What have you utterly failed on (or failing)?

[Dd852]

I love the honesty in this thread. I failed to keep up friendships - my life was always moving countries and moving cities and I dealt with that by cutting ties and starting fresh. I wish I'd kept more up. There are some people I truly miss - and I'd count having a better relationship with my sister in that. But our lives just went in very different directions.

Currently I seem to be failing to run a small retirement business very well, but that's because I'm succeeding in enjoying the retirement part !


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[Ronstar]

I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.

 

[jollystomper]

I'll just list a few of many - I fail at something fairl regularly

- Failed at making my junior high and high school baseball and basketball teams.

- Failed at being a starter on my high school JV and college football teams.

- Failed at getting into my first choice of college.

- Failed at keeping one of mine kids from going down a path that landed him over a year in prison.

- Failed early in my working career in understanding finances, having a credit card cancelled in a public and embarrassing manner, relied of a "hot stock" tip, and buying life insurance when I didn't need it.

- Failed at forgiving 2 people who treated me (in my view) badly but later reached out to me but whom I ignored. Both died before the relationship was reconciled.

- Failing to notice in high school and college when women wanted to be more than friends with me (of course DW doesn't see this as a failure ).

The main thing I have learned is to try to learn from my failures and not repeat them.

 

[RISP]

I'm guilty of several things already mentioned, plus I failed at songwriting. I played guitar for many years, quite well actually, but I lack even the slightest trace of creativity. I couldn't think up a nice melody, or interesting lyrics, if my life depended on it, even though I very much wish I could. Oh, and so far I've failed to hit a homerun in 8 seasons of rec baseball. Not even in batting practice. Even using an aluminum bat, I'm ashamed to admit.

I seem to be doing quite OK in most other things I'm really passionate about, like making my marriage work, raising the kids, or providing for the family, so it's all good.

I failed at retirement. I retired 2-1/2 years ago after 27 years with Megacorp. Retirement lasted the weekend. Went to work for another company the following Monday.

Why, if I may ask? Cause if you decided to continue working, rather than being forced to, I wouldn't consider that a failure.

 

[BTravlin]

Failed to get my college degree. Took and passed almost all the courses for my major but just never got around to all those electives. Not sure a degree would have changed my life much but it would nice to be able to say, "I graduated from ..." when those conversations come up. Mainly a matter of personal pride.

The jury is still out on my performance as a father but, at this point, I'm worried. We shall see.

 

[Sarah in SC]

I've failed to develop any creative skills: music, writing, drawing, etc. I appreciate the musicians in my life, but couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Also, I wish I had a better eye for the art of photography--I just take snapshots.
I've also failed at maintaining weight loss, keeping up with exercise programs, and not smoking. Big sigh.

 

[rodi]

I failed to get my engineering masters. Started on it in my late 30's... met DH and missed a 6 week block because my wedding/honeymoon were in the middle of it. Continued on, but then got preggers - missed another 6 week block because I didn't want to go into labor while in class. I doggedly kept at it - working during the day - going straight to grad school after work. Breast pump in tow. Yep - fun times pumping in a college restroom so I don't explode during the 3 hour class.

I managed to compete all the course work except one math class. Moved back to San Diego because my mom had terminal cancer and my son was the only grandchild. Signed up as non-matriculating student for a math course that would fill the requirement - dropped it 1 week in because my mom went into ICU and I needed to sit vigil. (She subsequently died). Never picked up the masters program. Never took the math class, never wrote the thesis. I can't even claim I have a masters "abt" (all but thesis.)

Now that I'm retired I really don't care. I'm signed up for an Italian course... doesn't apply at all to the masters in software engineering.

I've utterly failed to be the calm/child-whisperer type mom like some of my friends. My kids regularly annoy me and I react in a very grumpy way. So far they still love me but the teen and tween years seem to be pushing my patience.

 

[LarryG]

Also love the honesty and courage in responses in this thread.

In my case, while I've had a few failures in life, I've only really had one major failure in something I tried desperately hard to achieve. And that was in trying everything I could to get an alcoholic immediate family member to stop drinking and seek recovery. Learned the hard way that you can't - and you end up literally driving yourself crazy in trying.

 

[robnplunder]

I failed to get my engineering masters.

Me, too. Worked during the days, and went to school at night. Then, juggling family (child, DW), work, finance became too much of stress. Also, I reached a conclusion that the degree will not help my career in any significant way, and that I was learning very little anyway. It's a failure that bothers me time to time b/c I have motto of always finishing what I started, do what I say, never giving up, ....

 

[eytonxav]

I failed to get my engineering masters.

+2 , got tired of the study grind and being a TA after one semester, so dropped out to make some money. Also, I failed at learning a musical instrument. I suffer from the need for instant gratification and lacked the patience to stick with it.

 

[AnIntentionalRoad]

I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.

+1

 

[robnplunder]

I am a complete failure at golf. I haven't played in years, but I think my last round was somewhere between 110-130.

My failure is in progress ... it will end with my breaking all my clubs, canceling golf channel from dish, etc.. Bocce ball here I come.

As I read these threads, I keep remembering more failures. Thanks for the reminders, folks ... .

 

[MRG]

In my case, while I've had a few failures in life, I've only really had one major failure in something I tried desperately hard to achieve. And that was in trying everything I could to get an alcoholic immediate family member to stop drinking and seek recovery. Learned the hard way that you can't - and you end up literally driving yourself crazy in trying.

You didn't fail! A tough lesson, but no failure on your part. A failure in this type of case would be to still trying to "fix/help" this sick family member. My DF passed at 96, he was still trying to fix one drug addicted grandchild. DF never "got it".

My failures, probably too many to list. The biggest my p*ss poor communication skills.

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[rodi]

Thought of another one - failed in my attempts to learn Italian. Hoping to remedy this before next summer. Signed up for Italian 101 at the jr college starting in a few weeks. If that goes well I'll do Italian 102 in the spring and will have the equivalent of 4 years of high school Italian.

 

[CoolChange]

ER: Suffering from chronic OMY-itis.

 

[MissMolly]

Regarding all those who haven't finished college - I started college right out of high school. After two years, lost interest and didn't go back. A couple of years later I get married. DH had also quit college after a couple of years so we both decide to go to night school. After a couple of years I get pregnant and quit (he stays and finishes and then finished law school). Once child is 10 years old (and I continue to work full time) I decide to go back to night school again - and get pregnant again (11 years between my two kids) so I quit again. Once youngest is in high school, I decide I REALLY want to finish college, so I go back again - by now I'm in my 50's. But I finished! Everyone asked "what will you do with your degree"? I said "hang it on my wall". I knew I was getting close to retiring so it would not help me in my career, I just wanted to say "I graduated from..." Made me feel really, really good.

 

[aja8888]

Regarding all those who haven't finished college - I started college right out of high school. After two years, lost interest and didn't go back. A couple of years later I get married. DH had also quit college after a couple of years so we both decide to go to night school. After a couple of years I get pregnant and quit (he stays and finishes and then finished law school). Once child is 10 years old (and I continue to work full time) I decide to go back to night school again - and get pregnant again (11 years between my two kids) so I quit again. Once youngest is in high school, I decide I REALLY want to finish college, so I go back again - by now I'm in my 50's. But I finished! Everyone asked "what will you do with your degree"? I said "hang it on my wall". I knew I was getting close to retiring so it would not help me in my career, I just wanted to say "I graduated from..." Made me feel really, really good.

At least you didn't get pregnant the third time going back to night school!

 

[robnplunder]

Hey, MissMolly, this is a "failure" thread. You got this thread confused with inspirational success story thread.

 

[MichaelB]

My grandfather used to say "if you haven't failed at something in life you're not trying hard enough". By that measure I have not let him down. Notable failures on all fronts, and from what I've heard , DW, our kids, her and my siblings can provide a lengthy and detailed list.

Too many to keep track of. You pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and step back into the fray.

 

[MBAustin]

I failed at writing fiction - in 9th grade the English teacher asked me to write a short story for a competition. I could not for the life of me make up a story out of thin air - every time I tried it was loosely disguised autobiography. Have never tried again.

Like several others here, I failed at being a calm, patient, consistent parent. Fortunately, DH was better at it and the kids seem to have turned out OK nonetheless, but I'm truly embarrassed when I recall my behavior on a number of occasions (and I'm sure there are many more that I don't recall).

Finally, like many others here, I failed at my first choice of retirement hobby - golf. At least I have the excuse that I never exhibited the slightest bit of athletic talent at any point in my life (which I don't really consider a failure).

 

[LoneAspen]

I failed at writing fiction - in 9th grade the English teacher asked me to write a short story for a competition. I could not for the life of me make up a story out of thin air - every time I tried it was loosely disguised autobiography. Have never tried again.

That's about the only thing I ever liked about English classes during my school years, was creative writing.

But (and this is another failure item)... While I could write up a fantastical few pages of some characters doing something, I could never extend that ability to several chapters or a book.

How people like Tolkien or Rowling think up their grandiose worlds and write about them so voluminously is beyond me.

 

[AnIntentionalRoad]

That's about the only thing I ever liked about English classes during my school years, was creative writing.

But (and this is another failure item)... While I could write up a fantastical few pages of some characters doing something, I could never extend that ability to several chapters or a book.

How people like Tolkien or Rowling think up their grandiose worlds and write about them so voluminously is beyond me.

It's beyond almost everyone, even most published novelists.

 

[obgyn65]

I have utterly failed at having a family, in a stable long term relationship with a wife and children.


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[Ed_The_Gypsy]

Biggest personal failure, not being a good enough father to my son. Making progress, though, even at this late date.

I never achieved much, but never had much ambition, either. We have come this far without disaster, so things are OK. It is worth remembering the words of a Seattle Mariner who observed that in baseball, you lose about half the time. Get used to it.

One of my favorite quotes is from Winston Churchill, who said, Success is being able to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

 

[Walt34]

But I finished! Everyone asked "what will you do with your degree"? I said "hang it on my wall". I knew I was getting close to retiring so it would not help me in my career, I just wanted to say "I graduated from..." Made me feel really, really good.

You're not the only one. DW didn't finish hers until she was 53 and it does nothing but hang on the wall. And that's okay. Hopefully she'll never need it.