It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

[Winemaker]

Maybe it is similar to a kid hollering "mom!" or "dad", when inside a grade school gym, county fair.

 

[Koogie]

What do you cut a large body of water with ?



Why, a sea-saw of course.

 

[Chuckanut]

I'm Catholic and I don't get it

Perhaps it's one of those revisionist Catholic things.

I don't get it either.

 

[Rianne]

Sounds funny, but I don't get it. Could you 'splain it to me?

Everyone has a head, right? (I think that's true). Say you're at a Cardinals game and someone says "hey you with the red shirt." Then Cardinal fans stop and think, "me? I have a red shirt" but EVERYONE has a red shirt.



Isn't that funny?

 

[Nemo2]

Everyone has a head, right? (I think that's true). Say you're at a Cardinals game and someone says "hey you with the red shirt." Then Cardinal fans stop and think, "me? I have a red shirt" but EVERYONE has a red shirt.



Isn't that funny?

Yabbut, it's a rip off of the old "Hey you with the liver" joke.

 

[Rianne]

Yabbut, it's a rip off of the old "Hey you with the liver" joke.

I don't think my DA had a liver.

 

[Nemo2]

I don't think my DA had a liver.

That, perhaps, is why it was modified to 'head'?

 

[Chuckanut]

That, perhaps, is why it was modified to 'head'?

It still doesn't make sense. But then I was one of those people who watched Seinfeld and thought - What is the fuss about? When are they going to do or say something, anything that is funny?

 

[Rianne]

Let me try again,
I went to the store for milk and came home with bananas. How old am I?
No wait,
The train left Chicago at 4:30 at arrived in St. Louis at 6:00, how fast was the train going? Oh, sorry it's funny joke Thursday not math joke Saturday.

 

[Nemo2]

It still doesn't make sense. But then I was one of those people who watched Seinfeld and thought - What is the fuss about? When are they going to do or say something, anything that is funny?

Sense? It's supposed to make SENSE? Oh.

 

[redduck]

 

[NW-Bound]

Another one from Isaac Asimov:

A preacher was describing in graphic terms the events on Judgment Day.

He said "Oh my friends, imagine the suffering of the sinners, as they are cast into eternal flames. Imagine the wailing, weeping, the gnashing of teeth!"

A hand shot up from the congregation. An older gentleman stood up and asked "Reverend Jones, what if the damned have no teeth?"

The preacher cried out with his fist pounding on the pulpit "Is there anything too hard for the Lord? When a soul is sent to perdition, rest assured that teeth will be supplied".

 

[TromboneAl]

I don't think my DA had a liver.

The quality of life depends on the liver.

 

[NW-Bound]

Oh, one's quality of life depends on his/her many organs and body parts, some more important than others of course.

The only thing that is useless is the appendix. Even here, it does not help, but certainly can hurt your quality of life.

 

[Nemo2]

The only thing that is useless is the appendix.

Or perhaps not....

Although it is widely viewed as a vestigial organ with little known function, recent research suggests that the appendix may serve an important purpose. In particular, it may serve as a reservoir for beneficial gut bacteria

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/01/170109162333.htm

 

[NW-Bound]

I remember now reading about this. Does anybody have any proof that people show any ill effects after an appendectomy?

 

[Oz investor]

i can't tell , i still have mine

in fact the only time it has ever been blamed for anything was when i probably had a heart attack ( 30 odd years ago ) ....
i still don't see how a severe lower rib-cage pain ( on the left ) could be a suspected appendicitis symptom , but heck that was a qualified doctor's opinion

( it did help erode my faith in the medical profession though )

 

[MissMolly]

They took out my appendix while inside me to take out a diseased gall bladder. A two-for-one deal I don't seem to miss it and it's been gone almost 40 years.

 

[redduck]

I went to a progressive Catholic High School, 1972-1974. We changed classes so the halls were very crowded after every class, students hurrying to get to their next class. I will never forget one loud, obnoxious girl who yelled "Hey, you with the head!" Nearly everyone stopped walking and looked side to side.

Sounds funny, but I don't get it. Could you 'splain it to me?

I'm Catholic and I don't get it

Maybe this will help: Suppose you're watching a coming-of-age movie. The scene is a very crowded high school hallway. A loud, large, obnoxious and terribly unattractive girl at the back of the hall bellows loudly, "Hey you with the small penis, turn around!!!" And, everybody does. Then, they all look at each other rather sheepishly.

 

[Nemo2]

Then, they all look at each other rather sheepishly.

Especially the girls.

 

[Rianne]

Oh, one's quality of life depends on his/her many organs and body parts, some more important than others of course.

The only thing that is useless is the appendix. Even here, it does not help, but certainly can hurt your quality of life.

The appendix is useless until it bursts. Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but mine burst. Then, suddenly it becomes kind of important. I said after that experience and 3 days in the hospital...every man woman and child should have their appendix removed as soon as possible.

Picture this, traveling out in the middle of no where, appendix bursts. If you'd had it removed, say at birth, no problem, this would not happen. But if you ignore it or can't get to a hospital or surgeon fast enough? I hope you had a happy, loving and rewarding life because it's time to say good bye.

 

[MichaelB]

What happened to the funny jokes?

 

[REWahoo]

The appendix is useless until it bursts. Don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but mine burst. Then, suddenly it becomes kind of important. I said after that experience and 3 days in the hospital...every man woman and child should have their appendix removed as soon as possible.

Picture this, traveling out in the middle of no where, appendix bursts. If you'd had it removed, say at birth, no problem, this would not happen. But if you ignore it or can't get to a hospital or surgeon fast enough? I hope you had a happy, loving and rewarding life because it's time to say good bye.

I was going to post this in the "What did you do today?" thread, but this is such a great lead-in I'm going to post it here.

50 years ago today, my bride of two days and I were on our honeymoon. On our wedding night she started complaining of a pain in her side. It came and went over the next 24 hours but got bad enough that on day two I took her to seek medical attention. Yep, the morning of day three she had her appendix removed.

This was in a small-town hospital where everyone knew me. The nurses stuck a sign on the door her room: "The Honeymoon Suite".

 

[REWahoo]

What happened to the funny jokes?

Hey, everyone but my wife thought it was funny!

 

[Rianne]

What happened to the funny jokes?

Funny is in the eye of the beholder. REWahoo took my story and made it funny.