Snakebit Friend (Rant)

Each of your friend's car accidents, on their own, can be written off as an unfortunate accident. But in the aggregate, the evidence points to someone who should not be driving. Literally, he may soon kill either himself or someone else. You can't point a gun to him and make him stop driving, of course, but maybe make a suggestion? If that includes retiring (since he asked you about it), you could suggest that doing so also means less of a requirement to have a car.
 
scrabbler1 said:
Latest misadventure of my snake-bit friend:


He had a minor car crash with his new car a few weeks ago. It was all or mostly all his fault. He wasn't doing anything particularly reckless or dangerous, just something a little risky and tough to execute. Rather than get his insurance company involved (he is already paying through the nose for premiums), he just paid the other driver to get his car fixed. No injuries. His car was out of action for a few days, days he was off work anyway. But it was when he was going to visit me, so I had to go to his place.
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Something tells me there will be more to the story of this incident. Isn’t one obligated to report damage/accidents even if no claim is filed?
 
To my knowledge, in most states accidents with no personal injuries and with property damages less than a certain amount do not need to be reported. But the bar is pretty low in NY... $1,000.
 
pb4uski said:
To my knowledge, in most states accidents with no personal injuries and with property damages less than a certain amount do not need to be reported. But the bar is pretty low in NY... $1,000.
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You beat me to it. It was a very low-speed crash, and my friend's car probably suffered more damage than the other driver's car.
 
scrabbler1 said:
Latest misadventure of my snake-bit friend:

He had a minor car crash with his new car a few weeks ago. It was all or mostly all his fault. He wasn't doing anything particularly reckless or dangerous, just something a little risky and tough to execute. ...
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So what did he tell you he was doing to crash at low speed ??
 
Sunset said:
So what did he tell you he was doing to crash at low speed ??
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He was trying to make a difficult left turn out of the parking lot at his job, one he makes every day he drives to work. It is onto a fairly busy 2-lane road which has a single left-turn lane running between the two thru-lanes. While making his left turn, a car had gone around a stopped car (and into said turn lane) to his left who was allowing him clearance to turn and struck his car at a low rate of speed.

You could argue that the other driver was partly at fault, but he could simply say he was going to make a left turn at the next traffic light. The other driver had the right-of-way.
 
This all really sounds like my 81 year old FIL...the risky computer searches that cause problems that my wife has to try to unravel, and multiple fender bender accidents that all seem to be the other guy's fault. A severe lack of situational awareness exsists here, but you can't convince him to give either up.
 
My snake-bit friend got bit again. About a month ago, he had another seizure. He wasn't driving, or even in a car, when he went down. He was walking in a park. His DL got yanked for a year, as his new doctor (the old one retired, sorta) isn't as willing to fight the state DMV as his old one was.


He was also in the hospital for a few days later in December when he felt dizzy. Unfortunately, he forgot to call me when that happened because I drove to his place one night in a light rain only to find nobody home. So I got bit by the snake, too.


So, I am back to driving to his place all the time, just like in 2018. And he is back with Uber or some paid driver to shuttle him to work and everywhere else.


He was able to get his car insurance rate reduced as long as he can't drive, saving him a bunch.


I have suggested he retire but he told me (again) he wouldn't know what to do with himself all day.
 
Help me out here...why does he need car insurance, if he can't drive ?? Is he saving the car in the garage for when he CAN drive ?
 
ckelly78z said:
Help me out here...why does he need car insurance, if he can't drive ?? Is he saving the car in the garage for when he CAN drive ?
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He considered removing his car from his insurance and turn in the plates to DMV. But he was concerned about having to move a car without plates from his co-op's small parking lot during snow removal (or face a fine), as well as being allowed to even keep a car in its parking lot without plates. He was able to get a reduction in his insurance rates by taking his name off the insurance. He is still discussing with his doctor the possibility of getting his DL back sooner than one year.

I know......it sucks being snake-bit!
 
Poor guy.
I would encourage him to sell the car. Better to Uber and bus everywhere than die or injure someone in an accident.
 
GravitySucks said:
Poor guy.
I would encourage him to sell the car. Better to Uber and bus everywhere than die or injure someone in an accident.
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Well, that may not be a given yet. It depends on the outcome of his medical evaluation and that might take many months. If that's the case he's probably right to keep the car. I would. In the meantime the insurance in storage for fire, theft, vandalism, etc. is probably pretty cheap.

A long time ago Chevrolet had a line in an advertisement: "It's not just a car. It's your freedom." There's an element of truth to that no matter who makes the car and I don't blame anyone for holding on to the hope that they'll be able to use it again for as long as they can.
 
Here are the latest misadventures of my snake-bit friend (SBF, for short, I am tired of typing it out!).


SBF actually got 2 good breaks regarding his transportation woes. The first is that he was able to transfer his car, temporarily, to his nephew who just got a job locally but lacked a car. Because SBF was able to remove his name from his insurance, he has to pay only a nominal amount so that he won't have to go searching for a new IC when he gets the car back in December, and his lack of accidents for 2020 will count toward his current accidents on his driving record coming off (eventually) and lower his rates. His nephew will pay the bulk of the premium.


The other big break is that his employer, the town government, transferred him to work at a town park much closer to where he lives, a little under 2 miles away. This means his Lyft rate will be much, much lower. When the weather is good, he can walk it. Together, his commutation costs will be much lower than in 2018.


But just when it looks like SBF is showing signs of improvement, he takes a small step backward. I have been gathering his important tax forms for his 2019 tax returns. But when I asked him to give me his W-2 form, he looked around and couldn't find it. He couldn't even remember if he had received it, in the mail or by hand from his boss, or did they just not give them out yet. It turned out he lost it, of course, so he'll have to get a duplicate one. It's not a big deal, as I won't be completing his tax forms for several weeks and he won't need to mail them in (actually, I will mail them because he once forgot to and thought he lost them) until the end of March. But these stupid things seem to happen to SBF all the time!
 
Here is an update to my SBF.


When New York was in a lockdown aback in the spring, SBF got furloughed from his town parks job for about 6 weeks in April and May. In that time, I drove to his place for our weekly Scrabble get-togethers in the morning, on the way to my dad's house because he moved in with my brother in MA from late April through early June. Local traffic was very light, so what would normally be a tough AM drive was easy.


My dad moved back to NY nd SBF went back to work around the same time, so I was back on nights going SBF's place, nearly every week.


He has now reached the one-year mark from his seizure, so he can get his DL back. But he is having lots of trouble getting his doctor make one phone call or send one email to the state DMV to they can reinstate his DL. Repeated calls leaving voice mails never get returned. He did manage to talk to a receptionist once. There are no physical reasons he can't get his DL back, it's just an inept doctor's office.


Once he gets his doctor to make the call, the remaining steps are pretty easy. He has already arranged with his IC to adjust his insurance back to its former status once he calls them with the news that DMV has instated his DL. Then he can go to his sister's house and drive his car home. He wouldn't even need her to be there although he would want to get back the car keys he left there.


He does want to take another driving lesson as he did in 2018 after his previous DL suspension.


Then I can finally stop having to drive to his place (nearly) every week. With the colder weather, sitting in my cold car waiting for it to warm up for my return trip is somewhat unpleasant, as is driving at night which has become a little more challenging in the last few years. I'll be lucky if that can begin by January.
 
scrabbler1 said:
With the colder weather, sitting in my cold car waiting for it to warm up for my return trip is somewhat unpleasant...
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Cars warm up a lot faster under load. In fact, some small modern engines may never warm up completely if it's cold enough and they're just idling. Start your car and be on your way.
 
Maybe, notwithstanding the 1 Year mark, the doctor does not want to give the medical clearance, as opposed to incompetence. Also, it's clear you are a very good friend but remember that in the end you're not responsible for him.
 
mystang52 said:
Maybe, notwithstanding the 1 Year mark, the doctor does not want to give the medical clearance, as opposed to incompetence.
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That could very well be, but if so the doctor should have the courtesy (and courage) to say so instead of ignoring him.
 
He may need to have his lawyer call the doctor's office and make the request... or perhaps a letter from his lawyer to the doctor will do the trick.

Is the doctor saying that SBF is ok to drive or just that SBF hasn't had a seizure in a year? Not sure if a different doctor would be helpful at this stage.. but what if his doctor had died or was no longer practicing?

Something doesn't smell right. Is it possible that SBF hasn't really been seizure-free for a year?
 
Update: SBF received a letter from his doctor allowing him to drive again. He copied it and sent it to DMV Monday. With the big snowstorm on its way, either DMV will probably be slow in clearing him officially to drive again, and/or he won't be able to get his car back for a few days anyway. Once DMV clears him, he will need to get his IC to reinstate his insurance, an easy part of the process. But at least things are moving forward. Then, maybe by January, he can start driving to my place again for the first time in over a year. One step at a time.....
 
Another update about my SBF. He had to wait for the state DMV to send him a reply so he could bring it with him to his local DMV. (Couldn't this be done electronically?) He has an appointment to visit his local DMV which should hopefully resolve that but there is another issue which needs to be resolved: When he turned over his car to his nephew, he (the nephew), with consent of the DMV, switched the license plates from his old car to the one my SBF gave him. This needs clearance from DMV to undo this and switch them back.

This crappola is going to drag on and on and on....
 
scrabbler1 said:
His PC is fairly new, he bought it in late 2012 and it has Windows 8. ( rant over.
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Win 8 is total garbage. A 9-year old PC is worthless. Not worth repairing at all...and things go wrong with old tech gear

Tell him to get a fast Win 10 PC.
 
samm said:
Win 8 is total garbage. A 9-year old PC is worthless. Not worth repairing at all...and things go wrong with old tech gear

Tell him to get a fast Win 10 PC.
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I think that may have been the original post from 2014. Not sure if SBF has gotten a new computer, I've lost track of all these stories. :)

I must say Scrabbler, your stories about your friend definitely provide an enlightening view of how the "other half" lives.
 
Maenad said:
...

I must say Scrabbler, your stories about your friend definitely provide an enlightening view of how the "other half" lives.
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I'm soooo glad you said this, as when I clicked on the link today, I thought "wonder what SB friend has for troubles now".

It is a weird bad character flaw of mine, but I find a kind of relief/joy to know someone else has days that are worse than mine :LOL:.
 
Sunset said:
I'm soooo glad you said this, as when I clicked on the link today, I thought "wonder what SB friend has for troubles now".

It is a weird bad character flaw of mine, but I find a kind of relief/joy to know someone else has days that are worse than mine :LOL:.
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I agree with your comments, but I also think that the SBF is very lucky to have Scrabbler1 in his court.

Scrabbler1, do what you can do. You are a good and faithful friend. A lot of people in your friend's position don't have those.
 
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