It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

[braumeister]

Seasonal humor

 

[ls99]

 

[ls99]

On a Septic Tank Truck:


Yesterday's Meals on Wheels



At an Optometrist's Office:


"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”

A local guy with a pink septic truck: Poopologist

 

[Music Lover]

Make sure sound is on:

 

[TromboneAl]

Make sure sound is on:

It's funny, but it's fake. That sound isn't coming from the trombone. The movements of the slide don't match the change in pitch. I don't doubt that the people are hearing the guy play, but the video has dubbed sound.

The trombone isn't assembled correctly, and that guy doesn't know how to play it.

 

[Christine]

It's funny, but it's fake. That sound isn't coming from the trombone. The movements of the slide don't match the change in pitch. I don't doubt that the people are hearing the guy play, but the video has dubbed sound.

The trombone isn't assembled correctly, and that guy doesn't know how to play it.

If I invited you along in my electric car could you do it?



I've never tried that instrument so genuinely curious...

 

[Callitaday2022]

Love C&H

 

[braumeister]

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
He asks "What for?"
She says "I want to kill my husband."
He says "Sorry, I can't do that."

She then reaches into her handbag and pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.
He says "You didn't tell me you had a prescription ..."

 

[Squirrel]

If you aren't screaming "BARTENDER!" at your husband all day, are you really enjoying Mother's Day?

 

[REWahoo]

A pfunny news article:

Game of groans: Wordplay reigns at O. Henry pun championship

“Doctor, I’m in love with you,” he started. “Actually, I’m abscessed. Now, I don’t want to throw off your arrhythmia but if you’ll do me the fever of tumor minutes of your time. Strep yourself in while I call up the relevant inflammation.”

 

[frayne]

My doctor once asked me if my family suffered from mental illness. I told him, actually we rather enjoy it !

 

[Nemo2]

 

[MichaelB]

A pfunny news article:

Game of groans: Wordplay reigns at O. Henry pun championship

You must have been a finalist

 

[REWahoo]

Decided to join in on the tatoo craze and get myself one:

 

[TromboneAl]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxvQKioFLin/?igshid=glpmxm5n3cu0

 

[Walt34]

The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.
He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”

“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.
"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"
The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.

"What seems to be the problem, sir?"

"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

 

[TromboneAl]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxVvrcdAuND/?igshid=m76j45zeonp3

 

[TromboneAl]

A sophisticated joke:

"What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?"
"What?"
"You have a vowel movement."

 

[Keim]

A sophisticated joke:

"What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?"
"What?"
"You have a vowel movement."

I'm tired of your vowel sense of humor, T-Al.

 

[Winemaker]

A sophisticated joke:

"What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?"
"What?"
"You have a vowel movement."

Yeah, I concur with Keim, take a spell, Al!

 

[MichaelB]

Maybe we should all mind our P’s and Q’s.

 

[Keim]

Maybe we should all mind our P’s and Q’s.

and sometimes Y's!

 

[Nemo2]

Yes, I can see the problem with consonantly going to the can.

 

[SecondCor521]

A sophisticated joke:

"What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?"
"What?"
"You have a vowel movement."

I don't get it.

I'm afraid you're going to have to spell it out for me.

 

[cbo111]

Not a joke

This is a piece of artwork I saw during a recent visit to my gastro doc.