Depressed.....What to do?

[Scuba]

Awesome! Now you can decide if you REALLY want this since Firecalc results were so good for you. Maybe this or the other company's offer will give you the opportunity to transition into ER on your terms. Well done!

 

[ivinsfan]

 

[Cantwaitanylonger]

Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while.

Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall.

This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it.

Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

 

[ndnguy822000]

Good to hear

 

[omni550]

Well everyone, I now have a pretty good job offer sitting in my grubby hands. It is slightly less $$ than I was making, but the insurance is much cheaper and much better. They also offer a better 401K match and a better vacation allowance. In the end, it ends up being pretty close to where I was.

I still have another interview next week at another good company. I am now in the drivers seat for the first time in a while. Thanks for all the great advice and well wishes.

Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while.

Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall.

This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it.

Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

WooHoo!!!! Congrats on the job offer and the mindset shift (which took some work on your part. ).

It sounds like you've acquired a good perspective on where you are and what you need to do going forward. That's got to feel good.

omni

 

[kgtest]

I could live in the duplex but wife won't. We are in our dream house that we built 10 years ago. A logical move would be to downsize but I hate to make any rash decisions while I am in a depressed state. I haven't run firecalc lately. I will run again tonight. I have been somewhat paralyzed with depression.

You have 50k in cash and your wife brings in $9600 annually plus the rental income.

Sounds like you could run about 3years before depleting ALL cash, investments and your wife's income. Will you have enough after that to continue to live off investments? If so. keep living at $30,000/yr with wife working until she doensnt need to anymore.

My property taxes are $4,000 annually. You must live in a mansion.

 

[Mdlerth]

The deeper magic

Thank you all for your kind responses. It's funny how your (my) brain works. I am actually having second thoughts about now taking the job. I feel better now that I have an offer but am getting used to having some time off and doing some things that I have not been able to do for a while.

Make no mistake, second thoughts aside, I will take one of the jobs. I need to add a little post tax cash to my portfolio. I need to update several vehicles with over 500K miles between the two. I may just work thru June of next year and then take the summer off and look again next fall.

This has been a learning experience and has opened my eyes up to some new possibilities. As painful as it was, I am a better person for it.

Oh, and I am keeping the house for now. It's paid for and my duplex covers the taxes. The lake house market here has a mind of it's own and these houses are generally in fairly high demand. The 800K estimate of it's value is probably a little low given some recent sales in the area. I'm thinking that it would probably sell in 900 - 1.0 bracket. I know, that makes it an even larger % of my portfolio. It's kind of a pent-up forced savings account that we can live in and the kids love. I can afford it for the time being, especially with a job for now. So, I will enjoy for now and re-evaluate in a year or so.

Dear Cantwait,

Congratulations on having created some additional options. I agree that you should take one of the j*bs and keep w*rking for a while... a year, two years, whatever. Not because of the money but because, from interpreting your posts, you aren't mentally ready.

There are dozens/hundreds/thousands of members here who, over two decades, have posted about a variety of RE topics. The data show that many of those posts deal with NON-financial aspects of retirement. I can't help but notice that many posts are pleas for reassurance. The OPs cite conclusive $$ cases, and yet resist FIREing for a variety of other reasons. For many of our fellows, those NON-financial considerations are the determining factors.

It's abundantly clear that your distress isn't driven by concern over finances so much as over human issues. Your feelings of rejection and helplessness are palpable in your messages, so much so that it appears you would have written the same posts even if you had simultaneously won a lottery prize.

Some people come here seeking financial counsel. No problem with that. There is plenty of advice regarding fund fees and asset allocations which will bring you enormous benefits over the coming decades.

But your critical issue is one of feelings, not of accounting. The most important thing you can do is to ask yourself questions regarding priorities, etc. Much better to know your own mind and worry about the questions later.

When your head is ready for RE, you'll know it. Good luck!

 

[Cantwaitanylonger]

I just wanted to share with you fine people that I have accepted a very nice job offer today. Thank you all for helping me get through a very tough time in my life. I really needed the hope and inspiration that was provided. Hopefully, the next time I leave a job it will be my choice.

Here's to a happy future....

 

[Nemo2]

I just wanted to share with you fine people that I have accepted a very nice job offer today. Thank you all for helping me get through a very tough time in my life. I really needed the hope and inspiration that was provided. Hopefully, the next time I leave a job it will be my choice.

Here's to a happy future....

Good luck, and all the best! Come back and tell us how things go....and also chat about other, unrelated, stuff.

 

[KB]

Good news. Glad you found a job and are happy about returning to work.

 

[tmm99]

Hey, congrats! Good for you!

 

[omni550]

WooHoo!! Congrats.

Enjoy it...and please keep us posted.

omni

 

[GravitySucks]

Congrats. Keep paying into that SS

 

[CoolRich59]

... seek out counseling services for your health. This is your first priority.

Good luck.

This ^^^^^^

Depression is not something to take lightly. Talk to a pro asap.

Depression is probably the wrong term for my condition. I was just really down for several weeks after the job loss. I didn't eat, lost weight, couldn't sleep, had major constant anxiety, and couldn't stop the mental churning that was bringing me down. I was at the lowest point when I started this post. I just needed someone to talk to, and I didn't want my family to know the depths of my despair. I am somewhat better and mostly over it by now, but it still is there in the background to some extent.

Not to be a wet blanket, but this is a topic I have some experience with. As Doc0 said, don't diagnose yourself. Talk to a pro.

 

[MarieIG]

Congratulations on your new job!

 

[Cantwaitanylonger]

I feel like I owe you fine people an update. I have been working at my new job for 5 weeks now and all is well. I was lucky enough to find a really good job at a really good company, working for and with people I really like. I can easily finish my working life at this place. Thank you for all your comments, advice, support, and well wishes. It really helped me out of a pretty dark place in life.

This is one story that did indeed have a happy ending.

 

[ivinsfan]

I feel like I owe you fine people an update. I have been working at my new job for 5 weeks now and all is well. I was lucky enough to find a really good job at a really good company, working for and with people I really like. I can easily finish my working life at this place. Thank you for all your comments, advice, support, and well wishes. It really helped me out of a pretty dark place in life.

This is one story that did indeed have a happy ending.

I'm guessing it was more then good luck..Congratulations and don't be a stranger.

 

[GravitySucks]

Congrats.
Keep coming by.
Glad your paying into that SS fund I'm hoping to get into next year. [emoji12]

 

[tmm99]

Great to hear! Thank you for the update.

 

[Calico]

I feel like I owe you fine people an update. I have been working at my new job for 5 weeks now and all is well. I was lucky enough to find a really good job at a really good company, working for and with people I really like. I can easily finish my working life at this place. Thank you for all your comments, advice, support, and well wishes. It really helped me out of a pretty dark place in life.

This is one story that did indeed have a happy ending.

This is excellent news! Thanks for the update. You can be proud that you were strong enough to reach out for help when you needed it, and you can be equally proud of the resilience you demonstrated by coming through this challenge so well.

 

[ndnguy822000]

Great accomplishment , may you continue to be blessed with consistency for the remainder of your career

 

[gayl]

I feel like I owe you fine people an update. I have been working at my new job for 5 weeks now and all is well. I was lucky enough to find a really good job at a really good company, working for and with people I really like. I can easily finish my working life at this place. Thank you for all your comments, advice, support, and well wishes. It really helped me out of a pretty dark place in life.

This is one story that did indeed have a happy ending.

Great news! Glad you'll be able to choose when to go instead of having to go because of a bad situation

 

[Scuba]

Yes! Always feels better to control one's own destiny to the extent possible. Congratulations! [emoji322]

 

[bclover]

Glad to hear you are doing well. continued success

 

[Spanky]

I am glad that it works out in the end. Good luck with your new job.