mountainsoft
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
As many of you know, my mom had a minor stroke in May. She was in a rehab center for over a month, learning to speak and use her right arm again. We moved her to an assisted living home at the end of June, assuming she would need ongoing care for the rest of her life. We had no idea she would make so much progress in such a short amount of time.
Right now, she is not using most of the "assistance" in the home. She handles bathing, dressing, toileting, etc. on her own. She hates the food they serve, so we take her shopping and she gets things she can eat in her own room (obviously not the healthiest choices since she can't cook in her apartment). She rarely participates in any of their social activities and has never used any of their transportation services.
Assisted living is very expensive so all she could afford was a small one room studio (that's all that was available anyway). She frequently complains about not having space to move around, no privacy, and wants to be more independent. All she really does is sit and watch TV all day anyway. The facility currently handles her medications, but she wants to handle her own meds too. All they are really doing now is checking in on her daily and doing weekly housekeeping.
At this point I don't see any reason why she couldn't manage on her own, especially if we help out periodically or hire part time in-home care.
On the other hand, it has only been a bit over two months since she had her stroke. So, I'm a little apprehensive about moving so quickly, not knowing how she'll do long term. Of course, none of us know what tomorrow will bring.
Above all, I just want mom to be happy. She doesn't like where she is now, but doesn't want to move back home with a large home and yard to maintain. She would like a small apartment closer to us where she can live her own life. It would certainly be less expensive in the coming years.
So I'm a little torn about what to do. She could have another stroke tomorrow, but she could live another 10-15 years in a place she is not happy in. It seems like such as waste to pay for assisted living if she is not utilizing the assistance. If she wants to live on her own, doesn't she have the right to do that?
What would you do?
Right now, she is not using most of the "assistance" in the home. She handles bathing, dressing, toileting, etc. on her own. She hates the food they serve, so we take her shopping and she gets things she can eat in her own room (obviously not the healthiest choices since she can't cook in her apartment). She rarely participates in any of their social activities and has never used any of their transportation services.
Assisted living is very expensive so all she could afford was a small one room studio (that's all that was available anyway). She frequently complains about not having space to move around, no privacy, and wants to be more independent. All she really does is sit and watch TV all day anyway. The facility currently handles her medications, but she wants to handle her own meds too. All they are really doing now is checking in on her daily and doing weekly housekeeping.
At this point I don't see any reason why she couldn't manage on her own, especially if we help out periodically or hire part time in-home care.
On the other hand, it has only been a bit over two months since she had her stroke. So, I'm a little apprehensive about moving so quickly, not knowing how she'll do long term. Of course, none of us know what tomorrow will bring.
Above all, I just want mom to be happy. She doesn't like where she is now, but doesn't want to move back home with a large home and yard to maintain. She would like a small apartment closer to us where she can live her own life. It would certainly be less expensive in the coming years.
So I'm a little torn about what to do. She could have another stroke tomorrow, but she could live another 10-15 years in a place she is not happy in. It seems like such as waste to pay for assisted living if she is not utilizing the assistance. If she wants to live on her own, doesn't she have the right to do that?
What would you do?