and 9) Dad is home to help Mom since she can't do the same things she used to be able to do (she is partially paralyzed).* I eased into permanent retirement by working a four day 32 hour work week for about a year.* We didn't change anything for the first year after we received the settlement monies, I still worked full time.*

But two years after we received settlement I decided life is too short to live as a cubicle rat for most of the day.* The money I was making working 32 hours a week was minimal compared to our investment interest.* We have not been the least bit bored.* I have found new hobbies that I wouldn't have done if I was still working full time.* My wife and I can enjoy midafternoon rompings in the sack.* My wife volunteers in our kids school and on their hockey association.* My son loves baseball and the Red Sox so we make many trips to Fenway Park and travel to other stadiums to see the Red Sox play.* I can play catch when the kids get home from school, go swimming with them in the summertime, have many summer parties with our friends, coach their baseball and hockey teams, help out with our aging parents, etc, etc.* There are still things I haven't done that I thought I would do like taking an interesting college class.

You won't regret having all that time to spend with your kids and neither will they.* Don't worry about what others think - IT'S YOUR LIFE.* You never know what curve life will throw you, enjoy it while you can.* We still find it difficult to tell others that don't know our situation that we are retired.* We don't seem to like announcing "WE HAVE MONEY".

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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-01-2006, 10:07 PM   #25
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

Don't discount the shock that follows receiving a large inheritance. We inherited a large sum, not as much as you but enough to change our lives. At first, it was just impossible to believe. We were bewildered by it, for lack of a better term.

We also grapple with what our parents would want us to do with the money, even though they are all gone. It's an ethical issue. My father in law made a couple of requests of us before he passed on: He wanted us to educate our kids and leave them some money when we die. So we cannot spend it all on ourselves, and we have to invest it wisely.

For that reason we are still both working until my husband is eligilbe for his pension in less than 5 years. That's not long and we are very happy about it, but we will be the only couple out of all our friends and family who will have the money to retire. We feel guilty about that.

So inheriting money is not an unalloyed pleasure. It brings conflicts, responsibilities, and negative feelings. I agree that it would help to keep working for a year or so just to give yourself time to assimilate this. I think you have a whole list of uncomfortable issues that you need to resolve before making any big decisions.
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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-02-2006, 07:27 AM   #26
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

Tawny, it sounds like your husband's parents raised him right and he married the right woman.

No more lawyer stuff, no more political stuff, so no more CYA

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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-02-2006, 12:31 PM   #27
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

Originally Posted by Martha
Tawny, it sounds like your husband's parents raised him right and he married the right woman.
Here, here.
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ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Re: have the money. . . now what?
Old 03-02-2006, 07:48 PM   #28
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Re: have the money. . . now what?

To quote Goofy: Gworsh!
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