FIRE and kids

[livingalmostlarge]

We went to a corn maze this weekend with friends who are also chasing FIRE. Our kids are the same age and we're similar age and backgrounds. In theory they should easily outpace but they spend more because they are dual income and we are not. And so they spend more and recognize it. So their number is higher. But our timing has always been close.

Our kids are in 7th and 5th, and until recently my DH has said 2034 because he liked the idea of working until the DK2 finished college. Our friends were hoping to be done by 2028 or 2030 when the kids finished high school. That looks impossible with the hit the market is taking and obviously all "models" that predicted 10% returns to get them to the number has taken a shellacking.

The jobs are tiring and stressful and they want to walk away. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think if they can make it to 2028 or 2030, it'll be way easier. These are some of the most tiring/stressful years with the kids needing us to drive them to activities, getting ready for college. It's stressful and expensive in a way that it's different from when they were young but still there.

I think once the kids leave home (We both want them to go and experience college, not live at home) while they might work full time for a bit more to hit their number, life will be easier. Empty nest?

They'll have so much time to themselves they won't know what to do. The husband looked off and said that might be true. We're just in the trenches of child-rearing and personally I know it's exhausting right now but I don't want to miss a minute. I feel like I blinked and the breastfeeding exhaustion days were just here.

Now I have a DK who i look at and wonder when did she get as tall as me? And I'm looking at a young adult not a kid anymore. Then I hear the sighs and eye rolls and know I have my teen. It seems so fast. And life while tiring is easier in someways.

So what is it like if you worked while chasing FIRE during the kids college years? Was it easier? Knowing the number is there?

 

[MichaelB]

Is it safe to assume the projections include the possibility of graduate school, and have provisions for weddings? Is there any chance the college grads may want to continue living with mom and dad for “a while”?

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We retired before our kids were in college, so I don't have an answer to that. But time wise, life with kids for us got a lot easier for us once they and their friends started driving. Like even before our own kids started driving, some of the other moms and I paid one of the friends who had a license to do the car pool to and from school.

Tracy Ulman has a pretty funny skit on this - Prison Mum - Tracey Ullman's Show: Series 2 Episode 4 Preview - BBC One - YouTube

 

[Looking4Ward]

I FIRED when my son was 8 years old. Now, he's a senior in high school. I moved him to one of the best districts in the state with one of the highest rated public schools in the country. Note that I never planned to keep living in this HCOL area.

I was prepared to help him pay for college. He initially wanted to go to college for aerospace engineering and participate in Air Force ROTC for both the financial assistance and to be able to enlist as an officer when he graduated college.

But now that it's come time to apply to colleges and scholarships, his grades and SAT scores won't get him into the top tier colleges. In fact, they may not get him into any college. His backup plan is to enlist in the Air Force after he graduates and become a pilot.

He graduates in May and I'm already looking at housing in another part of the state. If he makes it into a college, he'll live on campus. If he doesn't, he'll enlist.

My point is that sometimes our kids don't follow the hopeful plans we have setout for them. We can only point them in the right direction, provide them with opportunity, encourage, and support them. But ultimately their future is up to them and I didn't want to find myself locked in both financially and geographically based on the direction I had hoped he would take.

 

[NgineER]

Not FIREd yet, my four kids are ages 6-15. I was planning to pull the plug at 50, in three years, but decided to build up the buffer to not have to worry about money as much and I am planning to go until 55 to get the benefit of 401k availability, stock options vesting and have the first one through college. My DW is SAHM and I can't wait to join her, but most of the time I enjoy what I do and don't mind it too much. But it would be better to not have to w0rk. We have realized that we can ease up on the stringent budget and spend more, and also recognize that the kids are getting more expensive for each year that passes. I wish there was more time each day as it still feels too busy at times.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Our kids went to college tuition free after we retired. We had most of our assets in financial aid exempt categories and could keep our income under the state grant maximum income, which was similar to the ACA cliff at the time, so we had that limit anyway. One in a high demand field had a six month payback on college, which will be down to a couple months if the student loan forgiveness program goes through. The other went to work full time before graduating for the place they were working at as a paid intern, and then enrolled in an online program to finish their degree. Retiring early and college years for the kids worked out pretty well for all of us. Between the grants, paid internships, tax credits, summer jobs, community college course credits, etc. we didn't spend much out of pocket at all.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Once kids can drive it’s a lot easier. By the time my youngest was in 5th grade I was back to working full time as it was too boring to be home. Kids in high school have busy lives between school, sports, homework, part time jobs, etc.

 

[ncbill]

My kids also attended college tuition free via agreeing to work for Uncle Sam afterwards (ROTC scholarships)

Many states, though, offer tuition waivers at in-state, public schools for their National Guard members.

Had my youngest not gotten a last-minute ROTC scholarship to a private college he would have moved to another state & joined that state's National Guard to be eligible for tuition waivers at their flagship public university.

Otherwise, he would have had to pay out-of-state tuition that was as expensive as private.

 

[livingalmostlarge]

I figured it gets less busy if they start to drive. But it still feels very busy right now in the midst.

I set aside money for our kids to get married, buy a home, and college all separately. So I guess it's sort of planned out. Unsure about our friends. Totally true about not knowing what your kids will be lik

 

[Koolau]

Is it safe to assume the projections include the possibility of graduate school, and have provisions for weddings? Is there any chance the college grads may want to continue living with mom and dad for “a while”?

Heh,heh, not sure what it says about mom and dad, but our kids couldn't wait to get out of the house. I actually retired before the last one got out of HS. She too couldn't wait to go to college and be out from under mom and dad. The good news is we have good relationships with all the kids now. I think they grew up a lot being on their own. YMMV

 

[jollystomper]

Since I enjoyed my job, I was never in that tiring-stressful-job-want-to-leave-as-soon-as-possible mode . I was in the get-all-major-expenses-out-of-the-way-before-retirement mode. So I timed my FIRE to be after our kids graduated college (or they exceeded Mom and Dads college years allocation and went into Bluto Blutarsky mode, at which point they were on their own).

Fortunately my peak earning years were when we had multiple kids in college, and despite the expense to still max out retirement savings and do some taxable savings/investments as well. So even though the numbers said I could FIRE, getting past those college (and launch) years was worth it for us.

Edited to add: A slight tangent, but since the concerns in the OP's post also mentioned "the hit the markets are taking", a related reason for working longer was to build up a cash buffer as to not have to rely on selling equities to fund our retirement expenses, easier when the major expenses are taken care of before retirement.