Today's WSJ article about return of adult children

[ratto]

I was particularly struck at the end of this article: Generation Jobless: The Toll on Parents When Kids Return Home - WSJ.com.

"Once he's working full-time, he'll live at home for a year so he can begin repaying his $20,000 in college debt, say his parents, who plan to charge him $100 a month in rent. But Jake has different plans: "If I am going to pay the rent, I might as well move out of the house," he says."

What kind of education did Jake really get from school and his parents anyway?

 

[Mulligan]

I was particularly struck at the end of this article: Generation Jobless: The Toll on Parents When Kids Return Home - WSJ.com.

"Once he's working full-time, he'll live at home for a year so he can begin repaying his $20,000 in college debt, say his parents, who plan to charge him $100 a month in rent. But Jake has different plans: "If I am going to pay the rent, I might as well move out of the house," he says."

What kind of education did Jake really get from school and his parents anyway?

I could see my daughter having to do this considering her career choice. $100 is too generous. I would charge her $250-300 a month as that is affordable even if she worked at McDonalds fulltime. When she is finally ready to leave, I will give her all her money back she paid me. I wont tell her this at the time though. I will let her think she is gettting ripped off for the time she is here, then give her money back with the hope its the needed seed money to prevent a return to the nest a third time!

 

[JOHNNIE36]

I could see my daughter having to do this considering her career choice. $100 is too generous. I would charge her $250-300 a month as that is affordable even if she worked at McDonalds fulltime. When she is finally ready to leave, I will give her all her money back she paid me. I wont tell her this at the time though. I will let her think she is gettting ripped off for the time she is here, then give her money back with the hope its the needed seed money to prevent a return to the nest a third time!

Great idea, putting her "rent" away and then giving it all to her when she leaves. Seed money. That might prevent a Mulligan.

 

[Sarah in SC]

When I read that article, I thanked my lucky stars not to have kids, for about the millionth time!

 

[donheff]

DS moved back in for a couple of years and so did DD. We enjoyed having them around in both cases although we were glad to see them move on as well. Never charged them any rent.

 

[Alan]

We were very fortunate with our 2. DD went out of State to college (8 hr drive) and got a job in the same town when she graduated. Financial aid stopped immediately she graduated, and she's never looked back.

DS struggled to graduate but made it 18 months late (took 5.5 years to get a BSc in Computer Science). He returned home with $7k in student debt and stayed with us rent free. It took him 6 weeks to get a job, and then other 6 weeks later he moved out into his own apartment.

We paid off his student loan and he re-paid us interest fee within 12 months. He had a fall from his bike while cycling with us 3 months after he started work and broke both wrists requiring surgery and pins. It was a 20% co-pay and deductible which I happily paid. The kid was doing great and I didn't want him to have to put up with another big financial hit while he was trying to get back on his feet.

That was 4 years ago and he's done great ever since.

 

[youbet]

Our son lived with us for two semesters (different times) while he co-op'd. The university he attended was out of state but his co-op employer was here in Chicago. We were pleased he chose to stay here instead of getting an apartment as it saved money (we might have had to eventually kick in). Between his job and the night classes he took at the local junior college, he was a busy guy so there were no issues.

After graduating, he and his girlfriend got full time jobs here in Chicago and set up housekeeping in an apartment about a half hour from us. That was years ago and they're now married, three kids, house, the whole catastrophe. His childhood bedroom is my office where I'm sitting typing this now.......

In retrospect, that last sememster he lived here while co-oping was a good time. He was 21 so we'd occasionally go out for a pint and talk things over. He helped me with some projects around the house. We did some significant work on his car. When his schedule allowed, I'd have something good coming off the Weber when he got home. It was all good. Now my role seems to be spoiling my grandkids.

I'd gladly do that last few months he lived here again....... I see him at least every week but he's a busy professional with a family and we have a bit of that "Cats in the Cradle" thing going on.......

 

[pb4uski]

I could see my daughter having to do this considering her career choice. $100 is too generous. I would charge her $250-300 a month as that is affordable even if she worked at McDonalds fulltime. When she is finally ready to leave, I will give her all her money back she paid me. I wont tell her this at the time though. I will let her think she is gettting ripped off for the time she is here, then give her money back with the hope its the needed seed money to prevent a return to the nest a third time!

Was doing this with DS until he lost his job and ran out of money. Charged him $400 a month room and board but told him that $300 went into the "DS Freedom Account" that i would give to him when he moved out. He's still here though While I understand that the job market is tough for a 23 yo who hasn't gone to college (or even those who did), I hope he lands something soon and can move on with life.

 

[happy2bretired]

My daughter lived with me all through college and another year after graduation. I charged her $200 a month and she couldn't wait to get her own apartment. She flew the coop right on schedule.

 

[foxfirev5]

Two of our three kids got through school with good jobs and own their own homes. Our oldest went on his own fell flat on his face a couple of times and moved back. We intially thought that charging $100/week less $30 for yardwork would give him motivation. Not in his case. He takes care of the grounds and we hardly know he's around. Everyone's different and this just happens to work for our family.

 

[Sarah in SC]

You know, foxfire, your post actually strikes a familiar chord with me. We have, at times, been very happy to have friends stay with us for extended periods of time, because they help out with the pet care, mowing, and general work involved in running our household, especially when we are traveling. I've never charged anyone rent though. And a couple of them had to be dug out with a shovel, but still, it worked when it did.

 

[Leonidas]

And a couple of them had to be dug out with a shovel, but still, it worked when it did.

I have this vision of you vacuuming around an occupied sleeper sofa at 0430, cheerfully proclaiming, "Wake up sleepy head. We're having chitlins, scrapple, and menudo for breakfast! And when we're done painting the house...well, lunch will just be a surprise!"

 

[Alan]

I've never charged anyone rent though. And a couple of them had to be dug out with a shovel, but still, it worked when it did.

You have zombies for friends? Cool

 

[Koolau]

Here in Paradise, multiple generational (up to 4 generations) living arrangements are quite common and considered normal. For the most part, it is a symbiotic relationship. One generation (often the middle one) is purchasing a house while an older generation can help with the food prep. and/or child care, hold down the fort during the day (younger two generations at work) and kick in some SS money as needed. The youngest generation helps with the huge mortgage payments and performs duties to help the older generations (yard, house maintenance, etc.) In a committed family relationship, it is a thing of beauty. Very "Eastern". Many such folks would be puzzled by the article. The loss of a single j*b within this family unit is a strain, but not a tragedy. Everyone else helps to fill the financial holes and the unemployed contribute by picking up more household duties and/or finding PT w*rk.

 

[REWahoo]

When our oldest graduated college and got a job locally, she moved back in with us for the three months between starting work and her wedding date. I charged her rent, then returned it to her (along with a little extra) as a strings attached* wedding gift.

The youngest spent so much on her wedding the strings broke...and so did I.

* To be used only as a house down payment.

 

[Ronnieboy]

I charge my 22 y.o. $200/mo for rent. Much less than market rates and less than what it actually costs in electricity, gas, water, food, etc. that gets used.
I don't want him to feel like he is getting a totally free ride, plus if I didn't he would spend it on xbox games, ipads, and other new gadgets

 

[Mulligan]

Here in Paradise, multiple generational (up to 4 generations) living arrangements are quite common and considered normal. For the most part, it is a symbiotic relationship. One generation (often the middle one) is purchasing a house while an older generation can help with the food prep. and/or child care, hold down the fort during the day (younger two generations at work) and kick in some SS money as needed. The youngest generation helps with the huge mortgage payments and performs duties to help the older generations (yard, house maintenance, etc.) In a committed family relationship, it is a thing of beauty. Very "Eastern". Many such folks would be puzzled by the article. The loss of a single j*b within this family unit is a strain, but not a tragedy. Everyone else helps to fill the financial holes and the unemployed contribute by picking up more household duties and/or finding PT w*rk.

Im not saying it couldnt do this, but I darn well would have to have a 3 story house. A common grounds area on one level would be fine, but I would need a quiet , "access denied" zone somewhere for me, besides my bedroom. Now back in the college days, the more people we piled in the house to live, the funner it was. Im too old and set in my ways now.

 

[Koolau]

Im not saying it couldnt do this, but I darn well would have to have a 3 story house. A common grounds area on one level would be fine, but I would need a quiet , "access denied" zone somewhere for me, besides my bedroom. Now back in the college days, the more people we piled in the house to live, the funner it was. Im too old and set in my ways now.

Most such "arrangements" here do have some kind of separated quarters for the various generations. In some cases an "unpermitted Ohana" apartment is built on an existing lot. Other times, a second story is added (with or without permit). With space at a premium, even a "Les Nessman" style of privacy can be agreed upon. Still, the "Eastern" family is much less into privacy than those of us who grew up in the West. I couldn't live that way (unless I had to) but i can see the charm of a very close extended family.

 

[foxfirev5]

You know, foxfire, your post actually strikes a familiar chord with me. We have, at times, been very happy to have friends stay with us for extended periods of time, because they help out with the pet care, mowing, and general work involved in running our household, especially when we are traveling. I've never charged anyone rent though. And a couple of them had to be dug out with a shovel, but still, it worked when it did.

Yeah we don't really run a tight ship and actually miss having people around when we're down at the lake. Take it as it comes.

 

[MBAustin]

I think rent is a good idea anytime a college grad comes home for other than true emergency reasons (DH was in a body cast after a car accident not long after he graduated and lived at home until he was back on his feet which totally makes sense). We are very proud of DD who graduated in May (out-of-state), figured out a way to survive for the past 6 months while getting useful experience along the way, and just landed a job that will build on that experience - not her dream job, not highly paid, but more than enough to live on and even save.

We have friends who have allowed their child to live at home rent-free since graduation and the child has held out for their dream job as a result.

YMMV

 

[Alan]

Back in the Dark Ages when I was a lad, paying for 'board' while staying with your parents was normal and expected, at least where I grew up. When I left "High School" I immediately started a summer job and worked for 13 weeks before going to work/college (my parents never paid a penny once I left). However, for those 13 weeks living at home I would hand over my pay packet each week, ~£33, and my mother would take £10 and hand the rest back.

I was very happy with the arrangement but also keen to leave home and be myself.