tmm99
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 15, 2008
- Messages
- 5,223
I play a group sport and I'm usually the oldest one in any group. By decades. I'm in my mid 60s and people I play with are usually in their mid 20s to late 30s. Some groups have older people but they have more rec-level players. I used to play with a slightly older crowd (mid 40s and mid 40s) but they have family/obligations, so they don't participate as much, and I ended up going to a group with younger people.
I recently joined another group but this group is considerably younger - early 20s to early/mid 30s. I do kind of stick out, but if I want to play at a certain level, and since we don't have enough older folks here who can play at that level, I end up going to this place as well. Anyway, this group is the first place I've experienced ageism of some kind. The organizer seems to gravitate toward younger people. He organizes and hosts parties for them and I don't get an invite. The young ones go out to dinner afterwards and I've never been invited to that either. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to go anyway, but that's not the point. When he invites his players to different events, it seems he tells them to bring people with a similar "vibe". He recently sent an invite for a tourney hosted by a friend of his and he said something like "This is an older group than our group" or something like that to let his players know that they will be playing with older players. This organizer is kind of branding his group, it feels like. Personally, I don't care how the person looks (fat, thin, whatever) or how old - I will play with anybody who is close to my skill level.
The whole thing makes me feel kind of... not so good. I didn't even realize that some younger folks didn't want to play with older people. Having said that, I'm still playing there as the level is decent. I just play and leave, but it just leaves me feeling kind of lousy when I let this bother me.
I was just wondering if you have had similar experiences. I think this will happen more and more as I get even older. The other groups seem to be more inclusive and I don't feel so bad. The team I play with obviously doesn't seem to care, but I am starting to try to find master's programs/groups of people. I played with that kind of group before, but the level wasn't as good as the young players I was playing with, maybe I just need to look more seriously.
I want to hear what you've experienced if you want to share. All in all, I feel that some people are almost age-blind (like colour-blind). They talk to me like they're their same-aged friend and some others, not so much.
I recently joined another group but this group is considerably younger - early 20s to early/mid 30s. I do kind of stick out, but if I want to play at a certain level, and since we don't have enough older folks here who can play at that level, I end up going to this place as well. Anyway, this group is the first place I've experienced ageism of some kind. The organizer seems to gravitate toward younger people. He organizes and hosts parties for them and I don't get an invite. The young ones go out to dinner afterwards and I've never been invited to that either. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to go anyway, but that's not the point. When he invites his players to different events, it seems he tells them to bring people with a similar "vibe". He recently sent an invite for a tourney hosted by a friend of his and he said something like "This is an older group than our group" or something like that to let his players know that they will be playing with older players. This organizer is kind of branding his group, it feels like. Personally, I don't care how the person looks (fat, thin, whatever) or how old - I will play with anybody who is close to my skill level.
The whole thing makes me feel kind of... not so good. I didn't even realize that some younger folks didn't want to play with older people. Having said that, I'm still playing there as the level is decent. I just play and leave, but it just leaves me feeling kind of lousy when I let this bother me.
I was just wondering if you have had similar experiences. I think this will happen more and more as I get even older. The other groups seem to be more inclusive and I don't feel so bad. The team I play with obviously doesn't seem to care, but I am starting to try to find master's programs/groups of people. I played with that kind of group before, but the level wasn't as good as the young players I was playing with, maybe I just need to look more seriously.
I want to hear what you've experienced if you want to share. All in all, I feel that some people are almost age-blind (like colour-blind). They talk to me like they're their same-aged friend and some others, not so much.
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