It's funny joke Thursday! 2005 - 2020

[braumeister]

If I thought it was for real, I wouldn't have put it in the joke thread.

 

[Lawrencewendall]

Elderly Exercise

This

 

[braumeister]

 

[calmloki]

True tale: a couple days ago I was scrubbing out a pan while the gal was making lunch - open faced grilled cheese and soup. She likes to get the cheese bubbling by putting the cast iron griddle pan under the gas broiler after toasting the bottom of the bread in the pan on the stovetop. She finished and plated the food and took it away. I still had lots of soap suds and looked around to see if there was anything else to wash. Noted that the cast iron griddle handle was sticking out into the room so I grabbed it to move it. And let go REAL fast. Luckily, my wet hand was covered in soap foam, which made a particular noise as it all popped but probably protected me. Still burned, so I stuck my fingers in my mouth. And got a nice mouthful of detergent flavour. Cracked me up.

 

[frayne]

Donation


Father O'Malley answers the phone.

'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'

 

[TromboneAl]

Some jokes I saw on a menu:

Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings, I let her sleep in.

 

[TromboneAl]

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

 

[TromboneAl]

Travel is educational: I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven languages.

 

[TromboneAl]

Incontinence Hotline: Can you hold?

 

[TromboneAl]

My wife went to self-help group for compulsive talkers. It's called "On an' On Anon."

 

[TromboneAl]

Veni, Vidi, Velcro: I came, I saw, I stuck around.

 

[TromboneAl]

I always wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

 

[brewer12345]

You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute...

 

[calmloki]

blind man walked into a bar. and a table. and a chair.

 

[NW-Bound]

An irony: duct tape should not be used on ducts, though it is useful for other purposes.

You don't believe this? See: https://servicechampions.com/why-duct-tape-should-never-be-used-to-seal-air-ducts/

 

[TromboneAl]

An irony: duct tape should not be used on ducts, though it is useful for other purposes.

You don't believe this? See: https://servicechampions.com/why-duct-tape-should-never-be-used-to-seal-air-ducts/

Wow. Plus, it was originally called duck tape!

 

[brewer12345]

Did you know the chicken is the only species of animal that eats with its pecker?

 

[Car-Guy]

Ronald Reagan telling jokes about the Soviet's, back in the day. I heard the first one on FOX news yesterday.. Pretty funny.

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Rianne]

Two turtles went into a bar and ordered whiskey. One turtle asked the bartender if whiskey would make him faster. The bartender said "no, but it will make you come out of your shell."

 

[TromboneAl]

 

[TromboneAl]

The Fake Plane Challenge:

https://twitter.com/x/status/1098963420626472960

 

[roadyrunner]

 

[brewer12345]

.

 

[brewer12345]

My wife went to self-help group for compulsive talkers. It's called "On an' On Anon."

Along the same lines...