Less stuff more happiness

[lightspeed]

That's a nice letter, T-Al. I am telling people to please consider gifts to others who may be less fortunate than us, instead of giving us gifts. When people do feel like they have to give us something, I hint that we enjoy wine (at least it won't clutter our house after drinking). I was recently invited to a wedding where the couple asked only for favorite recipes, which i thought was a great idea.

 

[TromboneAl]

Response from Sister #1:

That is fine. It is great that you have everything you need. Most of us do. It's not a bad idea for all of us this Christmas. What do you think? Maybe just the kids get presents this year. One of the hard things is sending big packages off that cost more than what is in box. Something to think about. What do you all think about this idea?

Love you!!


Carol​

 

[brewer12345]

I got (verbal) crap over DW's email this morning from one of my sisters. Guilt trips are not what the season is about, sis.

 

[TromboneAl]

Response from Sister 2:

what about Jenny?

to which my reply was "That's between you and Jenny."

 

[W2R]

Response from Sister #1:

That is fine. It is great that you have everything you need. Most of us do. It's not a bad idea for all of us this Christmas. What do you think? Maybe just the kids get presents this year. One of the hard things is sending big packages off that cost more than what is in box. Something to think about. What do you all think about this idea?

Love you!!


Carol
​

Great response, Al - - she sounds almost relieved that you brought this up.

 

[Khan]

Yes, all of you are right about making the email more positive and loving (and politically correct). I will try that (or may just forget the whole thing).

The problem is that the response to "We love you but we don't need presents." is "Well, we want to give you presents anyway." The response to "We love you but your presents are crap and we just throw away." is "OK, you won't get any damn presents from us."

After a neutral statement, I have found that not sending gifts/cards eventually leads to not receiving such.

 

[Nuiloa]

I think that there might be less risk of possibly being hurtful, if you made it shorter and more friendly sounding. Heavy on the love, light on the "we can't stand the stinkin' presents you buy". Something like, "Lena and I love you dearly, but we are trying to cut back and find the true meaning of Christmas. So this year, and on in the future, we aren't exchanging Christmas presents any more with any of our relatives. We'd love to continue exchanging cards at Christmas and birthdays, but not presents so thanks in advance for understanding and not sending any."

What she said

I'm not sure I'd like to get a letter that describes my previous gifts as a) clutter and b) probably re-gifts

 

[nun]

I've given a ton of stuff to Goodwill this year and continue to get rid of things. I've also done this for my hobby and annual vacations that I take on my bike.
Here's my transportation and everything that I need to live on the road indefinitely; sleeping bag, pad, tent, cooking equipment, clothes etc. I can get my needs down to a total weight of 48lbs and it will be even less with a new bike, I'm still accumulating those.

Also I own a 2 family, but I live in the bigger apartment. So, I'll be swapping when the current tenants move out. Smaller space, lower utilities and at least $600 more a month in rent.

 

[clifp]

I am mom's who "downsized" from 1900' house to 1680' 2bdr and den apartment in there retirement. However, with a garage a storage unit it doesn't feel like much of downsize.

I love the idea of house cooling party, something which I will do for mom and myself some day.

On the other hand reading this board and the anti consumerism always makes me want to sell all consumer stocks I own. Luckily I remind myself that this is a weird group.

 

[haha]

I am mom's who "downsized" from 1900' house to 1680' 2bdr and den apartment in there retirement. However, with a garage a storage unit it doesn't feel like much of downsize.

I love the idea of house cooling party, something which I will do for mom and myself some day.

On the other hand reading this board and the anti consumerism always makes me want to sell all consumer stocks I own. Luckily I remind myself that this is a weird group.

Relax, many of us do not practice what we preach. Anticonsumerism is like any other religion. It is mostly honored in the breach.

Ha

 

[Moemg]

Al, Do what I do make up an excuse . Since Jenny is getting older and we will soon be straddled with Sil's and extended family we think it's time to cut back on our Christmas giving . Maybe we could draw names or just exchange cards or a homemade goodie ?

 

[Nords]

... or just exchange cards or a homemade goodie ?

Is this like the families that mail the same cards and/or fruitcakes back & forth for decades?

 

[happy2bretired]

Since I semi-funded a wedding this year and I've acquired a new son-in-law, I'm not giving much this year. My daughter and new husband are pinching pennies right now so I've decided to wrap some simple household products such as soap, dishwashing powder, shampoo etc, just for the fun of guessing what the items are and having more packages to unwrap.

I will probably just spend about $75 apiece for presents then give them about $150 each in cash. If I start at a low amount, I'm hoping as the years go by, I can increase my giving to them and their future children.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I will probably just spend about $75 apiece for presents then give them about $150 each in cash. If I start at a low amount, I'm hoping as the years go by, I can increase my giving to them and their future children.

Whoa, that is starting low? Is there an application available for adoption? I'm interested in applying!

 

[Nords]

Whoa, that is starting low? Is there an application available for adoption? I'm interested in applying!

Do you really want us to get into a discussion of how much a dollar was worth way back when we were "starting low"?

 

[kcowan]

I guess I was lucky coming from an old Scottish family. Also being the youngest son of the youngest son of 8. Nobody wanted to exchange anything but warm wishes.

But the accumulation of stuff stopped in 1995 when we severely downsized to a 1BR Apt. It started to grow again when we moved to a 3BR penthouse and then again when we acquired a condo in the sun. But home swaps force us to keep some cupboards empty and we have a rule that, when something new comes in, something old goes out. Most people say that we are amazingly "light".

But the real test was when the grandchildren came along. Each year we contribute to their education. No gifts but hugs and kisses.

 

[Free To Canoe]

... She also wears perfumes that turn me on, so when she is getting low and wants to continue with that scent she might tell me and I'll pick it up for Christmas or some other occasion. For for her giving to me, I'm like the Big Bopper.

Like the thread and TED. Thanks

 

[happy2bretired]

Whoa, that is starting low? Is there an application available for adoption? I'm interested in applying!

When I was still living with my parents we had a $10 limit...many years ago. When I married, my in-laws started giving $$ at Christmas to the sons and daughters-in-law (six people). That was a shock to my system, since no one had done that to me before. The in-laws also gave all the grandkids (5 grandkids) $$ every Christmas. I know that I won't ever go THAT high.

 

[Nuiloa]

Just venting a bit:

We have always exchanged gifts. My mom would send me checks to buy gifts for my bro, SIL and nephew and vice versa. It was fun.

My nephew just got married this year and is complaining non-stop about the cost of living in a new house, having 3 cars, hobbies, etc. Saving money is not even on the radar. He informed us that he will not be giving any gifts this year, but is highly put out that we said that it was probably time that we stopped exchanging anyhow, now that mom has passed. "Precious" wants gifts (and only high-end stuff) - he just doesn't want to give gifts. He also doesn't want to come over on xmas morning but asked us to cart his gifts over to his in-laws so he could open them there.

Not going to happen.

Where do some people get their sense of entitlement

 

[freebird5825]

Nuiola
Give him the eternal gift of the "Bronx cheer".

 

[haha]

Guilt trips are not what the season is about, sis.

Are you quite sure of that? I have a feeling that without guilt the commercial side of Christmas would be kaput, along with at least half of the non-grocery retail space in America. Unfortunately, the commercial side is most of what remains of Christmas.

Ha

 

[brewer12345]

.

Are you quite sure of that? I have a feeling that without guilt the commercial side of Christmas, which is moshat remains of Christmas, would be kaput, along with at least half of the non-grocery retail space in America.

Ha

Could be. Funniest thing is that I am probably the most active Catholic of my siblings so you would think I would be the most wedded to the traditional trappings

 

[Chuckanut]

What those who wish to celebrate the spirit of Christmas should do is this:

Declare Dec. 25 as Merchandiser's Day. Let people who buy, buy, buy and stress out over gifts have their feast.

Then, return to celebrating the traditional 12 days of Christmas. Give a small present every few days, visit friends and relatives, worhsip as you see fit, enjoy life!

 

[TromboneAl]

What those who wish to celebrate the spirit of Christmas should do is this:

Declare Dec. 25 as Merchandiser's Day. Let people who buy, buy, buy and stress out over gifts have their feast.

Then, return to celebrating the traditional 12 days of Christmas. Give a small present every few days, visit friends and relatives, worhsip as you see fit, enjoy life!

Not a bad idea actually. We've kind of done that already. Dec 25 is merchandiser's day, and Thanksgiving is the non-commercial holiday. Or is it eat a lot and watch football day?

 

[deserat]

T-Al - thanks for the laughs on this thread - loved the approach of be nice and they just pooh-pooh you - be mean and they shut down Sounds like it all worked out well in the end.