MOUTHWATERING flavors of spicy ripe raspberry, cherry, and boysenberry

[MichaelB]

An Avon saleslady was alone in an elevator, when she passed gas. The resulting stench being nearly unbearable, she reached into her sample kit, and proceeded to spray some pine-scented aerosol to mask the odor.

Shortly thereafter, the elevator stopped, and a fellow passenger boarded. As the elevator continued its journey, the fellow passenger sniffed the air a couple of times, then commented about the strange odor.

The Avon lady inquired, “What does the odor remind you of?”

To which the other passenger replied, “Smells like somebody **** a Christmas tree...”

 

[Winemaker]

Now that joke is worth a bottle of wine!!!

 

[TromboneAl]

Okay, you ready?

I got the wine at The Dollar Store!

 

[Winemaker]

And you're disappointed at what.....the description on the label or the wine?

 

[COcheesehead]

And you're disappointed at what.....the description on the label or the wine?

It had to be all sugar and alcohol. Rot gut.

If you want to go cheap, its usually better to have a cheap beer than a cheap wine.

 

[ERD50]

...

If you want to go cheap, its usually better to have a cheap beer than a cheap wine.

Given that choice, I'll go for tap water. Rather than bad taste, you at least get neutral taste, and no calories.

-ERD50

 

[calmloki]

Now my palate is so finely tuned I can tell "red" from "white" in wines, but I gotta say $3 Chuck Merlot or Cab isn't nasty tasting at all. My normal when dining out is water and home is some version of hard liquor with fuzzy water and ice. Not much of an epicure.

 

[TromboneAl]

Haven't tried it yet.

 

[audreyh1]

Okay, this takes the cake. On a bottle of cheap white wine:

The wine opens with aromas of daffodil, pear and apples, and hits of freshly baked French bread. Flavors range from peach to lemon tart and crème fraiche with a rich mid-palate texture and a finish of grapefruit and green apple.

OMG! That really is ridiculous!

It wasn’t the Cupcake wine label was it? (“Takes the cake!”) Your Dollar Store bottle is probably cheaper than Cupcake. Their descriptions are not quite as extensive but getting there...

PFALZ
RIESLING
Our Riesling is a zesty, fruit-forward wine from vineyards in Germany’s celebrated Pfalz region. Delightful flavors of lemon, fresh peach, ripe honeydew and white cherry dance on the tongue and lead to a creamy mouthfeel. Balanced with bright citrus and a hint of sweetness, this wine finishes with a zesty thirst-quenching zing. Enjoy with bacon-wrapped figs, goat cheese and pear pizza or a porch swing with a friend.

Disclaimer: I have never tasted Cupcake wine. I hate cupcakes, so the label always turned me off. Rumors are it’s on the sweet side and targeted to people who like soft drinks.

 

[Winemaker]

My take on the above Rieslng is that it is a semi-dry-semi-sweet wine. It mentions "zesty", "lemon", "bright citrus", "zesty thirst-quenching zing", leading me to believe it is on the lower pH scale, meaning higher in acid. Probably fermented very cold to keep the fruit aromas in, and either had fermentation stopped early, or had unfermented sweet juice added (most likely). Cupcake is just a marketing name, does make "dry wines" but like a lot of wines, has some residual sugar to counteract the acid. It is an entry level brand, and is less daunting than a $30 Duckhorn. BTW, what is a duckhorn?

 

[Winemaker]

Okay, you ready?

I got the wine at The Dollar Store!

That also reminds me of the other thread you had about stomach/acid issues. Come on Al, step up to the plate! You can't drink plonk and not suffer the results!

 

[HFWR]

BTW, what is a duckhorn?

A hairstyle from the 50s?

 

[Winemaker]

A hairstyle from the 50s?

I thought those were called DA's, from Duck A$$!

 

[TromboneAl]

For lunch, I paired the Dollar Store wine with a succulent cutthroat trout fillet, encrusted with delicious lite salt and Bob's liquid smoke. The trout had a bouquet of fresh fish with a crunchy finish and a hint of fast-running mountain stream:

It wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be.

I did a blind taste test with Lena between the $1 wine and a airplane bottle of Barefoot Pinto Grigio. She liked he PG better, but thought they were both okay (whole bottle of $1 wine was cheaper than the small bottle of PG).

Later she said that the $1 wine was undrinkable.

 

[scrinch]

I'm guessing that the problem here is with the pairing rather than the wine itself. This sort of wine gets better marks when paired with fish from a slow-moving acrid swamp rather than a fast-flowing mountain stream. In that case, as Jack Aubrey says, it would represent the lesser of two weevils, and it would delight the palate in comparison to the mud-flavored fish.

 

[Winemaker]

You made some swell choices there, Al! A dollar bottle of wine with fresh trout on fine china, and then compared it to Barefoot PINTO Grigio. It might not have tasted like horse pee if had PINOT Grigio!

 

[TromboneAl]

It would probably go well with roadkill, too.

The label on the wine is quite nice and there are no typos. I wonder if it had been designed to be sold in dollar stores. More likely, there was some problem (e.g. someone spilled paint thinner in the wine vats), and the bankrupted company sold their useless inventory to the dollar store.

 

[Winemaker]

Although I hate anything from the NYT, here is a link to a story about the reason you genetic mutants cannot enjoy a glass of wine, plate of beets, or lily of the valley fragrance.



https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/03/science/smell-odors-people-scientists.html