Financial "Success/Secrets" you only share with strangers but not families/friends

[HawaiiShrimp]

Financial "Success/Secrets" you only share with strangers but not families/friends

What are some of the financial "Success/Secrets" you can only share with strangers here but not families/friends because the risk of envy, jealousy or unwanted attention. For me, that is: I made $4m last year. I am hella happy about it but it seems socially unacceptable to share that with friends or even relatives because it will always appear as 'showing off' somehow...

What's yours?

 

[mrfeh]

We don't share any financial info with friends or family. Nobody knows our net worth.

Folks can see that we are both retired in our mid-fifties, but no details are given.

 

[FANOFJESUS]

What are some of the financial "Success/Secrets" you can only share with strangers here but not families/friends because the risk of envy, jealousy or unwanted attention. For me, that is: I made $4m last year. I am hella happy about it but it seems socially unacceptable to share that with friends or even relatives because it will always appear as 'showing off' somehow...

What's yours?

If you shared that with my relatives they would want $4m it is that simple. They would not view it as showing off but happy you told them.

 

[finnski1]

We don't share any financial info with friends or family. Nobody knows our net worth.

Folks can see that we are both retired in our mid-fifties, but no details are given.

Same here. Although we are now in our mid 60's.

 

[jebmke]

Why would I share financial information with a stranger? In fact, I make some effort to cloak it. Much of our charitable donations are done anonymously -- especially to local charities. I do not use a local estate lawyer and don't bank locally.

 

[RunningBum]

Why would I share financial information with a stranger? In fact, I make some effort to cloak it. Much of our charitable donations are done anonymously -- especially to local charities. I do not use a local estate lawyer and don't bank locally.

+1

 

[RetMD21]

What are some of the financial "Success/Secrets" you can only share with strangers here but not families/friends because the risk of envy, jealousy or unwanted attention. For me, that is: I made $4m last year. I am hella happy about it but it seems socially unacceptable to share that with friends or even relatives because it will always appear as 'showing off' somehow...

What's yours?

income, savings rate, and net worth are best kept quiet in the real life

 

[iloveyoga]

I don't really have any success secrets, we did it the slow boring way and I don't really discuss this with anyone. I help my Mom and sis with their money matters so we talk in general.

 

[Ronstar]

I don't have financial success, so I have no financial success secrets.

 

[Markola]

It is a great paradox, isn’t it, HawaiiShrimp? From the Jamestown Colony’s founding in 1603, this whole society was set up for people to make money. We dress up the folklore with the supposed religious freedom exercised by the utterly intolerant, later Plymouth Colony, but this place was founded for people to have a chance to get rich. Can we talk about it when someone actually does? Oh, no. Can’t do that.

 

[COcheesehead]

When you look relatively young and you aren’t working, its hard to hide your early retirement success. I have only had one person ask for more details, an older brother and when I told him what we had, he got real quiet. Most don’t ask or likely care. All that matters is our personal well being and contentment.

 

[jollystomper]

What are some of the financial "Success/Secrets" you can only share with strangers here but not families/friends because the risk of envy, jealousy or unwanted attention. For me, that is: I made $4m last year. I am hella happy about it but it seems socially unacceptable to share that with friends or even relatives because it will always appear as 'showing off' somehow...

What's yours?

Most folks here use the "Share Your FIRE Milestones" thread for items like this .

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Why would I share financial information with a stranger? In fact, I make some effort to cloak it. Much of our charitable donations are done anonymously -- especially to local charities. I do not use a local estate lawyer and don't bank locally.

+1000. I am a firm believer and a member of the church of "stealth wealth"

 

[TOOLMAN]

"I talk about money, but not the amount" - a billionaire once told me this.

 

[ElizabethT]

We are discreet with all but our oldest DD, as she is laser focused on FIRE, and already ahead of where we were at her age, and loves talking financial strategies more than almost any other topic. But crickets anywhere else.

We had a pretty awful and awkward moment when we bought our current home a few years back. After escrow closed, the listing agent blanketed the neighborhood with postcards announcing that our house had closed for all cash. As if that were somehow a reflection of her stellar selling abilities? So p#ssed about that. Still p#ssed actually, though I'm sure it's been long forgotten by the neighbors.

 

[Souschef]

One day we showed up in our park with 2 new cars. Someone made a comment, and I mumbled something about car payments. In truth, this was the first car in DW's life that she did not have to make car payments on.
I have been gifting our 4 sons the max (16K) each. They have to be really dense when they know I am gifting $64K a year.

 

[brett]

We view it like we view faith.

It is very personal. We see no reason to share it with anyone. We do not wear it on our sleeve.

Retired in our 50's

Our lifestyle does not reflect our net worth. That is how we like it. Neither of our children have a clue. If they did......

No secrets. Mostly a common sense approach to living, spending, investing, and reaching out to grab opportunities that pass in front of us.

 

[ElizabethT]

I have been gifting our 4 sons the max (16K) each. They have to be really dense when they know I am gifting $64K a year.

Isn't the max actually twice that for a couple? Not saying you need to, BTW - just clarifying.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

One day we showed up in our park with 2 new cars. Someone made a comment, and I mumbled something about car payments. In truth, this was the first car in DW's life that she did not have to make car payments on.
I have been gifting our 4 sons the max (16K) each. They have to be really dense when they know I am gifting $64K a year.

Yet you still gift them money?

 

[jebmke]

One day we showed up in our park with 2 new cars. Someone made a comment, and I mumbled something about car payments. In truth, this was the first car in DW's life that she did not have to make car payments on.
I have been gifting our 4 sons the max (16K) each. They have to be really dense when they know I am gifting $64K a year.

The sons or the strangers in the park?

 

[Rianne]

The problem with sharing success information with family/friends is the uncomfortable stress in the air when said family/friends are in financial trouble. We made a mistake by sharing some of the information. Thus, in a social group situation, the topic, although not directly talked about, is hanging in the air.

I'm your relative/BFF, you have money, I need money, help me out. This is awful. It is 100% the best to keep your stuff private. There's nothing wrong with talking about strategy or LBYM type saving or investing. Just keep the numbers out of it.

 

[Aerides]

Sharing success can be done gracefully without sharing numbers.

- and personal success is far more interesting than "i have more money now"

 

[ElizabethT]

The problem with sharing success information with family/friends is the uncomfortable stress in the air when said family/friends are in financial trouble. We made a mistake by sharing some of the information. Thus, in a social group situation, the topic, although not directly talked about, is hanging in the air.

I'm your relative/BFF, you have money, I need money, help me out. This is awful. It is 100% the best to keep your stuff private. There's nothing wrong with talking about strategy or LBYM type saving or investing. Just keep the numbers out of it.

I agree that as soon as a figure is put out there, it's a big fat line in the sand. I will say, though, that we have been crystal clear with our daughters that if they bump into financial challenges, we are here as a last resort, but only with regard to a room in our home, and a well stocked kitchen. Not one dollar ever (we do gift frequently, but that is entirely different IMO from bailing someone out) will we loan because whatever negative financial situation. they are in is likely a result of a multitude of bad financial decisions previously, and nothing we give them in the short run will change that going forward until they first do the needed heavy lifting.

The same applies to our living parents. A room in our home for sure, and a well stocked kitchen pantry, but the rest is up to them to figure out. With our advice if asked, but not our dollars. Us becoming less financially secure isn't going to help anyone.

 

[Souschef]

Isn't the max actually twice that for a couple? Not saying you need to, BTW - just clarifying.

Yes it is for a couple. Actually to stretch it, if you are a couple gifting to a couple, it is 4 times.
W1 to W2
H1 to W2
W1 to H2
H1 to H2

 

[Gumby]

I have been objectively the most financially successfully one in my family since the day I graduated from college, and they all just assume that the young wife and I have plenty of assets. But I have never talked to them about money and never will. Nor do I discuss it with friends.