All of the above.
What would you do? MIL issue
- Thread starter Surewhitey
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All of the above.
What does your wife say? Do that.
REWahoo
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give
^ What he said.
flintnational
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I have a friend that reminds me, "You should not worry about someone more than they worry about themselves". Sorry you are in this situation.
You never say that anyone has asked you for help, or to get involved. At the >very< least, let your MIL or SIL approach you about it, otherwise the next time you hear about this the story will be "well, you guys wanted to get that nice car I had when I was short of money. I sure liked that car, and I paid a lot of money for it over the years."
I'd be inclined to let the car thing take care of itself. If you want to help MIL, then do that in a way that matters and that you choose. Let her take the hit on this car she bought.
brett
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
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MYOB.
Why on earth would you consider buying a car that you do not want?
Let her stop the payments and then have the car repossessed.
Time to end the foolishness.
Unless of course you want to become an enabler. If you do the switch and bail her out she will probably finance another vehicle that she cannot afford six months down the road. Will you buy that one from her as well?
You can’t fix stupid.
Why on earth would you consider buying a car that you do not want?
Let her stop the payments and then have the car repossessed.
Time to end the foolishness.
Unless of course you want to become an enabler. If you do the switch and bail her out she will probably finance another vehicle that she cannot afford six months down the road. Will you buy that one from her as well?
You can’t fix stupid.
Retiredmajor
Recycles dryer sheets
There's no education in the second kick of a mule......even IF pain is involved. I've seen people kicked more than twice and they STILL haven't learned. Why bail her out? If you decide to bail her out, realize what you are doing and what you just taught her.
If you want to help, offer to loan her money at a nominal rate. Don't expect to ever see it again, but if she does repay the loan then you can do the same thing in the future. If you don't see it again and she comes asking for more, you can remind her that she didn't pay back the first loan you gave her.
Just a messy situation overall, but that's what I'd do.
Just a messy situation overall, but that's what I'd do.
Moemg
Gone but not forgotten
I would ignore it and let her figure it out .
Kwirk
Full time employment: Posting here.
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I'm not sure how your proposal could even work. Can you take title to the car without paying off the full loan? Where would she get the $11k difference?
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I haven’t seen it mentioned. Can you counsel SIL not to get involved? A united front would be much more effective and better for all concerned. If MIL, cannot afford the car, what is the harm in letting it be taken back our having MIL go bankrupt? Even if she doesn’t learn her lesson, let someone else pay for her fresh start.
OP
OP
Surewhitey
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I do thank you all for your thoughts. I'm going to not pursue it after thinking about it for the day (& after the subtle comments) 
Will definitely coach SIL. Hope it works out.
Will definitely coach SIL. Hope it works out.
SumDay
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Thank you for making me appreciate my in-laws.
I wouldn't get involved, and I learned that lesson the hard way.
I wouldn't get involved, and I learned that lesson the hard way.
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I do thank you all for your thoughts. I'm going to not pursue it after thinking about it for the day (& after the subtle comments)
Will definitely coach SIL. Hope it works out.
Yes, this.
BTW, I wouldn't let my mother-in-law starve or live under a bridge: but I wouldn't toss money into the trash buying her vehicle. Let it be repossessed. As you said, try to counsel SIL
Why can't MIL sell the car or trade it in for something she can afford? She needs to get what she can get out of it, pocket some money if she can and get a beater if she needs a car to get around. Don't worry about the lost equity in the car. Start from where you are now.
robnplunder
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
If your MIL is getting this kind of mess habitually, stop bailing her out.
brucethebroker
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
+1. I can almost hear the "but I gave you such a good deal on my car" or "I practically gave that car to you" 's coming.
Just this week a friend was telling me about how he and his brother sold Dads car to sis after Dad passed. Gave her a really good price since she is family. Big mistake. 5 years later she still whines about how the tires and brakes needed replacing (after 2 years!), she paid too much, etc. He says he will put Mom's car on Craigslist instead, when the time comes.
brucethebroker
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Yeah, let the car dealer be the bad guy and "cheat" her out of the $11k, not you!
Bamaman
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
You know the dealer hit a home run on that deal. I'd hate to see the APR she's paying. If you were brought in on the initial sale, you probably would have saved her $ thousands on the price of the car and especially on the financing.
Let her sink on her own. She's so deep that there may be no getting out of it--without paying big cash. Tell her she's stuck, and keep on paying those big payments. Or, see if a credit union or other financial institution will payoff the balance and refinance on lower APR.
Stay out of the deal.
Let her sink on her own. She's so deep that there may be no getting out of it--without paying big cash. Tell her she's stuck, and keep on paying those big payments. Or, see if a credit union or other financial institution will payoff the balance and refinance on lower APR.
Stay out of the deal.
jollystomper
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I do thank you all for your thoughts. I'm going to not pursue it after thinking about it for the day (& after the subtle comments)
Will definitely coach SIL. Hope it works out.
That is a very good decision.
I was in a similar situation a few years back. During the housing boom before 2008, my MIL bought a condo in Florida with no money down. It was in a very nice area, for a deadbeat BIL to live in. When she told me about this, I expressed my concerns. Then the recession hits, condo loses half its value, BIL is not working, MIL does not want to keep making the mortgage payments. MIL tries to entice DW into this as a "good investment" that we could use as a vacation home... but with BIL living there with no intention of moving, it surely is not. We politely but firmly declined. Condo was foreclosed, BIL moved in with MIL (where he still lives).
She was not happy with me at the time... but over the years has told DW that it was the right decision. We will get little/none of a inheritance from her (for that and several other reasons), but that is fine with us as we never cared for nor have planned for one.
Col. Klink
Recycles dryer sheets
Correct... and remember, you can't cure stupid!
Badger
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Sounds like MIL's thinker is broken. She has a number of options that have been suggested rather than suggesting that you bail her out. SIL seems to be following her example if she isn't really financially able to assume the loan either. I hope for you that this isn't hereditary. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose.
Cheers!
Cheers!
iloveyoga
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I do thank you all for your thoughts. I'm going to not pursue it after thinking about it for the day (& after the subtle comments)
Will definitely coach SIL. Hope it works out.
I very much agree. I would not get involved in this for family or friends. Although, even as I type this....there is one family member that we have sent small amounts of $$ to, knowing full well that it was a gift.
