Khan
Gone but not forgotten
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 6,924
Anyone else not communicated with family for several years, then done so and remembered why not?
Anyone else not communicated with family for several years, then done so and remembered why not?
I am in the camp of not having much to do with my family.
I have one sister I have not communicated with for 7 years, no disagreement with her, but I just have nothing in common with her. My mother, might see for lunch once every 3 years or so, but I always leave glad that I don't see her regularly. She is one of those people who is a victim and does nothing but complain so I choose not to join her pity parties.
The way I look at it, it these relationships are an accident of birth, and I choose to spend my time with people I actually like.
I realized I had nothing in common with these people other than birth.
I'm sorry to see so many who are not close to family. My sibs, my niece, a cousin and I are very close, though very different. I talk to at least one of them everyday. I can't imagine being anything other than close to them. It's love, duty, and a whole host of other things that tie us together forever. A degree of respect for each one's foibles, (which are extensive ) keeps us from falling apart.
Anyone else not communicated with family for several years, then done so and remembered why not?
Heck yeah. My father, and my brother, and spouse's parents.I talked to my sister in Dec '03, before Mother died. I reestablished contact in May '09.
I realized I had nothing in common with these people other than birth.
In our families our parents worked more along the lines of "I love you, dammit, and if you love me then you'll do this for me..." Lots of authoritarian dictates and longstanding sibling rivalry with no real understanding of why or effective attempts to ameliorate it. It took us decades to figure out what was going on during our childhoods and how to deal with it.I'm sorry to see so many who are not close to family.
It's love, duty, and a whole host of other things that tie us together forever. A degree of respect for each one's foibles, (which are extensive ) keeps us from falling apart.
In a thread I started about family living in town, I think I bragged about how close we were with many siblings from both sides living in the same metropolitan area.
Well, one of my brothers turned into a ranting raving liberal, and yes, even long after the election outcome, he would not stop cursing and blaming Bush and the Republicans for every problem this country faces. Good grief!
Though I considered myself a centrist and should not care, I couldn't stand it, and had to walk away (there are very few politicians that I hate - I simply do not love any of them, none, zero). After two such recent family get-togethers, which I used to enjoy, I told my wife that I started to think otherwise. It is sad, and I really do not want to feel that way.
PS. A Libertarian friend of mine has the same problem with his siblings, whom he calls ultra-liberals. In family gatherings, they attacked the other side, and with him being a non-Democrat, he said somehow he ended up single-handedly defending Bush. After a few heated "discussions" with fist pounding on the dinner table and yelling and red faces, I asked how they still invited him. He said he didn't know. I think they needed another side in order to have a debate, and lured him into it. I told my wife it was the same with my brother, and I must resist...
I like weird...it keeps me on my toes. If we were all the same.... for me, life would be boring.