Will update

[Sunset]

....
The cost of having the wills done properly far outweighed any potential saving in a DIY job. The savings can easily be eaten up just by an executor or one of our children having to seek some legal advice or direction post our demise. We keep a separate asset and password sheet in our safe deposit box that is updated every year. Our children have access to the the box.

....

Some banks will deny access to the safety deposit boxes, once notified a person is dead, until the executor shows up with death certificate and will (and maybe probated will).

I went to the bank to open the box when Mom died, got everything out, and weeks later went in to close the bank accounts with the paperwork, and hand in the box keys.

 

[joeea]

I went to the bank to open the box when Mom died, got everything out, and weeks later went in to close the bank accounts with the paperwork, and hand in the box keys.

If you weren't on your Mom's designated access list, then make sure you never get a safety deposit box from this bank for yourself. I know I wouldn't.

 

[Idnar7]

In terms of telling your children, I told my out of state children (late 30's) that we updated our wills to take them out of my wife's will (their stepmother) and instead made them beneficiaries of both our Roth's. I told them I wanted them to have access to money right away when I passed. Surprisingly they were both upset to discuss it and many tears were shed. As years have passed I just remind them that the money is there if they need it. I would rather see them improve their life and enjoy it while I am alive. Now my youngest daughter (who was most upset) is asking to use it to buy her first home. I was surprised by their reaction when I told them, but time has healed. If she doesn't buy, it will just sit their growing until they need or I pass. My DF left me about 15k and I used that as seed money to start investing.

 

[Sunset]

If you weren't on your Mom's designated access list, then make sure you never get a safety deposit box from this bank for yourself. I know I wouldn't.

Not a worry, it was far away.
I had the legal right to go into the box, so they let me in.
Later maybe they realized I broke their bank rules but they didn't know it.

The big problem is, some people put their will, the only copy, in the safe deposit box. Show up with death certificate, and they may deny access. So you cannot get the will. A nice catch 22.

 

[gamboolman]

After watching my mother for 3-1/2 years lay in bed with a funnel in her stomach to feed her after debilitating strokes. Knowing that if she could have spoken that she would have said "let me go". My Dad, now long gone/deceased had made the decision to keep her alive. I understand the why but for me and ms gamboolgal - it was not the decision that we would have made, and certainly not the one that we will make for each other.

We had our wills, POA, Medical Directives, Trust, Medical POA - every legal instrument that we might need all set up. The initial fee was about $5K and that was ~8 years ago. This was done with a very well established and respected law firm in The Woodlands.

All decisions have been made. Nothing left for the kids to have to agonize over, money and estate is set up the way we want it to be - and to minimize taxes.

Just last year we reviewed and revised the documents to reflect now adult children, changing financials and in general all aspects. The revisions cost about $3K.

For ms gamboolgal and I - it is worth it. But that's just us.

Lifes A Dance And You Learn As You Go....
gamboolman....

 

[Badger]

I have a 3 page letter of instructions for each of our 2 children on where things are and who to contact. They'll each get a copy of all the above mentioned paperwork, along with information on how to access our original copies.

I gave them some very simple investment advice. "Take all the money and put it in your Vanguard Accounts" I suggested putting it all in the Target 2065 Fund and get back to work, and when you're ready to withdraw, never draw more than 4%. I wanted to suggest one fund that they could set in place for life and not think too much or rely on a FA to manage what they can do themselves without paying 1.5% a year. I think this is a good recommendation.

We have to update soon and I think I will include these ideas. Both of the grown children are responsible people but don't really have a clue about handling or investing money. I think they would appreciate the guidance.


Cheers!