T minus ~30 days

[Conundrum]

Going to pursue either a FMLA or Personal Leave to sort this all out. My health has been horribly affected by all this and quite frankly it's a miracle I'm still here to talk about it. That is, once I can freaking get a damn Dr. appointment.

I’m NOT a doctor, but you should get to urgent/immediate care ASAP.

 

[limeyx]

I hear ya guys..I'm "very" slightly above my comfort level # and have a gazillion house repair and tax payments to make. It's not logical but purely psychological - I want the buffer to cover those expenses and stay north of the "safe" (to me) number. I also want to take DW to Africa to see the animals - it's our dream and going to cost probably $20K+ alone. Makes no sense to hold out for every last $ I can, but that's just me - totally illogical at times.

That said, I told my wife yesterday that I "feel like I'm signing my (career) death certificate" by leaving. 54 yo white guy. No job prospects. I've seen this movie and it does not end well.

Wife responded by saying "you're signing your ACTUAL death certificate by not leaving".

Wise words but this has been an excruciating move to make. Those who have suggested I need counseling by smart people with a bunch of fancy letters after their name are probably right. I clearly have security issues.

Honestly though what are they going to "do to you" if you decline the 5 hour meeting or work 8 hours a day ? $10K is not worth your health and are they really going to try to fire someone who already retired ?

 

[24601NoMore]

Now it's about $10k? Did the stock tank in the last 3 weeks?

No - I vest multiple times per quarter (already vested the bulk of them for this Q) and the remaining shares this quarter are about net $10K after sale of shares to pay taxes. There's still a pretty good amount of unvested shares to vest in future quarters that is the heavy six figures part.

 

[Aerides]

I think most of us understand this is 100% psychological. We've all given you practical ways to handle this, but you are not able to look at them objectively and seem embedded, anchored, in your situation. (and before you wave us off, most of us posting have been there, done that, and gotten out regardless).

That's why I said I think somewhere deep down there's something you must really love about it. Not on a conscious level. But with no practical reason to be there, a mental one is the only thing that makes sense. (10k is NOT it when you counter that you believe you are hastening your death).

You've also hesitated these past few pages to post the vest date, because you are not sure of yourself, and want to avoid the "it's after MM/DD why haven't you...." posts that will follow.

 

[camfused]

Ok man, I am giving up and going to stay out of it. Do what you want, and ignore the advice of all the me too'ers here. Let us know how it works out, if you survive.

Ok, that sounds maybe too harsh, but I do genuinely wish you the best!

 

[Vincenzo Corleone]

Living? Sounds to me like your job is killing you. Why hold out for $10k, to pay for your headstone? Get the hell out now.

+1

 

[24601NoMore]

Hey, gang..quick update..

Last of Q3 stock vests today, so am planning on pulling the plug on Monday.

Has really been a tough decision but the situation is beyond unreasonable. I did hear rumors (pretty well placed source) that our Director "is in trouble" and might either be leaving voluntarily or be asked to leave, but even that won't fix the underlying fundamental problems. He's just a foot soldier doing what the higher ups want, which is where all the trouble originates.

Latest examples..

- EVP asked Director to tell us he wants "linearity" in our business - ie: drive sales on a monthly basis, not quarterly. Problem is - we do large ($100K-$1M) deals and those have long (6-12 month salescycles) and work on the CUSTOMER'S timeframe, not the timeframe WE want. I guess I missed the memo where we all received new super-powers to be able to control our customers to the point we can force them to buy when WE want them to buy.

- We have to do quarterly training, and all of us are behind on it (ie - missed the due date). So, manager sends out an email this AM saying he tried to get us out of it but no luck and we'll all still need to do. Here's the great part - he said "guess I'll be doing it this weekend because I don't have any time during the week" - ie: YOU ALL should ALSO do it this weekend. Um, that'd be no. I'm not working 60-80 hours a week AND also giving up the only free time I get during the week to do a training. These people are seriously disconnected from reality.

I can't really seem to get myself over the hump on this and am having some pretty strong panic attacks just thinking about bailing. But it's abundantly obvious things can't continue the way they are.

More to come I'm sure.

 

[MBAustin]

RetireSoon, we hope your conversation to "pull the plug" on Monday goes well and you hold off on those panic attacks. It's definitely a scary thing to do, but you need to do what is best for the rest of your life. Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[SumDay]

Hey, gang..quick update..

I can't really seem to get myself over the hump on this and am having some pretty strong panic attacks just thinking about bailing. But it's abundantly obvious things can't continue the way they are.

More to come I'm sure.

I was amazed at how much relief I got when I finally gave notice. But I gave too much notice (5 months) and in typical megacorp fashion, I'm leaving in 10 working days and now they're panicking. So I'm stressing now too, but I can handle anything for 10 days. Knowing it will be completely over in short fashion is keeping me sane.


The quicker you give notice, and the shorter it is, the better. Get the hell outta Dodge and relax and rejuvenate! You owe it to yourself - you owe them nothing.

 

[Conundrum]

Forget about the why’s now. You’re outta there! Congratulations

 

[REWahoo]

Forget about the why’s now. You’re outta there!

+1

Life will get much better once you learn how to put all that cr*p behind you - the sooner the better. Not your problem any more, stop wallowing in the drama! Get on with living.

 

[ocean view]

Do it today and enjoy your weekend. If you wait until Monday, you’ll fret about it all weekend. If they walked you out today, you’d still vest your options...you made it! Go talk to the boss now and start planning that trip with your wife.

 

[24601NoMore]

Do it today and enjoy your weekend. If you wait until Monday, you’ll fret about it all weekend. If they walked you out today, you’d still vest your options...you made it! Go talk to the boss now and start planning that trip with your wife.

Not sure about that..they could make my term date today, in which case I'd probably forfeit the RSUs (at least per my read of the agreement).

ETA - you're absolutely right about fretting all weekend. I've never been so stressed out of my mind in my entire life and I just want it all to end. I'm not sleeping well. Drinking too much. Basically freaking the F out. Feeling like I've failed my life and walking out with my tail between my legs even though that's illogical and DW keeps reminding me how lucky I am to be able to retire just this side of 55. Aside from that, all is good.

 

[Carpediem]

I'm looking forward to following your post-j*b success story and adventures. Good luck!

 

[24601NoMore]

I did talk with a very good buddy of mine who's in the same business as me..he's turning 62 this year and still able to get interviews. He hates his job also and is interviewing next week in fact. So, that does give me hope (where I previously had little) that it's not too late in life to make a move. He suggested I take a few months off..get my passion back..and make another run at it. Still don't know if I'll actually be "done" with this all or not when I leave, but I've looked for a gig with no job before, and it is HARD. And here I'm willingly putting my head in the guillotine. WTF is wrong with me?

 

[Scuba]

I did talk with a very good buddy of mine who's in the same business as me..he's turning 62 this year and still able to get interviews. He hates his job also and is interviewing next week in fact. So, that does give me hope (where I previously had little) that it's not too late in life to make a move. He suggested I take a few months off..get my passion back..and make another run at it. Still don't know if I'll actually be "done" with this all or not when I leave, but I've looked for a gig with no job before, and it is HARD. And here I'm willingly putting my head in the guillotine. WTF is wrong with me?

My hope for you is that you will quit your job and enjoy your time off so much, you never go back to work.

 

[SumDay]

RetireSoon, where are you? Whatcha doin'?

 

[AS2019]

I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to hear how this turned out.

To the OP, I do feel your pain. My work continues to become less enjoyable. And to be honest, I don’t know if it’s the nature of the work that has changed, or if I’m just becoming less tolerant of the BS. The stress is getting to me. But, like many people before me have said, the stress is self-induced. Sure, my boss is asking me to do things I don’t like doing, so it is stressful. But I have to keep reminding myself that I have food, shelter, family, and I’m not in physical danger. Im FI. They can’t MAKE me do anything. They can terminate me for NOT doing something, but so what? Would that really be that bad?

And I also agree with others that $10,000 is precious little money when you’re already FI and can retire.

But again, I’m anxious to hear the end of this story.

 

[mystang52]

I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to hear how this turned out.

Frankly, I'm not on the edge. As this thread developed, I became a bit more skeptical.

 

[pacergal]

Frankly, I'm not on the edge. As this thread developed, I became a bit more skeptical.

+1
OP: I have re read some of your other posts. In one of your first ones, you stated that you had a paid off house, no debt, no kids and Firecalc had you at 100%.
This seems a purely psychological dilemma for you. You have lived through your DW surviving a heart issue. You state you are severely stressed and drinking more.
You may continue down this road until you DO give yourself a heart attack, or you may walk away, relax, and enjoy life with your wife in retirement.
Your choice.
Peace to you

 

[24601NoMore]

Hi guys..no need to be skeptical. This has been an excruciatingly difficult decision for me everything else aside.

As I've mentioned, I grew up poor. Not middle class - POOR. So, even the THOUGHT of walking away from a steady W-2 income is simply terrifying to me. I've lived through the days of literally not having ONE DOLLAR (true story) to do something we wanted to do. Those memories do not fade.

On the other hand, w*rk has become intolerable. Just today, I had a politically powerful co-worker mandate that she wanted something major from me in a completely unreasonable timeframe. I attempted to tactfully explain why we wouldn't be able to do that and what we COULD do, but of course my constantly "politics first, damn the people" Director cow-towed to her and said "of course we'll do that". As my Dad used to say, what do you mean "we", white boy? You got a mouse in your pocket? Of course, to meet the deadline would mean working 20 hours a day including 20 hours a day Saturday and Sunday. So, he can commit all he wants - I'm not meeting the date and don't give a rat's patookie.

I originally intended to quit yesterday and obviously didn't. It occurred to me I have a pile of expenses I hadn't really thought through yet (new roof @ $18K, new floor after a flood of ~$5K..landscape repairs of ~$4K..upcoming trip of $3-4K) that I didn't want to dip into my piggy bank for. So had considered staying another couple of months to pay for all that - but after today, all bets truly are off and I may just live with the dent to the piggy bank. As you guys have all said, it is simply not worth dying for - and if I keep this up, that's not completely out of the question. Staying here is unhealthy and I know it. The only question is if I can get up the cajones to "break up" with my company. It's not easy as you guys know, but at least I have a solid "Plan B". Let's hope it's as good of a plan as I've always thought it is.

 

[REWahoo]

I originally intended to quit yesterday and obviously didn't. It occurred to me I have a pile of expenses I hadn't really thought through yet (new roof @ $18K, new floor after a flood of ~$5K..landscape repairs of ~$4K..upcoming trip of $3-4K) that I didn't want to dip into my piggy bank for. So had considered staying another couple of months to pay for all that - but after today, all bets truly are off and I may just live with the dent to the piggy bank. As you guys have all said, it is simply not worth dying for - and if I keep this up, that's not completely out of the question.

This is like the old serial movies - a cliff hanger at the end of every [-]episode[/-] post.

Not sure if I want to keep coming back to see if the good guys win...

 

[kimcdougc]

You know the old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? This reminds me of that saying. Good luck OP but you can't just keep floating down the river. Just do it or suck it up and keep working. Life is short and getting shorter by the minute.

Good luck with your decision, either way.

 

[Cassius King]

As MY father used to say: "Sh!t or get off the pot!"

Time to move on.

 

[24601NoMore]

Hey..no need to keep reading if you're not interested. You asked..I updated.

Sheesh.

What part about THIS. IS. NOT. EASY. was unclear?!

Happy to keep my problems to myself going forward.