Video dating pointers

[clifp]

Hmmm - kinda boring. But then again I lived thirty years in New Orleans - er ah when I was younger.



heh heh heh -

I think it would be blast to go out with Lindsey for a date, of course I'd be sure to ditch her before the cops arrived.

 

[omni550]

Omni550: Don't be offended as everyone is just having fun. Nothing wrong with personals as W2R met her Frank there, and that seems to have jelled spectacularly. We funni'n...chill.

Me, however, I plan to go out alot when I'm ready to meet the opposite sex. Places like the health club and similar interests...maybe hang around Home Depot..ha! Too many "players" on those personals I think who aren't really serious on most of those boards, but you never know (refer to above).

EHarmony's owner has some right-wing religious affiliation, so he isn't exactly objective in his personality "assessment" test. I'd pass that particular one up myself. Do know some who had great luck with Match.com, tho.

Orchidflower,

I wasn't the least bit offended, sorry if it sounded that way.

I thought those dating videos were hysterically funny.

I'm just curious to know how others are meeting (or suggest meeting) date-able people these days, as I'm interested in meeting someone.

I do go out a lot. I've been going to the gym and dancing, not with the intent of meeting men, but to keep myself in shape and because I enjoy dancing.

For the last 9 months, I've been going to the gym at least 3 times a week and have yet to meet someone there.

For the past year, I've been taking dance lessons and going to ballroom dances anywhere from 3 to 5 times a week. Through these dance connections, I've had 2 men express an interest in seeing me. I met one for lunch and that was it.

I've been online dating for about 9 months and have met 17 guys for a "meet & greet". Of these, I went out on dates with 8 of them. (Interesting side-note: One of these online guys, whom I ended-up dating a few times, thought he recognized me from the gym, and that's what he said in his first email to me. Had it not been for my profile on the internet dating site, we never would have met.)

I live in a major metropolitan area. Strictly from from a numbers perspective: there are probably 50-100 eligible single men in my age range at my gym, probably a similar number in the dance community that I participate in, and literally hundreds, if not thousands, in the local (within 75 miles) online dating community.

I do go to Home Depot (I'm usually busy looking for a plumbing part or a bag of mulch) and haven't met any guys there yet.

I joined several meetup.com groups and have gone on a number of local hikes. Interestingly, most of the hikers are in their 20's and 30's (I'm in my late 50's), so there haven't been any dates resulting.

I am in the midst perusing the latest adult ed catalogs to see if there are any classes that sound interesting.

As this is board is filled with intelligent people, I'd love to hear your suggestions on 'ways and means' to meet other eligible singles.

omni

 

[Orchidflower]

Omni, sounds as if you are doing everything right to meet Mr. Adequate (let's not kid ourselves..there's no Mr. Right out there). Are you being friendly to everyone? I've seen plain gals that do great attracting men because they are so fun and approachable. In fact, many times I've seen some plain Jane attract guys right and left because plain Jane is just out to have fun. It's her casual, nonthreatening, unfrustrated, easygoing demeanor that's so appealing.
And, may God strike me dead for even saying this, but men are (sigh..) visual creatures, so make SURE your package looks appealing. Ask a friend their opinion (one of the reasons it's always good to have a gay guy as a friend as a single gal).
Other than that, you sound like you are on the right path. Just keep on trucking and you are bound to meet someone.
The LESS I care if I ever meet anyone, the more at ease I am about it, the more guys I meet that seem to want to make a connection. Ain't that the way it works normally?
I can remember really wanting to find someone in Houston and zip. I'm up in high State tax mecca Illinois now, and don't want to stay here, don't care to meet anyone for a "relationship" and am meeting guys right and left. Brother!
I'm convinced it ALL has to do with my attitude. I'm no longer under the tremendous business stress I was in in Houston, am relaxed and just having fun joking around. Men seem to respond to that like dogs respond to those silent whistles, and women find men who are easygoing and fun attractive, too.
But where to meet men? You can meet them anywhere literally.
Do the personals if you want to try them. They aren't for me, but I know a number of really successful relationships that started there.
And, you know, those 20 and 30 y.o.'s have older friends and relatives they might be able to introduce you to if you get in with them. Work it, girl!

Some guy on this board needs to jump in with advice here...

 

[Moemg]

All I can add is be open to meeting someone . Talk to people at the gym .Don't wait for someone to approach you . When you go to the dances go alone . Men are intimated by groups of women .Also if you are Internet dating expand your guidelines in age ,education and money . My So and I met because I took one year off my age ( It was a really bad year so it did not count ). Also have your Internet bio be fun not all walking on the beach or enjoying a sunset crap .Good luck !

 

[omni550]

.... Are you being friendly to everyone? ....Ask a friend their opinion (one of the reasons it's always good to have a gay guy as a friend as a single gal)......I'm convinced it ALL has to do with ...attitude.....relaxed and just having fun joking around.

Work it, girl!

Thanks for the input, Orchidflower.

I tend to be introverted/shy. I've been making a huge effort to smile at everyone and engage in chit-chat with all the people I meet...neighbors, desk guy at the gym, clerk at the store, waitstaff at the restaurant, person next to me at the post office, etc. (It does become easier with time. I actually think a lot of other people are shy/lonely and appreciate my breaking the ice first.)

I've also introduced myself to tons of new people -- in my dance classes, in my hiking group, etc.

I just sent an email to my gay friend asking for his feedback on my 'complete package'. He always tells me how great I look, but I'll be curious to see if he offers-up any suggestions.

I'll keep working on my 'devil-may-care' attitude.

omni

 

[omni550]

All I can add is be open to meeting someone . Talk to people at the gym .Don't wait for someone to approach you . When you go to the dances go alone . Men are intimated by groups of women .Also if you are Internet dating expand your guidelines in age ,education and money . My So and I met because I took one year off my age ( It was a really bad year so it did not count ). Also have your Internet bio be fun not all walking on the beach or enjoying a sunset crap .Good luck !

Thanks, Moemg.

I typically go most everywhere alone, as none of my girlfriends are into ballroom dancing, none of my friends are retired (they're either too young are can't afford to retire yet), and only a few live nearby.

I've actually tightened-up my internet dating age range to 15 years (-10 years and +5 years)....as the younger guys I met seemed to be on a different path than I am.

And I've always been open-minded on education and income. Although I am looking for someone intelligent (as stupid can't be fixed LOL ).

omni

 

[cantlogin]

It's too bad you live too far away omni. I'd give ya a go 'cause I'm keeping my eyes open for a partner too.

 

[freebird5825]

In 2 words...CONFIDENCE and HONESTY

I have been told many times that it is my confidence in myself (in my case, there's an abundance of that) and my [-]bluntness[/-] honesty that are absolutely the most attractive things men find about me.

I am physically attractive and have a nice build, but so do a lot of women. Dime a dozen as they say.

Best input I can give as a woman.

 

[W2R]

Omni, there are a lot of different ways of meeting someone. Of one thing I am certain: nobody meets their partner while sitting home and wishing. Yes, I figured that out all by myself! So anyway, after I had recovered enough from my divorce to want to start dating, I made a "rule" for myself: I required myself to do my chores on weekday nights, and to devote the weekends to getting out and meeting people. This was hard because I am an introvert but I did it anyway.

I met Frank on a free matchmaking website, but I can't tell you how many "frogs" I had coffee with before my "prince" responded to my ad. And I wasn't even sure about him enough to give him my real name and address until we had met half a dozen times. But he was patient, and it all worked out. That was ten years ago, and we have been exclusively devoted to one another for about nine years.

I don't think there is anything magic about matchmaking websites. I hated the process but it did allow me to meet quite a few people. Any other way in which you might meet a large number of potential partners would be just as good. One of the best places here to meet people is at a nearby Catholic church, which has some sort of single adults get-together. Even non-Catholics go to it because it seems to have brought so many compatible people together.

 

[bbbamI]

I'm a woman and wish I could give some advice on how to attract a mate; but I've got nothin'.

 

[W2R]

I'm a woman and wish I could give some advice on how to attract a mate; but I've got nothin'.

Boots!! I never tried them but that's a thought.

 

[MasterBlaster]

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

The first time I met dh2b by chance at a clambake, we totally talked techie. He'd never met a lady engineer before and was duly fascinated.
I

Freebird, I'm sure you're a fun lady to hang with, but sorry to burst your bubble, but most male engineers aren't that picky. I speak from experience.

 

[Orchidflower]

Omni550: Unless you really need a guy to pay your bills (oh, let's face reality that that's what so many women look for out there), then just relax, take your time and make a real effort to stay relaxed.
Even tho I'm not a man, I do know that what will chase them away the quickest is if they feel you're needy. Healthy men, anyway, don't like that.
Keep yourself so darned busy doing activities and things you enjoy that you don't have time to get needy or lonely. Men--like women--like people who have their own interests and activities.
I love to hear you are making an effort to smile and chat it up with everyone. That a girl!!! If nothing else, you might have some interesting conversations with others.
Keep going...I feel you are on the right track, Omni.

Eating out alone, yes. Going to an art gallery, the symphony, festival alone..yes; I've gone to festivals with great live music alone before and no biggie; but that can turn into being hazardous sometimes if it's a bar, so probably not a good idea there.

 

[freebird5825]

Freebird, I'm sure you're a fun lady to hang with, but sorry to burst your bubble, but most male engineers aren't that picky. I speak from experience.

Take a 10 for that one.

dh2b is actually NOT an engineer, but a computer/comm guy. Same difference.

 

[unclemick]

Ya know at age 66 I have to admit I've never figured it out. Hindsight says that all the women I decided to chase never stayed caught. But the women who decided that they were gonna get caught by me - did.

Not sure exactly what I just said - but I understand it.

heh heh heh - in a lefthanded quirky sort of way.

 

[omni550]

Thanks, all, for the feedback and encouragement.

Actually I'm pretty self-sufficient and really don't need anyone to provide me with anything. I truly enjoy men for their companionship, even my gay guy friends.

I have heard that many men like to be the '"knight on the white horse riding in to rescue the damsel in distress''. Perhaps I should not be fixing my own leaky shower and maybe should be seeking a ''white knight plumber"? LOL

FWIW, in response to Orchidflower's comment to seek feedback from a gay friend, this is what he e-mailed me, "You'd be a great catch for the right guy. You're in great shape, have a pleasant face, are well-read and constantly learning, and are always out doing things. As long as you don't try to market [yourself] as 20-30 [years old], you're good."

cantlogin - I don't know where you live, but thanks for the thought.

W2R - I appreciate hearing the story of how you met Frank. As a fellow introvert, I will set some goals for myself to get out and meet people. And I sure know what you mean about the 'frogs' in internet dating land. I realize that on these sites, everyone is out of context and that makes it so difficult to 'filter in' the people who we might really have a great relationship with.

Orchidflower - If anything, I'm often too busy. Guys have asked me out and I'll say, "How about next Wednesday, it's the only night I have open." I do wonder if that makes them think that I've got a some other guy(s) 'on the hook'?

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, so my soon-to-be-finalized 'Get Out There and Meet People' goals will be a good substitute. I like to have goals/metrics, so this will be good for me.

omni