Depressed.....What to do?

C

Cantwaitanylonger

Recycles dryer sheets
Joined
Aug 13, 2014
Messages
79
Location
Minneapolis
Hello, Need impartial input.

57 Years old and just laid off a month ago for the first time ever. Can't get any bites on my job search.

My situation, Engineer, 850K in 401K, 50K cash, Own a separate duplex that flows 1K per month, Wife makes $800 per month, House is worth 800K (12K taxes per year), House and duplex are paid off. No debt whatsoever.

While at work, I dreamed constantly about ER. Now, though, I am very depressed over losing my job. I can't convince myself that I can just retire yet. I am going crazy just waiting for the phone to ring. I can't enjoy my time off at all.

Anyone want to give me some hope or advice?
 
Cantwaitanylonger said:
Hello, Need impartial input.



57 Years old and just laid off a month ago for the first time ever. Can't get any bites on my job search.



My situation, Engineer, 850K in 401K, 50K cash, Own a separate duplex that flows 1K per month, Wife makes $800 per month, House is worth 800K (12K taxes per year), House and duplex are paid off. No debt whatsoever.



While at work, I dreamed constantly about ER. Now, though, I am very depressed over losing my job. I can't convince myself that I can just retire yet. I am going crazy just waiting for the phone to ring. I can't enjoy my time off at all.



Anyone want to give me some hope or advice?
Click to expand...



Off the cuff, you could sell the house, move into duplex, and retire, no?

By the time you do all that, you'll have another job or your mind has moved on.
 
Sorry about the layoff.

Have you run your numbers thru Firecalc (link at bottom of page) yet?

omni
 
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If you're not quite ready to retire, have you looked into contract engineering work? You could try that for a few years.
 
I could live in the duplex but wife won't. We are in our dream house that we built 10 years ago. A logical move would be to downsize but I hate to make any rash decisions while I am in a depressed state. I haven't run firecalc lately. I will run again tonight. I have been somewhat paralyzed with depression.
 
or sell the house and buy something 1/4 the cost. Not sure if that is feasible in your area or not.
 
Don't you have severance and/unemployment coming in? Take a deep breath...can your wife pick up more hours? The 12 grand in property taxes is a bit of a problem.
 
I have not tried to get a contract position yet. That will be my next step. Wife is maxed out on hours. I do have unemployment for 6 months. Taking a breather sounds good but isn't working for me in this state of mind. I can't seem to control my reaction.
 
When I was a child and something went wrong, my mom would say "Count your blessings." At the time, it seemed somewhat of an irritant, but now I've come to embrace that philosophy (benefit of age, perhaps.) You can think positively about your assets and options. While it might mean changing your life style, you certainly are far from destitute. You are in much better shape financially than most of your peers (at least age-wise). You and DW can huddle and figure this out. Don't hesitate to bounce ideas off the group. We're here for you.
 
Have you been offered outplacement services from your ex employer? I was laid off once as an engineer and took advantage of that. They help with resume preparation, interviewing techniques, etc.
 
My dad used to say that all the time. I agree completely with your kind response. I do need to be grateful for what I have. I thought that I would be able to handle this better. I feel like kind of a wuss.
 
Do you need to talk to a Dr. about your depression? There is a lot of help available.
 
While you are on company medial, and/or cobra, please seek out counseling services for your health. This is your first priority.

Good luck.
 
My former employer offered nothing. I have a high deductible cobra plan. The first 14k is on me so I don't want to spend $$ on a doctor.
 
I have a relative who needs to talk to a counselor and or use other services from time to time and it really makes a difference. It can be money very well spent when needed. Please take good care of yourself.
 
My dream house is one that doesn't cost me a lot in real estate taxes, insurance etc. I would do as others suggest and sell the house. If you are truly depressed, nothing wrong with seeking professional help.

Best of luck to you.
 
Cantwaitanylonger said:
My former employer offered nothing. I have a high deductible cobra plan. The first 14k is on me so I don't want to spend $$ on a doctor.
Click to expand...

Address the depression first. That will give you a better outlook and may help with clearer family planning.

Getting a job as an engineer or other professional position takes some doing these days. Your best bet is networking with other engineers you know in other companies (if you have any) or to network in a professional organization in your field.

All my professional job changes came thru the networking I did - 3 companies over 30 years as an engineer/manager.
 
I was depressed. A man told me to read a chapter of the Bible everyday and go to church on Sunday. I did and the depression left me.
 
I guess you were caught off guard. I know how you feel. I think financially you are ok. You need to think about doing something interesting to fill your time
 
Would she change her mind about downsizing, though, if it comes to a financial pinch? You aren't there yet, and with luck, won't ever be there, so no decision needs to be made yet. It's just something to have at the back of your minds, if the need presents itself.

Count me among those who say "treat the depression," same as you would pay a Dr. to treat any other serious ailment. As you wisely note, your decisions may not be as well-thought-out while you're depressed and anxious. And good luck with the job search...I can't even imagine the fear and frustration you must be enduring.

Amethyst

Cantwaitanylonger said:
I could live in the duplex but wife won't. We are in our dream house that we built 10 years ago. .
Click to expand...
 
I find it helpful to follow the old saying, hope for the best, plan for the worst. With the financial picture you laid out, I would make a plan that if I didn't find a new job in X days, I agree with the other posters to look for lower cost and lower property tax housing, whether that was moving into the rental or some place else. By making that one change you could cut your expenses and concurrently increase your retirement income by moving some of your current home equity to investments.

I don't think it is unusual to be depressed after a job loss. You might have to work through the various stages of grief and one of those is depression.
 
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I want to thank everyone for the awesome responses. It helps to hear from others that care. The duplex is worth about 200K. I could sell the house, buy a smaller one for around 300K and cash out 500K. That would solve everything and I could probably retire and do the handyman thing. The house is on a lake and I always pictured my future grandkids coming over to enjoy this place. I'm not sure I want to give up that dream yet.

I agree with the idea of a plan and have been thinking of the following (Worst Case Scenario):

Take 4% of 850K for the next 10 years until SS at FRA. That gives 34K/year. (probably worst case is I end up with 850-340=510K in 10 years) I would have to think of something for the next 2 years to not pay a penalty, probably a job of some sort.
Duplex yields 12K/year
Wife gets 10K/year
I somehow make 20K/year (i will probably make much more than this)
Total = 76K

At FRA, wife's SS plus my SS plus downsize house plus whats left of the 850K = my remaining nut.

This plan actually gives me some hope.
 
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