Very strange feeling

C

ChrisK

Dryer sheet wannabe
Joined
Jan 4, 2018
Messages
10
56 yrs old, FIRE for a couple months. Today was at the post-office getting my passport renewed. One of the questions the PO employee asked in order to complete one of my forms was my "where do you work?". I've been asked this question a million times while working for the same mega corp for 25 yrs, so it was super strange to say "retired". A bit of me felt anxious/insecure/guilty to say retired (= i am not working). I was surprised to have this feeling as FIRE
has been something I've worked for for so long, but understandable as I've I been conditioned to 'be working' for most my life and am at an age where most are working. This was a good reminder to say 'retired' with pride next time i am asked where i work:).
 
ChrisK said:
56 yrs old, FIRE for a couple months. Today was at the post-office getting my passport renewed. One of the questions the PO employee asked in order to complete one of my forms was my "where do you work?". I've been asked this question a million times while working for the same mega corp for 25 yrs, so it was super strange to say "retired". A bit of me felt anxious/insecure/guilty to say retired (= i am not working). I was surprised to have this feeling as FIRE
has been something I've worked for for so long, but understandable as I've I been conditioned to 'be working' for most my life and am at an age where most are working. This was a good reminder to say 'retired' with pride next time i am asked where i work:).
Click to expand...

Been retired under a year. Have to admit I do love saying I am retired. However, if there is an elderly person providing a retail service to me, I am conscious not to say anything.
 
Here's another uncomfortable feeling: when friends and relatives mention w*rk.

It can be offhand, like "I'm so glad Monday is a holiday, I have the day off." Or they might be complaining about how they can't get anything done because of their w*rk schedule.

Sometimes, I make a joke of it. "I have that day off, too!"

But there are times when saying ANYthing can be interpreted as gloating, or as a put-down to the w*rking stiffs. I certainly don't want to offend anyone, or act superior to anyone. Hey, if they saw my pension check, there'd be NO jealousy. But I find I still have to be careful.
 
I understand. I retired at 55 and for decades I always replied with "I am a ______." Now I'm getting comfortable saying "I was a ______, now I'm retired"
 
Palmtree said:
I understand. I retired at 55 and for decades I always replied with "I am a ______." Now I'm getting comfortable saying "I was a ______, now I'm retired"
Click to expand...
You can tell you have really arrived when you no longer feel the need to say the "I was a ______" part. :)
 
Not really an issue since I'm 60. But, like others, when chatting with my elders working at Home Depot, I'm "between jobs."
 
I tell people I can't wait until Friday, when I get the day off from swim practice and pickleball.
 
I've mentioned it before, but DW suggested that I tell people that I am a private money manager. I like it!
 
brucethebroker said:
I've mentioned it before, but DW suggested that I tell people that I am a private money manager. I like it!
Click to expand...
My DW suggested I tell people that I'm unemployed so as to explain the way I dress.
 
My answer is and has always been "retired"

I don't tell lies and I could care less what people think of me for telling the truth.

If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
 
Ready said:
I tell people I can't wait until Friday, when I get the day off from swim practice and pickleball.
Click to expand...

I like that and will use that response! LOL
 
I sold my business last year but have a payout going out 4 more years under a consulting contract/stock purchase agreement which simply requires me to be "available" for consultation.

When asked the question I still say I am employed by the company even though I work (telephone calls) less than an hour per week.

I guess I am not comfortable with the label either.

Hard to teach a 58 year old dog new tricks.

+1 on "My DW suggested I tell people that I'm unemployed so as to explain the way I dress." She doesn't like my cargo pants and sweatshirts....
 
ChrisK said:
... it was super strange to say "retired". A bit of me felt anxious/insecure/guilty to say retired (= i am not working). I was surprised to have this feeling as FIRE
has been something I've worked for for so long, but understandable as I've I been conditioned to 'be working' for most my life and am at an age where most are working. This was a good reminder to say 'retired' with pride next time i am asked where i work:).
Click to expand...

Don't worry, you will get used to it pretty quick!

CaptTom said:
But there are times when saying ANYthing can be interpreted as gloating, or as a put-down to the w*rking stiffs. I certainly don't want to offend anyone, or act superior to anyone. Hey, if they saw my pension check, there'd be NO jealousy. But I find I still have to be careful.
Click to expand...

+1. I have always been careful to "know my audience" when making comments about being retired. At this point, I really don't say much of anything to anyone...they are simply all too sensitive. I have made it a point to NEVER gloat, but my retirement status will come up in conversation on occasion, and I am obliged to confirm that being retired is pretty damn awesome. :D I am sorry that there are so many haters out there!
 
Not certain why the need to hide the fact that one is retired? It is never about gloating. It is about being factual.
 
I haven't run into any haters yet. And it's not that I'd hide anything.

But timing is everything. It's easy for someone who's had a hard day to mistake an offhand comment as gloating or, worse, judging. I don't want to bring anyone down, so I've learned when it's OK to bring up the fact that *I* didn't have to work today, and when it's not. ;)
 
Exactly.

So you lie and say you're working. Where at? What do you do? I work just down the street, let's have lunch.

So now you have to make up a whole string of lies and go have lunch 20 miles away with someone you really don't want to know anyway? Just to keep from hurting the feelings of the employed?

No thanks, I'll just tell the truth. If that ruffles your feathers I don't want to talk to you anyway.
 
phil1ben said:
I sold my business last year but have a payout going out 4 more years under a consulting contract/stock purchase agreement which simply requires me to be "available" for consultation.
Click to expand...

Thinking of doing a similar thing. Just out of curiosity how many years of owner benefit does the 4 year payout equal? I own a rep business and it has very low expenses, so the revenue is almost equal to the income, and not sure what would be fair, since the contracts are easy cancel.
 
I have friends in my profession that haven't been as fortunate, one from first year out of college in my profession, who had some hickups in their career - so I'm going to give some shielded answer once I'm REd. "I'm basically focused on managing my real estate now" and doing some professional consulting work, as demand arises, "of course". They'll just have to deal with it. I'm not going to keep working for fear of upsetting someone's sense of self.
 
Guy next door owns a wind tower cleaning business. 30 years old. Doesn't have to go anywhere. Crew does it all. Huge tax credits for wind. He has it made at 30. He doesn't apologize for staying home & taking govt money. He owns 24 acres with a pool & a shop. When I was his age I had a starter house worth $60k. His place is assessed at $700k. Has 5 dogs. Life will always be better for some than others. The fed has been much kinder to to current generations than past generations. Money flows easier now. Tech has been a factor but but if the public debt ever becomes a problem that might change the goldilocks economy.
 
It's been almost 5 years since I retired. It took a while for me to adjust as I had too much of my identity tied to my career. Last week I saw a person who had a related career(IT) in the city I lived in. I knew we had common coworkers.

It was very awkward to introduce myself and discuss career stuff, coworkers. That's what I did to make money, not who I am. After 5 years you folks cured me!

Today, I'm happy to say retired. I'm 61, so it's not weird. Oddly I probably look younger at 61 then 56.
 
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