Poll:The Grand Entrance: Hug, Kiss, Handshake or other?

[easysurfer]

I met up with some old acquaintances from grade school last night for dinner. When I arrived, we were already about 30 minutes past the 1 hour window arrival time so about 7 people were already there and chatting.

When I found their table, I made eye contact, gave a good smile and said hello, then made my way to an open seat. Before sitting down, the person sitting next to me got up so we gave each other a hug.

Then I was thinking to myself, did I just do a faux pas? Should I have went around the table and greeted and hugged everyone individually before sitting down? Now, looks like I gave one person more attention? Or was what I did okay, considering the area was kind of tight as I really didn't want to interrupt their conversation and put too much spotlight on me (the introvert in me)?

Later I observed, there's no hard and fast rules. One classmate who later arrived, greeted everyone, kissing the women on the cheek and shaking every guy's hand. One guy who hasn't seen me in years, when he saw me was ecstatic, gave me a big big bear hug (I really thought I might pass out). The funny part is took me about 10 minutes to remember who he was.

So, how to you approach your grand entrance? Hug, Kiss, Handshake or other (I left to option to choose more than one). I'm thinking of social settings and not business. Plus, I'm sure there are varying circumstances like how well you know each other. Feel free to add details.

 

[Texas Proud]

It makes a difference i how well you know or knew them...

I would never do a kiss to someone I did not know well or was not expecting it (culture)....

And if I were late, I would not require everybody to stop what they were doing to acknowledge me by some 'formal' greeting... I would do like you, just a 'Hi' to everybody and find a seat..

You had someone who wished to expand on that greeting... of course you should not be rude to them... since you did not initiate it, there is no reason to do it to everybody....



Having said that.... all situations are different.... no one size fits all....

 

[Fedup]

I see no faux pas here. You were just returning a hug. I don't know what I would do. If it's really somebody I remember, I would give that person a hug.

 

[euro]

It makes a difference i how well you know or knew them...

I would never do a kiss to someone I did not know well or was not expecting it (culture)....

And if I were late, I would not require everybody to stop what they were doing to acknowledge me by some 'formal' greeting... I would do like you, just a 'Hi' to everybody and find a seat..

You had someone who wished to expand on that greeting... of course you should not be rude to them... since you did not initiate it, there is no reason to do it to everybody....



Having said that.... all situations are different.... no one size fits all....

+1 Don't care for hugging and kissing folks I barely know

 

[W2R]

Here in New Orleans, people usually kiss other New Orleanians (and sometimes others) hello and goodbye. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" so I do the kiss hello and goodbye thing too.

I wouldn't have gone around the table to greet/kiss everybody, since they had already sat down, and in your situation would have limited it to the person next to me who stood up, as you did. Later I would have gone around to kiss most of them goodbye when leaving as everyone is milling around and doing the same.


I can think of some men who would have gone around the table to kiss everyone. I think it's a personal choice of theirs.

I would never do a kiss to someone I did not know well or was not expecting it (culture)

+1

If it is family or extended family, or somebody you know, one kisses them hello or goodbye on the cheek (here). If it is a business associate at a working lunch, for example, that would be inappropriate.

Generally I don't initiate it myself and tend to hover and act like "maybe". But everyone else initiates this type of greeting whether I do or not. So, I can get through the kiss hello/goodbye thing without feeling like the aggressor.

Frank's uncle is a native of New Orleans as Frank is. He kissed me hello the very first time we met (almost 20 years ago), with a warm, welcoming look in his eye and a little hug and an "I am SO glad to finally meet you." That conveyed to me that I was completely accepted because Frank had chosen to bring us together. It made me feel like part of the family.

 

[grasshopper]

We are all huggers where I live.

 

[Bir48die]

I'm a hugger. However, I will shake a hand the first time then go in for the kill when it's time to go.

 

[easysurfer]

Thanks for the feedback.

I'm more of a hugger than I used to be. Especially when saying goodbye. But in either case, play things by ear as there subconscious calculations going on in my head like I don't want to be rude, respect the other person's personal space and other stuff too like proximity and how much in a rush are they to leave. Lots of variables .

 

[Fedup]

I had a boss, relatively young, maybe 50ish, he had a fondness for hugging young females working for him. It made me really uncomfortable, especially she was later on promoted.

 

[Sojourner]

I've become more of a hugger in recent years, whereas in my early adult years I would invariably default to handshakes. I initiated hugs with two good high school friends I met up with recently (both male, as am I), and they seemed quite receptive to this.

As for kissing... not a fan. The only people I want putting their lips on my face, or vice versa, are very close friends and family members. Kissing and/or being kissed by random acquaintances and others seems like a recipe for more widespread transmission of infectious disease. OK, yes, I'm a bit of a germophobe (which I just recently found out is known more technically as mysophobia). Hmm, maybe this is also why I prefer hugs to handshakes. Seems like hugs would be "cleaner" on the virus/bacteria/germ transmission scale than handshakes.

 

[W2R]

As for kissing... not a fan. The only people I want putting their lips on my face, or vice versa, are very close friends and family members. Kissing and/or being kissed by random acquaintances and others seems like a recipe for more widespread transmission of infectious disease.

The way most people do the hello/goodbye kiss here, you probably wouldn't mind so much. There is no saliva involved, and generally the lips do not actually touch the cheek (especially if a woman is wearing lipstick). Generally the two cheeks touch for a fraction of a second but stop 1/4" or so short of actually having lips on cheek. It's more just a polite fleeting gesture than actually a big ol' wet slobbery kiss.

 

[mickeyd]

Not a hugger. No fancy handshakes. Traditional firm grasp as I look them directly in the eye. Why mess with perfection?

 

[easysurfer]

The way most people do the hello/goodbye kiss here, you probably wouldn't mind so much. There is no saliva involved, and generally the lips do not actually touch the cheek (especially if a woman is wearing lipstick). Generally the two cheeks touch for a fraction of a second but stop 1/4" or so short of actually having lips on cheek. It's more just a polite fleeting gesture than actually a big ol' wet slobbery kiss.

I did slobber on someone (not former classmate, but other friend) before unintentionally. Ooops . But to my defense, she (and the others their initiated tilting their faces).

 

[bbbamI]

Hugs...? Bring 'em on!

Need to add, DH and his buds do the hand grasp, shoulder bump and slap on back thing. I get the full embrace. Yeppers, I love hugs.

 

[6miths]

I find hugs are more common now usually by themselves with female friends and accompanied by a handshake with male friends. Due to infectious disease hysteria and sometimes cultural considerations, the handshake has largely fallen out of favour in my day to day experience when meeting new people. All that practice as a kid wasted!!

 

[easysurfer]

Here's a video/article on some science (or strategy) about the hug/kiss/handshake:

If you aren’t sure what type of greeting you should use, choose the one that you feel is most appropriate for the situation. In my book, Captivate, I explain how touch plays a role in different social environments. Armed with that information, you can strategically decide how to greet people based on the impression you want to make.

How to Know if Someone is Going to Give You a Handshake or a Hug - Science of People

Knowing, kinda ruins the awkward fun though.

 

[aja8888]

Where I was raised (New England), handshakes are what I recall as the norm for greetings. Down in the South here, I get the feeling that hugs and cheek kisses are more common in non business situations.

When I was back in CT a month ago on a rare family and friends visit for me, I saw an old (time wise) girlfriend of mine who I have communicated with over the years via e-mail. We greeted with a warm hug, but she was special to me once upon a time and seeing her again was special.

 

[splitwdw]

Due to migraines and sensitivity to certain smells, I'd rather shake a hand if I have to. There are some people that LOVE their cologne/perfume and wear too much. One friend must bath in it. Before I finally stopped him, he would give you a big hug and you wore his cologne for the rest of the evening.

 

[6miths]

Due to migraines and sensitivity to certain smells, I'd rather shake a hand if I have to. There are some people that LOVE their cologne/perfume and wear too much. One friend must bath in it. Before I finally stopped him, he would give you a big hug and you wore his cologne for the rest of the evening.

Oh absolutely. Not 'sensitive' to scents but don't really have to be in the case of some people. Can take that one over to the pet peeves list. I feel for you and am thankful for the restrictions in place where there are such.

 

[FIREd]

Hugging/kissing only for family and very close friends. Handshakes for acquaintances and strangers.

 

[donheff]

I would probably do about what you did. Alternatively, if I wasn't sure who most of them were I might just introduce myself to the table and sit down.

 

[CaliKid]

Great question. It really is case by case in my opinion. Handshake or hug are good but I am not much of a kisser.

 

[Gumby]

Handshakes - always with other men. With women, handshake only if they offer their hand first.

 

[Ronstar]

Handshakes for men. Hugs for women I know well. Handshakes for women I don't know well.

 

[rodi]

I tend to follow the cue of the partner in the greeting dance.... I'm not much of a hugger in an acquaintance situation... but don't mind a hug when it's a good friend or old friend I haven't seen in a while.

I definitely don't sweep into a room hugging everyone.... I'd rather sneak in, assess the room, seating, who's there... and then strategically pick who I want to talk to or sit by. LOL.