How often do strangers ask you for money?

[GenXguy]

Regarding walking alone, you might want to check with your local mall, ours is open at 7am for walkers and have security on site and a prize drawing every month.

She responded about malls a couple times earlier in the thread. Doesn't sound like a good option for her.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

My brother calls me everyday asking for $1,000 plus....or else he'll kill me or my kids. He used to threaten mom , but she died last year.

I'd take a panhandler any day.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

I attended one of the Lady Be Aware Classes classes many years ago run by the Sheriffs department, it was cheap at the time and very effective. They turned it into a fun experience, there were both male and female training officers and it was held at their facility. Towards the end of the day it was time to put our education to the test so a couple of the male officers got padded up and every one of us had to individually role play being followed and grabbed by a stranger and we had permission to do anything to save ourselves. We were assured that we couldn't possibly hurt these cops but I know for sure that I did, once I got started I really put the boot in and hit him as hard and as often as I could, none of his parts were off limits. I don't know where my aggression came from but it was very empowering to know I could fight back if ever cornered. They ended the day with taking us to their shooting range out back and allowing us to shoot 3 different guns only if we wanted to and I did. I came out of that meeting feeling 7 feet tall, it was truly a great experience. To this day I know that I visibly tense up when approached by the gas station panhandlers but the vibe they get is that I will fight and they tend to take a couple of steps back.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=199461999468700

 

[Sunset]

My brother calls me everyday asking for $1,000 plus....or else he'll kill me or my kids. He used to threaten mom , but she died last year.

I'd take a panhandler any day.

He sounds like a real jerk !

Hopefully he lives far away so he can't bother you in person.

What he is doing is illegal, but unless you are an "important" person, the justice system doesn't take it serious.

 

[Badger]

I attended one of the Lady Be Aware Classes classes many years ago run by the Sheriffs department, it was cheap at the time and very effective. They turned it into a fun experience, there were both male and female training officers and it was held at their facility.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=199461999468700

What a great program. As an older male with limited ability to defend myself due to arthritis I would love to attend a program like this.

 

[folivier]

I've been thinking of getting a cane to carry and learning self-defense techniques using it. As a 70 yo male who has lost upper body strength I'm somewhat concerned about mugging. The intent is still to defend myself but don't know if I can without something like a cane.

 

[braumeister]

Many police departments offer free self-defense courses.

 

[RunningBum]

I've been thinking of getting a cane to carry and learning self-defense techniques using it. As a 70 yo male who has lost upper body strength I'm somewhat concerned about mugging. The intent is still to defend myself but don't know if I can without something like a cane.

It seems like carrying a cane might make you look like more of a target. I'm just remembering my uncle, who was probably around your age at the time, getting mugged at a Chicago train station. He had a cane, and probably was limping after a surgery. I'd guess the muggers (they worked as a pair) picked him out as a target in a crowd.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

It seems like carrying a cane might make you look like more of a target. I'm just remembering my uncle, who was probably around your age at the time, getting mugged at a Chicago train station. He had a cane, and probably was limping after a surgery. I'd guess the muggers (they worked as a pair) picked him out as a target in a crowd.

When I'm walking the dog, I take a golf iron which I keep in the car down the side of the seat but I also worry what if the perp grabbed it and used it on me. I also have a couple in closets in the house within easy reach.

 

[athena53]

It seems like carrying a cane might make you look like more of a target.

DH didn't have a cane but he was clearly old and moved slowly, and stood out because he was tall. He was pickpocketed in 3 major cities in Europe till he learned to stop carrying cash around. I agree that a cane may send the wrong message.

 

[W2R]

How often to strangers ask me for money? Well, never, really. I don't talk to strangers, I don't look rich, and I don't act like I'd welcome them talking to me. So, they don't even try to talk to me any more. Being a woman helps; none of them want to be "me too'd" by a fat elderly stranger like me.

It seems like carrying a cane might make you look like more of a target.

Frank doesn't usually carry his cane. He carries something else for protection, which is (or soon will be) legal to carry in Louisiana.

 

[Eucerin]

I got asked today. I had just returned to my car at Walmart and I was putting drops in my eyes. The lady had two kids and a sign. She knocked on the drivers window and held up her sign. I cracked the window and said, “no, sorry about that”. She moved on.

I am a sucker! I have been approached numerous times, I just couldn't say no.
One time, around Christmas time, a windy dreary day, at the intersection of a shopping area, a strong young man had a post in his hand, it said needs money to go home for Christmas. I ended up give him 5 bucks

 

[badatmath]

It seems like carrying a cane might make you look like more of a target. I'm just remembering my uncle, who was probably around your age at the time, getting mugged at a Chicago train station. He had a cane, and probably was limping after a surgery. I'd guess the muggers (they worked as a pair) picked him out as a target in a crowd.

Agree. My blind cousin gets stuff stolen all the time including his cane. He has never been hurt in any way but he lives in a small town too where crime rate is not high.

I recall hearing once to carry a golf club to fend off coyotes and attacking dogs but IDK I can't think I have ever seen anyone do it IRL. I wouldn't take much note of it though.

I think that a gun would be similarly dangerous for me even if I knew how to use one - a man could overpower me and take it if they really tried (plus they are valuable) . . . other than mild curiosity about learning to shoot though I'd probably never consider even touching one.

 

[HarveyS]

I recall hearing once to carry a golf club to fend off coyotes and attacking dogs but IDK I can't think I have ever seen anyone do it IRL.

Worked pretty good for Elin Nordegren.

 

[Time2]

I said that once and the asker replied with "That's OK, there is an ATM around the corner where you can get some cash."

Now it is just a firm "No".

The last time I said, "I don't carry cash", the response was, "I have Square to process your credit or debit card!" Kidding, just kidding.
However on my eclipse trip, I had three businesses that did not except cash! CC only.

 

[old medic]

I ask them if they'd take a burger or some fruit and that is usually enough to get them disinterested. They usually want cash for drugs, smokes or booze.

LOL.... We were coming home from one of our racing events and hit a store for a bathroom break and munchies. Pulling an open trailer with the race bike, coolers and camping gear... A guy walks up to me asking for some money to get something to eat... I offered to make him a sandwich as I was getting stuff out to do just that... He declined it... I said your just wanting something to drink... yup..... so dug down and handed him a beer...He didnt even say thanks, just wandered around behind the store.

 

[Calico]

Worked pretty good for Elin Nordegren.

She knew the right tool for the job.

 

[Sunset]

How about carrying pepper spray when walking. Or bear spray.

My big worry, is large aggressive dogs owned by negligent owners, every now and then there is a news article of some dog killing or severly injuring a person out in public. Often pit bulls, etc..

Having tried to break up a dog fight of my dog and neighbor dog, and being bitten in the process, I know it's super painful and I wasn't even being attacked, just an accidental bite.

 

[punkinhead]

I never get asked for money anymore, but before retirement I worked a lot in the Rio Grande Valley (McAllen/Pharr) and it was pretty common to get hit up with the "my car is out of gas can you give me some money to get home?" scam. The last time was the most laughable. Three of us were driving back to the hotel after dinner and we saw a guy in a huge SUV pull out of a gas station and follow us for a couple miles. He pulled up behind us at the hotel, got out, and started his spiel about how he left his wallet at home and was almost out of gas. The whole time he was begging for gas money he left his behemoth SUV idling. He said his "piece of sh*t brother-in-law" wouldn't bring him money. My response was "well, he knows you better than I do."

I traveled all over the US, Europe, and Asia for work and never got approached by scammers as much as I did in southern Texas.

 

[frances]

...

Is there any way I can look more unapproachable to them? Or something I can tell myself that makes me feel less crappy in the moment?

....

Don't dress the part that shows you have money.

I'm F too, and my mom (bless her - she's gone) used to tell me "you need to dress better".

And husband (love him too) says "sometimes you dress like an old man" (because I will purposely mis-match plaids and stuff that doesn't go together).

I wear little jewelry when I'm out to not attract attention either.

SO I rarely get asked for anything.

I've found when I DO dress nicer and DO wear my jewelry (which, thanks to mom and dear husband I have more than I need, thanks) I DO get asked for money.

Problem solved, for me anyway.

 

[rayvt]

I get asked for money by random strangers at least 1-2 times a week. I don't like it at all.

I don't know what to say (I don't give it to them).

There was a bit of advice I heard somewhere years ago. Maybe on youtube.

"Sorry, I can't help you."

It's worked every time for me. They just shrug and walk away.

 

[twin]

I’m in the valley and have been hiking the Maricopa Trail. It’s generally been really safe. Only encountered one section that we had to avoid down by Tres Rios and South Mountain.

Have done from Cave Creek to Lake Pleasant to White Tanks to Estrella to South Mountain etc.

I agree with the other posted who suggested the preserves and parks. If there is an entrance fee, it will keep people looking for money away. I pick up a Maricopa pass for the year and am good to go. Maybe something like that would work? There are a ton of hiking groups in Phoenix - some just for women too!

 

[badatmath]

How about carrying pepper spray when walking. Or bear spray.

My big worry, is large aggressive dogs owned by negligent owners, every now and then there is a news article of some dog killing or severly injuring a person out in public. Often pit bulls, etc..

My friends DOBERMAN was even attacked by an off leash pit bull and seriously injured.

I am seriously rethinking this whole walking plan lately and moving it to a gym.

IDK I'm feeling kind of crappy this week in general tbh so maybe being ridiculous.

 

[badatmath]

Don't dress the part that shows you have money.

I'm F too, and my mom (bless her - she's gone) used to tell me "you need to dress better".

And husband (love him too) says "sometimes you dress like an old man" (because I will purposely mis-match plaids and stuff that doesn't go together).

I wear little jewelry when I'm out to not attract attention either.

SO I rarely get asked for anything.

I've found when I DO dress nicer and DO wear my jewelry (which, thanks to mom and dear husband I have more than I need, thanks) I DO get asked for money.

Problem solved, for me anyway.

If you had met me you'd know it isn't my attire attracting them!

 

[badatmath]

I’m in the valley and have been hiking the Maricopa Trail. It’s generally been really safe. Only encountered one section that we had to avoid down by Tres Rios and South Mountain.

Have done from Cave Creek to Lake Pleasant to White Tanks to Estrella to South Mountain etc.

I agree with the other posted who suggested the preserves and parks. If there is an entrance fee, it will keep people looking for money away. I pick up a Maricopa pass for the year and am good to go. Maybe something like that would work? There are a ton of hiking groups in Phoenix - some just for women too!

I wasn't aware of this. I'm not on FB so I am out of the loop on groups of things mostly.