Snakebit Friend (Rant)

[scrabbler1]

My job uses multiple (over 12, I’ve lost count) cloud based softwares and they all have different password requirements and reset at different times. I seem to have way more of a problem with this than anyone else. It is extra frustrating for me because I’m confident that touch screens are good enough to use fingerprints now (that’s how my iPad works).

Why are we still using passwords?? I just want to use a retinal scan or fingerprint. No more bimonthly updating a 9 character password that can’t be a word and includes one of 7 approved special characters... and then doing it again next week for a different program. It drives me nuts.

Extra hilarious: I remember all my passwords from the 90’s. What a waste of brain space.

Anyway, scrabbler, I feel for your friend, and I’m only half his age.

Back in my working days, I had to remember two passwords, one for the PC and another for the mainframe system access. The problem was they weren't synched up and the 90-day rotation periods were not the same (they overlapped), so one would change, then a few weeks later the other one would change. I'd have to remember which one I changed recently. There was some way to be able to change one on demand (to eliminate the overlap period), but I could never remember how to do it. And the two systems had different rules for creating passwords, such as different number of characters, mix of numbers and letters, etc. It was a PITA for several years.

 

[Maenad]

Has he been checked for a medical condition... just falling asleep while playing a game is not normal...

Yeah, my mom has been having problems like that for a few years. Her regular doctor didn't get the full picture of how she was degrading until she ended up in the ER in January due to hallucinations. Turns out she has Lewy Body Dementia.

I think there's a high likelihood there's something seriously wrong with your friend, but often it takes a serious incident to start the battery of tests to discover it. It's possible his doctor recommended it due to the accident and he refused - Mom just thought she was getting a little forgetful.

Sleep apnea will also result in falling asleep like that, and can seriously mess up your cognitive function.

 

[karen1972]

Sleep apnea will also result in falling asleep like that, and can seriously mess up your cognitive function.

I was also thinking Sleep Apnea. My BF had crowded mouth syndrome and Sleep Apnea and he fell asleep at the wheel, totaled car and luckily didn't hurt anyone. He was also extremely forgetful. They finally took out his uvula and something else. I put him on a strict sleep regimen, mediation to get to sleep, better diet, etc and it stopped and he's fine now.

 

[Mr._Graybeard]

I was also thinking Sleep Apnea. My BF had crowded mouth syndrome and Sleep Apnea and he fell asleep at the wheel, totaled car and luckily didn't hurt anyone. He was also extremely forgetful. They finally took out his uvula and something else. I put him on a strict sleep regimen, mediation to get to sleep, better diet, etc and it stopped and he's fine now.

"It'll behoove ya to care for your uvula ..."

 

[Clone]

And the two systems had different rules for creating passwords, such as different number of characters, mix of numbers and letters, etc.

I was on a system one time- Password had to include-
at least one Capitalized letter
at least one lower case letter
at least one number
at least one special character (from a list of maybe 5)
exactly 8 characters long


None of this was documented anywhere.



Another time, MegaCorp went on a real push of requiring different passwords for each system (I used probably 4 to 6, but some of the purchasing folks were more like 10 systems), none could be the same, could not be incremented (I think you could only reuse a max of 4 characters), expire from 30 to 60 days, and no password managers! They just about locked up the whole company after a few months! Desktop support got swamped. After perhaps 6 months, a lot of people had a document with all their passwords posted on their desks. About 6 months later they went to three major passwords that lasted 90 days. That was manageable.

 

[scrabbler1]

Update on my snakebit friend.


He has not gotten his DL back. He has to use this mask attached to a vaporizer-like device when he sleeps but it hasn't worked right, and he has had very few nights with enough sleep to count toward a minimum number of nights sleeping with one before his doctor can restore his DL. He is supposed to get fitted for special mask but the insurance company is dragging its feet (what else is new?). He is now in month #6.


Besides this, he sometimes causes some more little problems because of his general ineptitude. He has trouble opening things like letters and envelopes and this got him into some trouble. He got this property tax rebate check from the state, one of those with perforations you tear away to separate the check from the stub. He often tears stuff up simply by opening them, and he tore up the check enough so the bank wouldn't accept it. (He has a partial disability, but he should be able to tear paper at perforations.) So, he has to call the state finance department so they can mail out another check. And it's not like he never handled these perforated checks before. I just shake my head at all the weird stuff which happens to him.

 

[ivinsfan]

I've read this thread since it started and at this point calling it "general ineptitude" and him snakebite is not a good description of what's going on. The man has problems, big ones IMO and needs more medical intervention. Are you fairly certain he doesn't drink or do prescription meds.

You are a good friend to him and needs friends right now, that is for certain.

 

[scrabbler1]

I've read this thread since it started and at this point calling it "general ineptitude" and him snakebite is not a good description of what's going on. The man has problems, big ones IMO and needs more medical intervention. Are you fairly certain he doesn't drink or do prescription meds.

You are a good friend to him and needs friends right now, that is for certain.

He is under the care of several doctors, some related to his sleep apnea and others for other relatively minor ailments. He does take some prescription meds for his other ailments.

His partial physical disability stemming from his 1983 car cash (not his fault) makes him clumsy. He walks with a slight limp and has reduced use and dexterity from his left arm and hand (he is right-handed). This greatly contributes to his difficulties doing routine tasks which require the use of both hands.

He doesn't have a knack for doing mechanical things, even those which don't require tough physical skills, as I have written about in this thread for the last 4+ years. This is why I describe his situation as "general ineptitude."

I have known him for 30 years and have never seen him drink anything alcoholic or have seen anything alcoholic in his fridge. I know he plays in a weekly poker game (he hosts it now due to his inability to drive) so he may drink then, I don' know.

 

[ivinsfan]

That's sad for him it's been over 35 years since his problems began. sometimes things like this continue to worsen with time. He's very fortunate to have you for a concerned friend.

 

[scrabbler1]

Some updates on my snake-bit friend.


He will be taking a test in a few days which will determine if he can get his DL back. He won't know for a few weeks after that but this is his big chance to resume driving after 9 months.


There are always some little, annoying things which happen to him. Last month, after speaking to my friend and a phone rep from his bank, I moved the entire balance from a bank account he no longer uses to Fidelity as an easy and efficient way to close the account. The rep told me this would be fine, and the bank would consider the account closed.


He gets his latest bank account statement and it shows a small, negative balance because they tacked on a service charge for having a balance below the minimum to avoid fees! They even called him TWICE the same day (from his local branch) asking him to send them a check for $5. The first time, he told them "NO, the account is closed" and the rep ended the call. The second time, the rep was more combative, he told me.


I told him to call the 1-800 number like I did when a rep there told me it was okay to do this transfer to close the account. I mean, this is how local bank reps spend their time, calling people who aren't their customers any more to demand $5 payments for accounts which don't exist any more


I remember back in the 1980s when I closed a bank account I got a few bank statements showing negative balances due to monthly account fees being assessed. I ignored them (they didn't call me) and it went away.


Then he gets a few phishing emails from a scammer pretending to be sent from PayPal. He has never used PayPal but he keep forwarding them to me to review. I have sent them to PayPal's special email address (spoof@paypal.com) because they want to know about them. I get enough junk email, I don't need to see his! I told him this email so I think he won't bother me with them any more.


ARGGGH!

 

[Teacher Terry]

Your friend should not be driving and take Uber.

 

[W2R]

Your friend should not be driving and take Uber.

+1

Also if he hasn't been checked for narcolepsy, his doctor needs to do that. I have never known anyone without narcolepsy who would just suddenly fall asleep in the middle of a card game or other activity, even if sleepy.

He might need to be in an assisted living or nursing home at some point, for his well being and safety. You have been a very good friend to him but shouldn't expect yourself to be able to handle his banking and other needs like this forever.

 

[scrabbler1]

He has been under doctor care since this happened last May. Tomorrow's test will be overseen by a doctor. He needs doctor approval to get his DL back.


He doesn't need to be placed into an assisted living facility. He can manage his daily life. He has kept working the whole time, using Uber to get to and from work without his own car.


I'll keep overseeing his investment portfolio. He does pay me (not a lot). I don't run his day-to-day life and I don't want to.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Even before I knew I had severe sleep apnea I was tired but never fell asleep that fast.

 

[scrabbler1]

My snake-bit friend finally got cleared to resume driving. He actually got cleared about 3 weeks ago but there was a snag at the DMV. That snag has been removed.


But he still wants to take a driving lesson before he gets back on the road after 9 months. So I will be hosting him at my place again soon, instead of going to his place all the time. Yay!


And I broke the news to him that the new tax law saved him about $1,150. So maybe he is shaking his snake-bit rap?

 

[redduck]

My snake-bit friend finally got cleared to resume driving. He actually got cleared about 3 weeks ago but there was a snag at the DMV. That snag has been removed.


But he still wants to take a driving lesson before he gets back on the road after 9 months. So I will be hosting him at my place again soon, instead of going to his place all the time. Yay!


And I broke the news to him that the new tax law saved him about $1,150. So maybe he is shaking his snake-bit rap?

__________________
Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts, but one snake-bit friend.

scrabbler1: you may consider adding the bolded part to your signature line.

 

[scrabbler1]

So he took the driving lesson and the instructor gave him the go-ahead to drive, just taking it easy the first few days. He has resumed driving to work and will drive to my place for the first time since last May. Yay!


But just when things were looking up for him, he told me he lost his cell phone. Maybe it will turn up, I don't know. He has a land line at home, I wonder if he tried calling his cell phone from it in case it is somewhere in his apartment.


P.S. LOL Redduck!

 

[scrabbler1]

He found his phone and drove to my place later that evening for the first time in 9 months. The phone was in his apartment but he had turned it off so he couldn't "call" himself to find it.


He is coming over tonight and hinted to me he wants to talk about retirement. At 55, maybe he wants to join our ranks??

 

[scrabbler1]

Here is snake-bit friend's latest crazy thing.


When he bought his new car, the dealer gave him a temporary registration sticker and registration card which is supposed to hold him over until the permanent versions arrive in the mail. Lo and behold, he hasn't gotten them and the temporary versions expire today, and he is getting all panicky.


He called the dealer and they told him they would take care of it and get back to him this afternoon. He hasn't heard back from them yet. He doesn't have the dealer's phone number on his cell phone, so he called me to look it up, which I did.


He also wondered if I had encountered this problem when I bought my cars. I told him I didn't remember because the last time I got a car was 12 years ago. But I probably just got the permanent stuff shortly after getting the car and put the new sticker on the windshield, a routine task. Why this crappola happens to him all the time I don't know. But I told him I wouldn't have let this go down to the last day if I hadn't received the permanent versions yet. I'd have been making calls at least a week out if it hadn't arrived. And it isn't like he lacks any reminders that he hasn't received it yet. Every time he is in his car, he can see the temporary registration sticker taped to the inside of his windshield maybe 2 feet from his head.


But this is my snake-bit friend, where his bad luck and forgetfulness cause him a lot more grief than it would most other people.


I'll find out tonight when he comes over if this latest tale has a happy conclusion.

 

[gwraigty]

He called the dealer and they told him they would take care of it and get back to him this afternoon. He hasn't heard back from them yet. He doesn't have the dealer's phone number on his cell phone, so he called me to look it up, which I did...


But this is my snake-bit friend, where his bad luck and forgetfulness cause him a lot more grief than it would most other people.

Not to mention that he should have been able to look up the dealer's phone number on the paperwork he has from the car purchase.

 

[Texas Proud]

On my last new car the dealer got the new plates within a week... I went there and they put them on for me...


Never close to the last date...


BTW, the dealer can just give him another temp tag...

 

[travelover]

Look on the bright side, this guy provides you (and us) with amusing anecdotes on a regular basis.

 

[Nemo2]

Look on the bright side, this guy provides you (and us) with amusing anecdotes on a regular basis.

Ah, but does he start every chapter with the now mandatory exhortation "Hold my beer"?

 

[scrabbler1]

@gwraigty - he was at work so unless he had any of the car's paperwork in the car or on his person, he didn't have it.


@Texas Proud - If the car dealer can't get him all the new stuff, I'd expect them to just give him new temporary tags.


@travelover - LOL, yes, for me it is venting, for you it is entertainment!

 

[scrabbler1]

Latest misadventure of my snake-bit friend:


He had a minor car crash with his new car a few weeks ago. It was all or mostly all his fault. He wasn't doing anything particularly reckless or dangerous, just something a little risky and tough to execute. Rather than get his insurance company involved (he is already paying through the nose for premiums), he just paid the other driver to get his car fixed. No injuries. His car was out of action for a few days, days he was off work anyway. But it was when he was going to visit me, so I had to go to his place.