How often do strangers ask you for money?

[badatmath]

I get asked for money by random strangers at least 1-2 times a week. I don't like it at all.

I don't know what to say (I don't give it to them).

Is there any way I can look more unapproachable to them? Or something I can tell myself that makes me feel less crappy in the moment?

(I am F and find strange men getting too close when no one is around downright creepy). Not to say I like the women better but I mean at least I don't think of them as a potential threat.

It is often at the gas station or a parking lot. Today it was on a walking trail that was mostly deserted.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I'd say "No", but I haven't been asked in years.

 

[rodi]

I get asked, but since I rarely carry cash, I just tell them that and wish them a nice day.

 

[badatmath]

It seems like it has gotten a lot worse the last couple of years. . .

 

[Jerry1]

The gas station is a more likely place to be approached. Not good, but more understandable. Go during the day - that’s what retiree hours are for. The trail is highly concerning. Can you start walking with somebody? Can you carry something to protect yourself like pepper spray?

Not sure what you do to be attracted to, but keep your awareness level high and just keep walking. A simple “no thank you” and keep moving. Might also want to see if there’s any better place to be walking that’s not “mostly deserted”. Please be careful.

 

[GenXguy]

It's probably been 5 years since some stranger asked me for money in a local store parking lot. He looked young like a college student. I rejected him before he could hardly speak. lol

Prior to that, it was probably back in 2009 when I was walking a few blocks from downtown Chicago and a guy walking with a young boy asked me for money. I ignored him as I passed him, but when I looked back, he was looking at me and said something pissed off at me. I think I said I didn't have any.

I have a friend who lives near a rescue mission, and he gets people knocking on his door sometimes asking for money.

 

[timmar]

I get asked, but since I rarely carry cash, I just tell them that and wish them a nice day.

I said that once and the asker replied with "That's OK, there is an ATM around the corner where you can get some cash."

Now it is just a firm "No".

 

[Montecfo]

You must appear friendly. That is not such a bad thing.

Maybe try to limit those situations as I am sure can be uncomfortable.

 

[friar1610]

I was waiting for a train in Boston’s South Station last week. A guy in his 30’s asked me if I could help him out with “a couple of bucks”. A sign that inflation will be around for a while - the last time I was asked it was for “spare change”.

(I’m a male in my 70’s, was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt plus a fleece and a ball cap. Not scruffy but certainly not dressed for success.)

 

[youbet]

I get asked for money by random strangers at least 1-2 times a week. I don't like it at all.

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It happens...... But the frequency you're talking about is far, far out of line. Think about where you're spending time, where you buy gas, etc. Change things up until being approached for money becomes rare.

 

[badatmath]

The gas station is a more likely place to be approached. Not good, but more understandable. Go during the day - that’s what retiree hours are for. The trail is highly concerning. Can you start walking with somebody? Can you carry something to protect yourself like pepper spray?

Not sure what you do to be attracted to, but keep your awareness level high and just keep walking. A simple “no thank you” and keep moving. Might also want to see if there’s any better place to be walking that’s not “mostly deserted”. Please be careful.

Almost all these are prime daytime hours 10 am-2 pm. I don't have anyone who will walk with me as I walk too long and too often. It is not remote as in "wilderness" but has a canal on one side (so no escape) and kind of desolate IMO. It just happens to be somewhere I won't get hit by a car and don't have to drive to.

It happens...... But the frequency you're talking about is far, far out of line. Think about where you're spending time, where you buy gas, etc. Change things up until being approached for money becomes rare.

I don't go anywhere unusual or seedy especially though my neighborhood is not the best. But I mean major chain grocers, big box home improvement centers, gas stations. I am not sulking about bars or even the smaller tackier gas stations that have like 2 pumps. In fact I only buy gas at the chain that gives the police free coffee so there are always police there! And it is large so I do not feel threatened just unhappy. I find even when I drive a bit farther though there are people lurking in the parking lots to ask people for money when they are entering.

I do not feel safe in public parks here unless it is a weekend as they seem to be full of homeless people. Sorry if this offends anyone who has been homeless but I not wish to encounter a drug deal and I have. Might be better off to go at 5 pm when working people got off but it would not suit my preferences much.

My (male) neighbor says he is hit up quite often as well so I don't think it is just cause I look weak but maybe? IDK.

 

[GrayHare]

I get asked for directions routinely, for money, not in 30 years. Maybe it's due to my beat up shoes.

 

[youbet]

I do not feel threatened just unhappy.

If it's only happening in daylight and in places where other people are present, probably your risk is small. But I completely agree with you, what a pita! Here in the Chicago suburbs, the operating mode for these folks is to stand at major intersections, especially those with left turn lanes, and panhandle drivers. The police are not allowed to stop the activity.

My (male) neighbor says he is hit up quite often as well so I don't think it is just cause I look weak but maybe? IDK.

I don't think how you look has much to do with it (unless you appeared threatening to the panhandler). Most of these folks are pro's at the game and just try to keep their "encounters" frequent and their success rate high. Being a successful panhandler would make a good case for inclusion in the Harvard Business Review!

Sadly, someone with dangerous intentions (casing you out for further attention later, for example) might be mixed in with the ordinary panhandlers.

Be thoughtful and aware. Do what you can to keep the number of encounters down.

 

[bbbamI]

Have you considered exercising in your home? There are many workout videos on the internet that can meet your needs.

 

[badatmath]

I get asked for directions routinely, for money, not in 30 years. Maybe it's due to my beat up shoes.

The last person who asked me for money as a gas station had a better car than me!

 

[badatmath]

Have you considered exercising in your home? There are many workout videos on the internet that can meet your needs.

Nope. I need to get out. I stay home way too much as it is. Which is another reason I think it is so odd people seem to swarm to me when I am out!

I may have to quit that walking path though. I did for awhile due to homeless people but it is so convenient. Driving to walk just annoys me. But it is a bit isolated and pretty unpredictable when a person will pass.

 

[scrabbler1]

When I commuted into Manhattan and Jersey City, NJ, in my working days from the mid-1980s through 2008, I was asked for money many times. Some of those times, it was part of larger solicitation inside a train car. But there several one-on-one solicitations, especially when my company had its formal dress code, whereas after that I looked more like a slob.

Out here on LI, it's very rare I get hit up for money. Once in a while in a box store's parking lot. I get asked for directions more often,

 

[ownyourfuture]

Every time I go through the McDonald's drive-thru (about once per month)

 

[Sunset]

I always say: "No Thanks". and keep walking without even slowing down.

I have noticed, these folks hang around grocery store parking lots, as they know they can catch folks loading their trunks.
Here as mentioned above, they are also at stoplights, and even stop signs.

 

[Route246]

The problem is they are having a certain amount of success which reinforces their behavior. If I'm at McDonalds or a grocery store I ask them if they'd take a burger or some fruit and that is usually enough to get them disinterested. They usually want cash for drugs, smokes or booze. One time a guy did say he was hungry and would appreciate a burger. Honesty has value and I asked him if we wanted something to drink to go with it and he said Coke would be fine. Ended up adding it to my order and handed it to him when I left. I'm usually not that generous but when someone tells me the truth I usually give them something. Another time outside a liquor store a guy told me he was real sick and needed a drink. I could see he was suffering from withdrawal and asked him what he preferred. He said a hip flask of anything would be fine but vodka is best. I got him a hip flask of vodka and he thanked me profusely and took off for the park. Probably not the best thing to do for him but he told me the truth so I'm OK with that.

But, parasites just asking for free money will never see a penny from me, in general. I just don't like reinforcing that behavior. I wish others would follow suit when someone asks for money.

 

[latexman]

I got asked today. I had just returned to my car at Walmart and I was putting drops in my eyes. The lady had two kids and a sign. She knocked on the drivers window and held up her sign. I cracked the window and said, “no, sorry about that”. She moved on.

 

[gamboolman]

BAM,

Tell them No.

Be aware of your surroundings and see if there is more than one of them.

As others have recommended, carry Pepper Spray.

Walking on an isolated path alone, especially for a lady is not something I would want ms gamboolgal to do. Can you walk with some other folks?

If I am not with ms gamboolgal, which is very rare, and she goes walking, she will carry her pistol in addition to Pepper Spray. Besides 2 legged Varmints, we have to contend with peoples pet dogs getting loose and being aggressive from time to time.

If you are comfortable, you might consider carrying a weapon. But that's a big step.

You can't tell what a persons intentions are these days.

Be careful.

 

[frank]

in the town where I live a woman was stopped by a panhandler at a stop sign. she asked for money and the woman said she didn't have any. the panhandler said "but I have 4 kids to feed" so the woman gave her some condoms.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

Not very often. One last year, none so far this year. I do not carry small change or small bills anyway. One person hangs around at the Walmart with a sign but never approaches anyone, I have never understood that.

 

[Amethyst]

I would not go near that walking path, pepper spray or no pepper spray. Look, you have been accosted (which is what "asking a stranger for money" is) and have seen homeless people there. So, dodgy people also appreciate its "convenience." It is not a safe environment; its convenience is a lure.