Talking to my wife about finances

[corn18]

So I was talking to my wife this afternoon about step up basis and what that means if I die or her mom dies. We must have been talking for 2 or 3 minutes when I look over at her and she is pulling her nostrils apart with her index fingers. Then she says to me "you know, if I pull my nostrils apart, I can smell the cheese I just ate!" She's not very interested in our finances.

 

[Bigdawg]

So I was talking to my wife this afternoon about step up basis and what that means if I die or her mom dies. We must have been talking for 2 or 3 minutes when I look over at her and she is pulling her nostrils apart with her index fingers. Then she says to me "you know, if I pull my nostrils apart, I can smell the cheese I just ate!" She's not very interested in our finances.

Knowing I would also being seeing DW pulling on her nostrils I went ahead and developed a nine slide power point presentation. I update it every six months. She can look at it as whenever (or never) she wants.

 

[foxfirev5]

Yeah, In my case it's not going to work either. While I cherish her, future finances are a wild card upon my demise. Although she does have a enough foresight to veto any annuities.

 

[aja8888]

So I was talking to my wife this afternoon about step up basis and what that means if I die or her mom dies. We must have been talking for 2 or 3 minutes when I look over at her and she is pulling her nostrils apart with her index fingers. Then she says to me "you know, if I pull my nostrils apart, I can smell the cheese I just ate!" She's not very interested in our finances.

My wife is so disinterested in our finances, I was given power of attorney over her IRA by her. I pay all the bills, handle the active accounts, etc.

It works.

 

[Midpack]

That’s not universal but not unusual either. My DW isn’t much interested in investing, financial planning, taxes, etc. - “that’s my job” according to her. Of course she has talents that I’m clueless about, that’s what marriages are for in part.

 

[Souschef]

DW is an extremely bright lady, with lots of "street smarts", more than I have.
But she trusts me to handle all the financial stuff.

However, in our estate planning binder is a list of all the investments, with name of the brokerage, account numbers and contact information.
After seeing a segment on Larry Kings will, she asked if we had one. I explained that all our investment had beneficiaries so we did not have to go through probate which is expensive and time consuming. I also told her we had a pour over will for everything else.

 

[Yoheadden]

After supper tonight, my DW was going to work on a puzzle. She asked me what I was going to do. So I told her I was going to check out some retirement calculators and different WRs and asked if she wanted to help. She just looked at me for a second with a blank stare and said "Just let me know if we're alright". lol

 

[Gumby]

I know the young wife can handle our finances, as she did that when I was deployed on a submarine and periodically out of contact with the world for months at a time. However, since I came ashore for good, she has been quite happy to leave that all to me. She'll listen to me politely for a few minutes, but then she'll discover that one of the cats needs to be cuddled or she'd like to work on her quilt or something. That said, I'm sure she'll also do just fine once I'm gone. We just have different interests.

 

[Lawrencewendall]

I feel your pain. DW is of the mindsight that "there's more checks in the checkbook so we must good".

 

[mystang52]

I mentioned this in other threads. I put together a 12 page, or so, document that describes all of our finances, where they are etc. Those 12 pages are individually short, broken down into categories such as "where's our money?", Taxes, Insurance, etc. Most importantly, are phone numbers she will need. I gave a copy to each of my kids as well.

 

[Deej]

I'm a wife and make sure I know what's going on from bank accounts to pension to retirement funds, insurance, and everything in between. We're not retired yet, but close, and, we prefer to keep Excel sheets on budget, retirement scenarios, 401, etc. I want to ensure I'm aware of everything financial should something happen to DH, and leave no stone unturned. Since I pay the bills (mostly) online, I keep a sheet of all passwords and how he can get to my financial stuff, and vise versa. I've heard too many times where one dies, and the other is clueless on everything financial. That won't be us.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I am the finance person and have been for 17 years. I am making him a list of all his stuff with passwords, etc. The only thing he is interested in is get rich quickly schemes. He lost his health insurance the end of January when we divorced. He never followed through on the tips I gave him. He now has no insurance and has diabetes. At least he has at least 60 days worth of medication. Glad I should be out of here in a month so I don’t have to see the train wreck.

 

[nap470]

DW is much smarter than me overall but has no interest in investments, taxes and electronics. Those are my taskings. I'm working on a document to put all the information in one place to include the "How To" for our home automation controls.

 

[rk911]

my wife is the best...but she has no aptitude for electronics and no interest in finances. no kids to lean on so i'm doing many of the same things others are doing.

 

[skyking1]

Mine is very conservative with money, and it rubbed off on me. Now we have enough that she is willing to let me put more into the market, finally.

 

[Nemo2]

Guess I lucked out. I'm incapable, unobservant, inarticulate and count on my toes, while DW, the ex-software developer, math whiz, etc, is currently taking more online computer courses just for fun.

 

[2017ish]

DW made most of our money and was intimately involved in the finances of her 2 medical groups. Right now, she runs and plans our travel, while I have the easier job of doing the personal finances (as I have for years).

We talk frequently, and she knows where the "keys" are and what our plan is and why. I have little doubt that she'll step right up if I die in the next 20 years or so. After that, we'll have to see at what point neither of us can captain the financial ship.

 

[twaddle]

Years ago, I was executor of my grandfather's estate. He was an engineer, and I was pretty impressed with his documentation. His portfolio was 100% municipal bonds, which made things pretty easy as well.

In the end, his documentation didn't matter. But that simple portfolio did. Tax free income for he and his wife well into their eventual incapacitation.

So that was my take-home lesson. Sure, I document as well as a I can. But my current goal is to automate our income. Just in case we both become uninterested in finances someday.

 

[bbbamI]

Fortunately dh and I are well versed regarding our finances. It wasn't always that way since I paid the bills, balanced the checkbooks, etc. Somehow that became my 'job' when we got married. But now, he's more involved. Ok...so I still pay the bills, balance checkbooks, etc...but he understands our accounts and investments.

 

[Dtail]

I take care of all our finances. Still need to put together a summary of sorts on what to do if I pass first.

 

[harley]

Based on the state of the average American family's financial situation, I think it's unusual for even one family member to be interested in financial matters. To have two that are would be as rare as rocking horse droppings.

 

[Sunset]

We share:

I take care of mine and some of DW's investments, plus groceries and trip planning/purchasing.
She takes care of her other investments and all the household bills and medical stuff.

 

[levindb]

Having the keys to the tool shed does not mean that your spouse will be able to operate the equipment. It may be best find a family member, a trusted friend, or a financial advisor before you lose your own capabilities. Whether it happens in an instant or over a long period of time, the mathematical skills will go away...from one or both of you.

NOW would be a good time to develop that transition plan.

 

[donheff]

DW has little interest in taking care of finances but is interested in how things are set up and how we are doing. I brief her every 6 months or so and she has access to a "what to do when I kick," document as do the kids. She is a talented lawyer and can take this stuff over with ease. If we both get demented, the kids are well positioned to take over.

 

[Aerides]

Another Financially engaged DW here. In fact I was the main engineer of our ER planning. And DH and I have discussed it often for years.

With respect to the OP - is this new or has this always been your marriage? If you've just never had these talks until now, and after decades you're now finding this imbalance, kinda odd to project it here in such unflattering terms (she might not do math but no doubt she can read...)

Either way, OP I think you're getting really close to your ER date and you've made a number of threads "in the weeds" of those final plans. So if your conversations at home, of late, are saturated with financial talk, yeah...she might just be tuning out at this point. Maybe change the subject for a while?