Senior Sayings

[mickeyd]

"I'm compressing my morbidity."

"Aging is a process that allows you to surrender the things that matter LEAST, and take hold of what matters MOST."

 

[Rianne]

"Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art."
Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[Car-Guy]

"Get off my lawn"

 

[VanWinkle]

"Dryer than a popcorn fart", my DW.

 

[Gumby]

Why did I come in here and where are my glasses?

 

[steelyman]

“Is this thing on?”

 

[ls99]

Too bad youth is wasted on the youth.

IIRC by G. B. Shaw.

 

[steelyman]

Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste.

- Bonnie Raitt (b. 1949)

 

[cbo111]

"I can poop, pee, and eat, so I'm doing ok."

 

[Red Badger]

Sitting upright and taking nourishment on my own? Another great day!

 

[candrew]

It's colder than a well diggers ass.

 

[Lcountz]

"When I was a kid, we (or, we never)_____________________(fill in the blank).

 

[CaptTom]

...Uphill...through the snow...both ways...

 

[Dtail]

Have I shown you a picture of my grandchildren?

 

[Nemo2]

...Uphill...through the snow...both ways...

Luxury!

 

[Midpack]

My Dad always used to say “too soon old, too late smart.” Seems more true with every passing year.

Buddy of mine used to say, when we’re young we check for ‘phone, wallet, keys’ before leaving home. When we’re old it’s ‘phone, wallet, keys, zipper.’ I might add ‘glasses.’

 

[sheldon cornped]

Bullshirt. You're not getting OLD you're getting OLD-ER!!

 

[candrew]

...Uphill...through the snow...both ways...

Luxury!

I expect that the 4 Yorkshiremen will eventually make an appearance on this thread.

 

[Nemo2]

I expect that the 4 Yorkshiremen will eventually make an appearance on this thread.

I thought I'd already entrenched them.

 

[aja8888]

Never trust a fart while in bed... (especially true for older folks)

 

[rk911]

guy asks me, “How are ya?”
i answer, “I’m vertical AND aware of it!”

 

[Tree-dweller]

My doctor wanted urine, blood, and stool samples, so I gave him my underwear. (insert rimshot here)

 

[marko]

Buddy of mine used to say, when we’re young we check for ‘phone, wallet, keys’ before leaving home. When we’re old it’s ‘phone, wallet, keys, zipper.’ I might add ‘glasses.’

A variation: "Watch, wallet, spectacles, test*cles"

 

[davismills]

My Dad always used to say “too soon old, too late smart.” Seems more true with every passing year.

Buddy of mine used to say, when we’re young we check for ‘phone, wallet, keys’ before leaving home. When we’re old it’s ‘phone, wallet, keys, zipper.’ I might add ‘glasses.’

It's so bad at my house that DW and I have to frisk each other to make sure we have the keys, wallets, etc.

 

[Car-Guy]

It's so bad at my house that DW and I have to frisk each other to make sure we have the keys, wallets, etc.

Maybe that could be counted "as an occurrence" on the sexual frequency poll that was recently started.