Single - I hate the word!

I think we should have a dating forum here for us lbym/er single folks. It's hard to find men who are not spending money on their silly cars, saving nothing for tomorrow, don't even have a 401K (some don't even know what they are), and just partying from one paycheck to another.
As for not having the will to go through it again.....jeez...I feel like that at 34, but 50 I'll probably barricade myself in a hermit shack!
 
trib1 said:
To Want2retire!
Ireland has become very materialistic, very wealth obsessed. We didn't used to be! Cheap credit changed us.

I find myself frequently sitting across from Dates who respond somewhat shocked, that unlike them (the mainstream), I'm not also up to my neck in career drive, crazy hours, high debt-- struggling to find tenants for my surplus overpriced properties.

For some, ER clearly goes against the grain of the man being the provider etc. Hence the 'what do you do' question frequently scuttering dates. . . So maybe I need to lie, embellish the truth, say I am an oceanographer, at least until they get to know me better.

However being ER'd and as a consequence LBYM, means I can't go too crazy taking dates on expensive 'rip-off-republic' dinners / holidays etc, and this is hurting me, as Ireland is still quite traditional , (the man should pay for everything).

If there was an ER/PT/LBYM dating website in Ireland, that would help. It might even capture the materialistic backlash to the global downturn. . .
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Being in Ireland might have something to do with it... the Irish people I have met all wanted to get out of there... I have never been there, but the pics that I see seem to make NZ a bustling place....
 
bbbamI said:
I was 18 when I started dating my DH. We dated for a year, then we got married when I was 19. Next month we'll be married for 32 years. I went from my parent's home to my own home.

I feel like I've been married all of my life.
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You and me both, sister! Athough it has only been 20 years we've been together (almost 16 yrs married).

We began dating when I was 18, still living with my parents, although I did live on my own for a time before we got married a few years later.

I'd not want to be someone's caretaker in my dotage if something happens to DH, that is for sure.
 
Ha, I meant the whole appearance thing, the "package," the hair, the makeup, the figure, the clothes, etc., etc., even the dating personality.
 
Oldbabe said:
Ha, I meant the whole appearance thing, the "package," the hair, the makeup, the figure, the clothes, etc., etc., even the dating personality.
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I see, thank you.

I think to some extent anyway men are captives of our biology.

Ha
 
And, yes, ha...thank goodness for that! Who would tape and float my walls? And unscrew caps on jars that are hard to open?
 
Orchidflower said:
And, yes, ha...thank goodness for that! Who would tape and float my walls? And unscrew caps on jars that are hard to open?
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This reminds me of an Appalachian song.

"And who will shoe your foot my love,
And who will glove your hand
And who will kiss your ruby lips
When I am in that far-off land..."

Ha
 
Many of you who are single or conjecturing about being single have stated you would have no desire to remarry, have an SO or date. Several have made great cases for their point of view. I agree with all of your points concerning the attendant hassles of dating, the lack of desire to be responsible for another, the attraction of independence, not wanting to be an ATM, the diminished attractiveness of the 50 or 60 YO body,etc. I think being alone during these years can be a heady experience. But, to be blunt, here's the rub: what about those of us who still have significantly strong libidos? What if sexuality is still an important factor? If one doesn't date and has no SO, is that part of our being just left to wither and die?
 
Texas Proud said:
Being in Ireland might have something to do with it... the Irish people I have met all wanted to get out of there... I have never been there, but the pics that I see seem to make NZ a bustling place....
Click to expand...

Disclaimer: I've never been to NZ. Certainly, there are some tranquil places in Ireland, but visiting its cities makes me claustrophobic.

TP, if you have never been to Ireland, then all the Irish people you have met who wanted to get out must have got their wishes, right? In fairness, your sample should include people who live there.
 
noworkethic said:
. But, to be blunt, here's the rub: what about those of us who still have significantly strong libidos? What if sexuality is still an important factor? If one doesn't date and has no SO, is that part of our being just left to wither and die?
Click to expand...


That's when you take matters into your own hand !
 
noworkethic said:
Many of you who are single or conjecturing about being single have stated you would have no desire to remarry, have an SO or date. Several have made great cases for their point of view. I agree with all of your points concerning the attendant hassles of dating, the lack of desire to be responsible for another, the attraction of independence, not wanting to be an ATM, the diminished attractiveness of the 50 or 60 YO body,etc. I think being alone during these years can be a heady experience. But, to be blunt, here's the rub: what about those of us who still have significantly strong libidos? What if sexuality is still an important factor? If one doesn't date and has no SO, is that part of our being just left to wither and die?
Click to expand...
I think there are plenty of women out there that want someone in their life.
 
Hmmm....now I wonder; is it better to be wanted or needed? Hmmmm....
 
I'd rather be wanted.....needed sounds like an obligation (like you need to brush your teeth)...ugh!
 
bbbamI said:
Hmmm....now I wonder; is it better to be wanted or needed? Hmmmm....
Click to expand...

How about respected, loved, and appreciated?

Want and need are so centered on the wanter and needer. Respect, love, and appreciation are more centered on the object of the respect, love, and appreciation.
 
Want2retire said:
How about respected, loved, and appreciated?

Want and need are so centered on the wanter and needer. Respect, love, and appreciation are more centered on the object of the respect, love, and appreciation.
Click to expand...

But respect,love and appreciation are also other forms of needing.. :)

Its ok to want all those things.

Or would those things be wanting..Why I guess its just one of them things..
 
Notmuchlonger said:
But respect,love and appreciation are also other forms of needing.. :)

Its ok to want all those things.

Or would those things be wanting..Why I guess its just one of them things..
Click to expand...
I guess I have the need to be wanted. Or is it, the want to be needed? Gadzooks, I need a good night's sleep...:p
 
Meadbh said:
Disclaimer: I've never been to NZ. Certainly, there are some tranquil places in Ireland, but visiting its cities makes me claustrophobic.

TP, if you have never been to Ireland, then all the Irish people you have met who wanted to get out must have got their wishes, right? In fairness, your sample should include people who live there.
Click to expand...

I worked in London for over a year, so I met a number who still lived there... but to be fair, it is still a small sample...

Funny thing is that a lot of people I know from NZ wanted to leave... but now are going back after 20 or 30 years living somewhere else...
 
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